True fearlessness

These tiny sprouts coming out of the ground- when I look at them I see vulnerability and fearlessness. I also see the life force expressing itself, so strong and beautiful, the same life force that expresses itself in me and you. I trust that.

"True fearlessness is not the reduction of fear, but going beyond fear.

.....

Real fearlessness is the product of tenderness... You are willing to open up, without resistance or shyness, and face the world. You are willing to share your heart with others."

From Shambhala, The sacred path of the warrior, by Chogyam Trungpa

I've had people tell me that I'm courageous. But, truly, I feel like such a coward. Because there are  still so many things I'm too afraid to face. But I take heart from these teachings that fear is the ground for fearlessness. That you cannot know fearlessness without intimately knowing fear, holding it, smelling it, feeling it in your body, and working with it.

Enjoy this beautiful sunny spring day!

Peace 

Crocus

Look what came out of the ground today! After those long, dark winter days, through the frozen ground, among last year's decay, as if to remind us that there are always new beginnings, new seasons, new hope.  

Let the new growth of spring encourage you. No matter how hard or gloomy a place you find yourself in, plant a seed, physically or metaphorically, and trust that in its own time and season it will bloom.

Happy Easter!

Expansion

Remember that amazing picture of the woman sitting in meditation, with cracks going through her body and light shining from within, which I posted on March 18th. I found out more information about it: it is a sculpture called Expansion, and the artist's name is Paige Bradley. The story behind it is beautiful.

I actually ended up emailing Paige Bradley my poem, which is also in the March 18 post, and which I was inspired to write by her sculpture. I didn't expect her to write back, just wanted to let her know that her sculpture touched me. But she did email me back and said she really likes my poem and finds it inspiring. I'm really glad!

I also wanted to say thank you so much to those who responded to my post and helped me find more info about Paige Bradley's and her amazing sculpture, Expansion.

Peace

Farming

This morning Sena and Aiyana gave a presentation about farming to children from three different schools.

Then we came home for the real thing- the first big harvest of the season. We're having a farm sale tomorrow 3 to 6 pm. Feel free to stop by if you want.

It felt so good to be outside today! I felt a bit bad for those little kids we saw in the morning, most of whom would spend the whole day indoors. 

I hope you were able to get out and enjoy the sun a little.

Peace 

Wipe out the noise

May we find our own signal amidst all the noise and confusion we're surrounded with, and help others to do the same. May we be gentle and fierce in our work.



Walk in beauty.

Peace 

March for our lives

My sister and I went to the March for our lives anti gun violence rally in Hartford today.

Meanwhile, Ed took Sena and Aiyana and their cousin Julia to a showing of Sonic Sea presented by CSI Youth Group in East Hartford.

I'm so inspired by these young people taking action on important issues like gun violence and environmental health. Thank you to all of them for doing this for all the rest of us. We have put them in a situation where they have no choice but to take action. Their lives and their future are literally at stake. Health and strength to them!

Sena wore this whale tail poncho I knitted for her today for the movie showing 

Peace 

Always rising

Thorough fear and darkness

Cowardice and shame,

Self loathing,

I remember 

To look up at the sky,

Open, vast,

Holding all there is 

Unambiguously 

Storms coming and going 

And the sun

Rising to illuminate

Today is water day. Be mindful. Every day should be water day, but this is a beginning. Whether we realize it or not, we are supported by the earth, the elements, such as air and water, and the creatures around us. Our lives are possible because of them. May we respect and thank them, and do our best too, rising to illuminate the darkness around us. May we walk in beauty.

Peace

First day of spring!

Spring Equinox, first day of spring! Time to plant your seeds. Whether it be in the ground, or in your heart and mind, or in others' hearts and minds. Physical seeds, mental, emotional, spiritual seeds. Seeds of love and caring towards ourselves, those close to us and those far away. What do we do with them? How do we grow them?

A gardener chooses her best seeds and plants them. She waits, trusting that Life and the elements will come together to help them grow at the right time. She knows that she cannot grow them alone, yet she also knows her role is crucial. She tends them at the right time. She prunes them when necessary. She works in harmony with the life force. She neither places undue pressure on herself, nor sits back waiting for things to happen on their own.

We are the gardeners of our own lives. So what seeds are you planting this season? What part of yourself would you like to nurture and manifest? Some things take a very long time to manifest, and some are quite fast. But regardless, you must plant, and you must trust that the Life force will help you along to make  things grow.

A gardener never gives up. He knows that as long as the sun is shining, the rain is falling and the earth is under his feet, as long as he's alive, he can sow seeds and watch them grow. He will encounter unexpected setbacks, he may have to plant and replant. But this is the true work, so, he chooses his best seeds and grows.

Picture was taken at our farm by Molly Deegan last season.

Peace 🌎☀️

Contribute

I always have a great desire to contribute to the world, and many times this can be frustrating because how do you measure or assess your contribution? Sometimes the most important contributions we can make are quite  invisible and intangible.

But there are exceptions, moments when I can clearly see the results of my work, such as when I bring the first fresh greens of the season to the table, and feed them to my family, and see their appreciation. That feels very tangible and brings me a lot of satisfaction.

 These are lettuces 

And arugula

I made wraps with rice and beans, avocados, olives, cheese, hot sauce and  the fresh mustard and arugula greens I harvested. They were really good.



In the greenhouse, when the sun is out, I can be barefoot and in short sleeves. There's no source of heat other than the ☀️

Unrelated to the greens, but I'm posting this picture of Aiyana anyway...

I also posted my latest farm video on YouTube a couple of days ago. If you want to see more of the greenhouse and animals, here it is:

https://youtu.be/AvjDvqsWu-0

Peace

Illuminate

Sit with your brokenness

Just as you are-

afraid, and naked, and alone.

The light within

will heal you.

To the extent that you've known pain,

To the extent that you've known hope

To the extent that you allow yourself to feel
What's truly in your heart

Will it be possible to love

And bring light to another.

I love this picture, especially the cracks and the light shining from within. I got it off a FB page I follow, but it gave no source. If anyone knows where this is, would you let me know?

Head up

"It's better to feel pain than nothing at all 

The opposite of love is indifference

....

Keep your head up, love"

The Lumineers, Stubborn love 

Pictures are from yesterday: the Willimantic River, Keri's farm and our house.

Permanent attitude

Martin Luther King Jr. said: "Forgiveness is not an occasional act. It is a permanent attitude."

But before being able to truly forgive others, we must forgive ourselves. 

Forgiving ourselves and healing ourselves in general, the way I see it, is not about self indulgence. We are here. We have work to do. Forgiveness is about freeing ourselves enough so we can move on and do our work. I don't mean paid work necessarily, but the kind of work that we, as humans can contribute to life. The kind of work that we are all qualified for just by being us.

Whatever gifts I have, whatever goodness I can bring to the world, recognized or not, paid or not, that is what I think is the work I am here to do.

So let's start by forgiving ourselves every day and letting ourselves move on so that we can forgive others too, and allow our lives and our unique gifts to be a contribution for good in the world.

Water

I wince when I hear water referred to as a resource, because to me, resources are equated with things we often feel free to abuse.

Water is primordial and essential. Water is life. What we do to the water, we do to ourselves. What we put in the water, we put into ourselves.

Water is sacred in many cultures past and present. It represents our deep connection to the earth and to each other. The Tao Te Ching urges us to be like water, soft, supple, yielding and infinitely strong.

So next time you have a sip of water, stop for a moment and be mindful. Realize that this water connects you with every living being. It connects you to mountains and valleys and oceans. It connects you to the ones you love, be they near or far. Give respect to the water and don't pollute it. Don't waste it and try not to use single use plastic bottles that end up polluting the water in the end.

Give thanks to the water if you feel moved to. Tell it your troubles and your dreams. Water can be a great teacher. It was Bruce Lee's great teacher. Do what feels good to you, but build a good connection with water.

Live sings "Our love is like water" and that feels right to me. May every sip of water make you feel loved and connected.

Peace 

Happy Birthday Roxi!

Today I am so happy because it is my sister's birthday!

Happy birthday to her, and may she continue to sing her unique  life song, and be her beautiful, unpretentious self, touching all of us around her with her giving presence. Love and respect to her, and much gratitude for having her close to me.

Also, special thanks to her for being the spark that ignited my love of animals, cooking and cozy home. When we moved to the US back in 99, I was a city girl, with not much knowledge of the natural world. But after living with my sister in Clinton, CT, and being around her, seeing how much she cared about polar bears and other animals, that planted a seed in me that later grew into a different lifestyle and led me to a different way of relating to the world. Those years down by the shore in CT with my sister were a real turning point in my life, for many reasons, and I am so grateful that we spent them living together.

Even though my sister and I are very different in some ways, even opposites, one of the greatest gifts she gives me is that she always makes me feel special in being who I am, instead of judged. She makes me want to be more me, and that is a rare gift. I hope to learn from her and be able to pass that gift on to others.

🐱🐓🐄🐬☀️🦋🐝🕷🦊🐞🐿♥️🌎🙏

Test

I had such a great time in NYC yesterday! The ceremony was very beautiful, and I met some incredible women from all over the world- Denmark, New Zealand, Peru, and the US. I contributed to the ceremony by singing a song for the earth, which I learned at the sweat lodge. My heart was filled with so much love and joy the whole day, and so much hope too. There really are so many amazing, caring people out there, working to help the world and all its creatures in many different ways. I am inspired and refreshed by my day yesterday and wanting to do my part to help in whatever way I can.

Today I'm back on the farm, and we're having another beautiful snow storm.

A quote from Richard Bach:

"Here's the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: if you're alive, it isn't."

I got it off the FB page of one of the women I met yesterday, and I love it.

Peace 🙏🌎

NYC

I am in New York City today for a sacred pipe ceremony held near the UN by elders from all over the world (my friend Bert among them). It's a ceremony for healing the earth. So I came to support this beautiful effort. 

But I had some time before the ceremony, so I walked around a bit and found some good food:  cheeses at Eataly, and a little French cafe for a nice coffee, croissant, and a little chocolate. Life is good🌎

Peace 🙏

Love and strength

Sometimes I feel like I still have so many basic questions, like the ones below. I have a feeling they will take a lifetime to figure out (if I'm lucky). I could be daunted by this, but right now all I feel is excitement at knowing there's so much left to learn...

How can you be strong and at the same time abandon yourself to love?

What kind of strength is it to love another, and yet not burden them with your need and expectation that they conform to your image?

How do we learn that kind of love? By doing it and messing it up and doing it again and again...

Light

Our work is to shine our light into the darkness that is within and around us. What is our light? Whatever understanding we may have, whatever truth, kindness, beauty, love. Whatever may be of use to this world in some way. We don't have to be perfect or enlightened to be of use. We don't have to wait for our struggles to be over, our problems to be worked out. In many ways, they never will be. We all have gifts to bring to the world right now, just as we are. Our work is to find these gifts, (and that is not so hard, because we do know what our gifts are), and share them even as we wade through the muck of our ongoing personal struggles. 

We don't have to wait for the right career or the right anything to come along. We all have something to share: a kind word or deed, a piece of art we made, a kind look, a hug, a helpful small act. Even a kind thought or a good intention that will one day be transformed into action. Let's not let all these beautiful little gifts that we naturally have be wasted while we wait for something big to come along, something recognized by others.

Like the candles in this picture, soon our lights will be extinguished. So let us not be held back by fear, perfectionism, or by looking for approval or reward. Let's take what we've got and be brave with it. All we have in the end, is what we give. I really believe that. Besides, what do we have to lose?


Peace 🙏

Beautiful snow

Same shot as the one I posted yesterday, but outside looks quite different, right?

In the lower left corner is Sena cleaning snow off the car before I drove her to college.

I took these pictures while doing my morning chores. I love fresh, fluffy snow.

Upside down wheelbarrow sticking up from under the snow.




Peace 

A favorite corner

I recently organized this corner of the house and I love it now. Mainly because of the flowers.

When I hear your story,

The details and the circumstance

That brought you here,

It all makes sense.

How can I blame 

Or judge you?

Just wish you well

And root for you 

To find the strength,

honor your life.

And may I too find strength 

To honor mine 

Wall of resistance

I stand before you 

My wall of resistance

So tall and broad, so unassailable 

How will I ever move past you?

Over and over

Connect with what there is-

The fear, sorrow, shame 

Open your heart,

And let them in,

Along with hope, excitement, joy 

See them, hear them, feel them

Until they're ready

To move on 

I cannot break the wall 

But one day I will move right through it 

As it dissolves, and I dissolve

And we are one.

Life is a tough friend

Life will break us, again and again.

This is the only way to find what is unbreakable.

Success and failure

Not sure I like thinking in terms of success and failure (I like thinking in terms of lessons learned better). Yet, it's hard to get away from these concepts, so deeply embedded into our society and ourselves. So if you're going to think like this,  I think it's useful to remember what Chogyam Trungpa said:

Egyptian food

My mom has been spending some time with us, here in CT. Today, she and I walked to an Egyptian restaurant that recently opened near our house, called Alladin. The food was really good and I had a great time talking with my mom about her trips and other experiences.

Our lunch: Chicken Kobabs, tabuleh and hummus. Yum!

I like this picture of my mom and I 


Peace