Christmas family photo, 2020 style

Sadly, due to Covid, this year we were unable to go see my parents in Canada for the holidays... But thank goodness for Zoom.

Merry Christmas, peace and joy!

 Merry Christmas, peace and health to you!

Peace

Happy 17th Birthday to our wonderful Sena!!!

How can I describe Sena?  Environmental and social justice activist; junior in college; second degree black belt; these flat words don't even come close to encompassing the beautiful, caring, complex person she is.

May all her days be as bright and beautiful as she is.

Happy Birthday Sena!

That time

 

A wounded bird takes flight

My heart 

That time under the Christmas tree 

When I believed 

-rm

All we have within us. Or. Disturbance in the field of being.

 

There is no question that you will create a

Disturbance
The only question is
What kind of disturbance
Will that be

-rm

(Picture is of a mural I love at my school)

Peace

A field of birds

A ray lights up the dark

A field of birds take flight

A burst of joy

Renewed belief 

I am

-rm

(Image: Pixabay)

Lucy's note!!!

 I love this note so much. My little niece, Lucy, who is 7-years-old, sent it to me yesterday.

Peace

Moved to reflect on this

I've been moved to ask and reflect on this question below, by my recent experience getting certified as a teacher.

Some of us may never have had anyone who truly saw us; some of us may have had several people.

But regardless, WE can be someone who sees others and allows them to bring out and contribute their best. WE can give that to ourselves and to each other. 

For those of us who feel that we have no reason to be, what other reason do we need?

Peace

Once upon a time in Romania

 A picture of a picture that my mom sent me. I was 6. The shirt and skirt are traditional dress from Arges county. 

I feel like I've lived so many lives.

Peace

The fragility of hope

Not holding on

Nor letting go

I am in love

With the fragility

Of hope

-rm

Happy Thanksgiving!

What are you grateful for?

It's been a tough year for many people. Still, I have a lot of things to be grateful for, including the obvious: that we are healthy and we have what we need, and that we have hope again after Biden was elected.

Two other things I wanted to mention:

I'm grateful that I was able to transition into yet another field of work in my life, and that I am getting to teach a subject I love.

And I'm grateful that my mom is healthier and found a way to help herself through diet and exercise. She lost over 10kg (22lbs)! And is feeling better with her depression, her energy level, her blood sugar and everything. She has inspired me and all of us - after all these years of doctors and trying everything, she found something that works for her and is motivated to stick with it!

I really do have a lot more that I'm grateful for, but it all boils down to just being here to experience whatever life brings, and to be able to share it with others.

Peace and Happy Thanksgiving!

What really saves us

What really saves us is this:

the fact

that at any point in our lives,

despite what came before,

despite where we are now,

despite the randomness and unfairness of life,

we can choose to do good.

Peace

Aiyana's Amazing Creative Outpouring

Aiyana has been in a major creative phase over the past few months. I think that being home due to Covid has allowed her to express herself in a way that she wasn't able to before.

She has been crocheing and opened her own etsy shop. She made me a sweater that I wore at school, and got compliments on, and when I said that my daughter made it, people could not believe it.

She has been cooking for us (and basically took over from me cooking now that I am so busy and involved with my school work), making delicious things like pizza from scratch, stuffed peppers, Romanian meat balls (chiftele), butternut squash soup, etc.

And she has been drawing. Here is some of her work:

Peace

1 minute video of Sena speaking about our farm

Sena was interviewed about our farm and growing local food a couple of weeks ago. Here's a 1 minute video of her which will become part of a larger video about farms and local food production.

https://youtu.be/mAsB1K19tmU

Before taking this teaching job, I was afraid of several things:

I was afraid that I would be thrown in without any support; I was afraid that I would be expected to provide all of my teaching materials and curriculum; I was afraid that I would be overwhelmed; and so on.

All of those fears came true. But there was one more fear: that I wouldn't be able to do it. That fear did not come true. I am doing it, and although my hands were shaking for weeks on end from being so hyped up, and although my stomach has also been kind of messed up for weeks, from being so stressed, things are calming down a bit, and I can honestly say that I love it. 

I still cannot believe that I'm teaching physics. I've always loved physics, but I never thought that one day I'd be teaching it, but somehow here I am, doing it, stumbling through it, and despite the stress, realizing in the quiet moments that I'm loving it. And I'm loving the kids in my class and my interaction with them. I want to do right by them and be a great teacher to them.

I also love the cultural diversity of my school. I had conversations with parents 100% in Spanish, and that is really fun, and it gets me to sharpen my Spanish skills.

Peace 

Light and Healing

There will be no closure to these wounds

They will continue to pour light and healing 

-rm

Wounds can become a source of bitterness and regret. They can perpetuate further hurt and misunderstanding. Or, they can become a source of compassion and understanding, softening us to the world and to our own place in it, thus generating an outpouring of healing light.

(Picture is in Mystic, CT, last Friday.)

I initially wrote this little poem for myself, on a personal level; but then I realized that it may also be quite applicable politically, to all of us as a people, at this moment in time.

Peace

HE WON!!!!

OMG! 😻😻😻😻😻

Feeling sick about it

Feeling sick about this election, even though it's not over yet. How can it be so close? After four years of proof. How can so many people still vote for him?

The only thing that I can think of to comfort myself right now, is that I know many, many other people out there are feeling just like I am right now, and we must be there for each other.

Hang in there...

Peace 

RAIN

Things have still been hyper intense over here with my new job. Not bad, just very stressful.

I figured out last night that this situation, how things are, will not change for at least another year. There are various reasons for that, which I won't go into.

So, I decided that I am the one who has to change and figure out a way to handle the situation in a more sustainable way.

So, after letting that thought sink in before falling asleep last night, I had a beautiful dream that I really treasure. Just a simple little dream in which my mom was showing me pictures of when I was a little girl. In one of them, I was running in the rain, with my head thrown back, and I was laughing. Looking at that picture in my dream, I could feel that true happiness and simplicity of the state I was in; that pure enjoyment of what is, for no particular reason.

Outside of my dream, I know that that feeling is real, and I know that it was a reminder for me that this state of simple joy is always accessible to me, even now when I am burdened with the cares and stresses of daily life.

Today, after I taught my class, I was posting a video on my YouTube channel. I started my own physics YouTube channel, to help students solve problems, etc. (go to YouTube and search Raluca Mocanu Physics and it should come up, if you're interested).

When I finished uploading my video, another video popped up. Like my dream last night, it was also on the theme of Rain, coincidentally or not, and it held a beautiful message and a method that felt almost like a reminder / complement to what I saw in my dream. The video is called "5 hindrances to self mastery" and Here it is if you want to watch it.

Peace

It really is the little things, sometimes...

One of my students anonymously posted this sticker this morning on our virtual white board while I was teaching my Physics class. I did not see it until after the class, but when I did, it made me so happy.

I guess I'm doing something right, at least for some of the students, even though things have felt so stressful over the past few weeks...

And here's snapshot of what my "white board" looks like teaching remotely. I got myself a stylus and pad that I can hook up to my computer and write on, so it appears on the screen like this. It's fun!

Peace

A Little bit of an update

 Things have been crazy with my new job: coming in one month into the semester, trying to jump right in, get to know the students, cover the material to prepare them for the AP Physics exam, and figuring out the classroom technology at the same time. On top of it, the ongoing school closures and changes due to covid. The latest was on Friday, being told that we're going fully remote for the next two weeks. Just when I had figured out the smartboard in the classroom :)

I've had to do most of this pretty much on my own. But on the upside, I have already made some great connection with the kids in my class. They are so smart and sweet, and I really care about them already. That is enough to carry me through this period of stress.

Furthermore, the teachers at my old school have been so encouraging and amazing, really boosting me up and telling me that they think I'm going to be a great teacher. It really means so much to me, and I have learned so much from them over the past year, sitting in their classrooms and seeing how they teach.

As far as the farm, things are going really well considering how busy Ed and I have both been doing our own thing. Our worker, Dan, has been keeping everything afloat, and sales have been very good. We still have a lot of vegetables in the field.

I am still doing deliveries every Friday, which is actually a good thing, because the drive time gives me a break from overthinking and generally trying to do too much. I am also milking the cows once a week, but I had to stop making cheese because it was too much. I still make yogurt though.

So that's about it for my update. To sum it up, I would say that things have been crazy, but also that I am very excited, and I really think that being a physics teacher it will suit me well. 

I hope you guys are all doing well :)

Oh yeah, and don't forget, whatever you do, don't forget to:

Peace 

Aiyana is 15!!!

 Aiyana got her first leather jacket yesterday for her 15th birthday.

Happy birthday to our lovely, smart, creative, kind, animal lover, and always fashionable Aiyana!!!!

I got the job!

I am so excited and also really nervous. I got the job I interviewed for last week. I will be teaching AP (Advanced Placement) Physics at Windham Highschool, starting this Monday!

It is what I really wanted, but the semester is already 4 weeks in, and I haven't even met the kids yet! They have to take the AP exam in May, so I need to get them ready for that, and I am starting everything from scratch. I was lucky enough to have a friend share all of her AP Physics materials with me - all her presentations, assessment, assignments, etc. That is a huge help. Still, I have to get familiar with everything by Monday, get organized, learn the school's platforms, and hit the ground running. Not to mention that this will be my first time ever teaching my own classroom.

The kids in my class will be high school juniors and seniors. I really look forward to meeting them. I like that age group a lot.

I'm going to work really hard to be ready and do well by them. Hopefully I won't burn myself out worrying about all the what if's and all the unknowns, of which there are so many...

A while ago, I wrote in my journal "Physics is the door to wonderland". So I try to remember that, and think of how exciting it is to have this opportunity to share it with others, and let that mitigate some of the stress I am feeling right now.

Peace

Before the tumult

 

Early morning

Silence of dawn -

I sit alone,

Though I share this moment with you,

Before I plunge into the tumult of the world

-rm

~~~

And some news: today I have an interview for an AP Physics teacher position in Windham. I'm excited and a bit nervous....

Peace

Things as they are

Things as they are: 

There's nothing holier than that

-rm

And I also wanted to share this article , just published in yes! magazine, which features Sena's work, among other activists. I love this quote from the article:

"Climate is not just an environmental issue, according to youth activists. It’s also a racial justice issue, an economic issue, and an access-to-health care issue."

The opening

 

I fell in love with you

And when it didn't work 

I fell in love with 

Everything 

-rm

Eventually, we find out that some people's role in our lives is simply to open something in us; to awaken us such that we fall in love with everything; with life itself, in all its beauty and messiness.

This is not a Hollywood kind of love; it is a much grittier and much more delicate kind of love; a down to earth and a sublime kind of love. A real and always available kind of love.

Peace

The intimate dance of seer and the seen

 

The intimate dance of seer and the seen:

Though it is right in front of you

What you see

Is not what you are seeing;

Seeing itself is the art

That changes everything;

Refine your art

Refine your state of being 

What you perceive will change

Though what you see will stay the same

Sena invited at an announcement by the Attorney General of CT

Yesterday, Sena and her co-director Mitch from Sunrise CT, were invited to be present at an announcement made by the Attorney General of Connecticut.

The announcement was an exciting one: Connecticut is suing ExxonMobil for knowingly engaging in practices that are proven to be detrimental to the environment and worsening climate change.

Accountability is important.

It is time. It is passed time.

As you can see from the pics above, Sena has an Instagram account where you can follow her if you are interested in her work and activism.

Peace

The banquet

Until we are ready to see The banquet will be laid before us And yet We will be starving -rm How do we become ready? Our lives take care of that, through all our good and bad experiences. All we need to do is pay attention and be present.

Some moments

 

Some moments I remember

Are so beautiful

Like sea glass 

And also dangerous

At any instant I could cut myself

Start bleeding

Once again

The language of light

But the most intimate conversations 

Have no need for words

No template

Story of my life:

I was given a template 

And told to fill in the details 

But I've always preferred 

A more non-linear story 

At the intersection

The question is not

What your identity is

But rather 

What lies at the intersection

Of all the identities your embody

At any given moment

-rm

We've been doing some workshops on identity and culture as part of our professional development this past week in school, which I really enjoyed, and which prompted me to write this poem.

Speaking of this past week: it's good to find out what doesn't work. I found that working both at school and on the farm (even though most of what I'm doing on the farm these days is interacting with customers online) is not sustainable for me. And so, I will pass on more of the farm responsibility to our worker Dan, and see how it balances out.

I hope you have a great weekend and enjoy this beautiful weather.

Self sown

Where the old structure used to stand

Wildflowers now grow wild Self sown Among the ruins

Be a reason

If you're looking for purpose, 

Know that the simplest and most achievable things 

Are also the most powerful: 

Be a reason why someone feels seen,

Understood,

Why they feel free to laugh,

Forgiven.

Be a reason why they feel 

A part and not apart 

Be a reason why someone believes

That good and loveliness survive

Peace

The name before the name

And if I say my name 

You wouldn't know me 

But if, somehow,

I could convey 

The name I had

Before the name 

You'd know we have been kindred 

All along 

Peace 

Background exuberance

And yet the exuberance

Backdrop to these tears -

Sun shining though the rain

-rm

Did you see the how the sun was shining through last evening's rain? Be still and know that behind your heartbreak, behind your fears and your tears, there is also a sun shining: the exuberance of life expressing itself through YOU. Can you feel it?

What's been going on

I thought I'd write a post today about what's been going on this summer and some changes that are coming.

Our farming season has been one of the best in years. We went from 2 restaurant/food coop accounts to 5, and the sales here at the farm have also increased significantly. Luckily, we have our amazing worker, Dan, who's been doing all the field work, while I have been doing deliveries twice a week (up from once a week in past years), and taking care of the sales side of the business.

I've also been milking once or twice a week, and making cheese sometimes, but not as much as I used to because I'm trying to get some rest.

As of next week, my farm contribution will decrease dramatically. I am starting my school job on Monday, continuing as instructional assistant in the Science department at EO Smith High School. In September, I also start my teacher certification course, so I can become fully certified by the Dept. of Education to teach Physics. This will be once a week, every Saturday, from Sept to Feb, and then more intensive after that.

My routine will be very different starting next week, and I am trying to enjoy this last week at home as much as possible. I've been spending most of my days outside with my plants and animals, some of which you can see in the pictures below. I'm very grateful that I was able to be here with Sena and Aiyana every day since March. Honestly, I am not sick of being home, but that is because we are so lucky to be able to have access to the outdoors any time we want and in a safe way.

I was able to review almost all of AP Physics this summer, so I'm feeling in good shape for teaching next year, at least content wise. I'm really loving the fact that somehow (certainly this was not a long term plan) I came back to Physics. I feel that it's really my thing. I've always felt this way, but after University, I barely got the chance to use what I learned. I mean, Engineering, of course is grounded in Physics, but in my job at Pratt, I mostly did the same thing over and over, and I never really got to explore the fundamental concepts and ideas that excite me so much right now. Anyway, I'm glad to be back in it now, and hopefully I'll be able to channel my excitement into becoming a good teacher and helping kids understand and develop a passion for it too.

One of my favorite things I did this summer was to listen to Richard Feynman's lectures and interviews on YouTube. I really like him and think he is a phenomenal teacher. All his lectures from Caltech are available in print, and I plan to get them soon.

One day, my sister came over, and I told her that I felt kind of guilty for watching Physics videos when I should be doing farm work. She laughed and said that I'm the only person she knows that feels guilty for binging on Physics videos, so after that I stopped feeling guilty about it.

As for the rest of the family, Ed has been back at work for a while now, and the girls are starting school soon. Sena is taking 5 classes at UConn, 2 of which are in person and the rest online. Aiyana will be starting 10th grade remote. She had the choice to go fully remote, or two days per week in person, and she decided to go with fully remote, which worked great for her last spring.

Our animals are all doing well. We had 2 new calves this summer, a bull and a heifer, and they are super cute playing with each other.

That's about it for now. I hope that you are all staying healthy, and I wish you well.

Peace

Sena and Aiyana

 Looks like they had some fun taking pictures in the field...