It's been so incredibly dry this spring! I am irrigating every day and can barely keep up with the needs of the crops and the orchard. We had one inch of very welcome rain last week, but that was it for the past month. Very abnormal.

I went to a talk on bees and native pollinators last night, given by a well known entomologist from CT Experiment Station. Very depressing. I knew that honey bees are in trouble. It's been years that we've been hearing about colony collapse, and right here at our farm, on average only 50% of hives make it through the winter. Sometimes less. But what I found most depressing is seeing the numbers. In particular, there was an analysis of bee pollen that showed a cocktail of chemical poisons, originating from different pesticides. If they are ending up in bee pollen, I know that they're ending up in so many other places. In fact, I keep coming to the dark realization that we have poisoned our environment, and the fundamental elements that our lives depend on: we have polluted the water we drink, the air we breathe, and everything is suffering including us. In my ongoing research on Aiyana's Hashimoto, I found that autoimmune diseases have reached unsurpassed levels. Almost everyone knows someone who has Multiple Sclerosis, or Chron's Disease, or Lupus, or Type 1 Diabetes, or Hashimoto's, or Celiac, and so on. I do believe that the rise of these types of diseases, the ongoing pollution of our food, water and air with toxic chemicals, our crazy lifestyle, as well as the use of toxic materials in everything around us from plastics to household furniture, go together. I feel angry and hopeless with all this. I feel like we humans are a scourge to the earth and the other life forms we share it wit. I feel sad that we have made it so hard for our children to grow up healthy.

I don't like to feel this way, so I focus on what I can do. I have to do something. If I can't contribute in a positive way to life, then what am I doing here?

For now all I can think of doing is keep farming. Keep doing it in a good way. Plant flowers to support native pollinators. Don't spray pesticides even at the risk of losing the crop. Take good care of the cows, so they can keep the soil in good health and keep us healthy as well. Talk to people about what I've learned and what I found to be true.

Lately I've been carrying around in my pocket a little piece of paper with 4 things written on it. I look at it when I feel overwhelmed, or when I need inspiration, or just a change of focus. I've only had it with me for a week, but I found it helpful so far. These are my 4 things:

1. Do one thing at a time, do it well (this is for when I feel overwhelmed by looking at my list and noticing the 20 things that have to get done before lunch)
2. Gratitude (this one helps when I feel negative. I just refocus on things I am grateful for, like my children, being healthy, being able to work, being in a war free zone, etc)
3. Joy (I think of this as an internal state that is fundamental, although sometimes overshadowed by worry and anxiety, yet always there to reconnect with)
   
4. Hope (despite what I wrote in the beggining of this post, I do have a lot of hope, because I see goodness in so many places, and because I know that the Life force is strong and will prevail over every obstacle).

Peace

Recent pictures of cows, family and the farm

Sorry for the poor quality of the pics. Our camera is on its last leg, and I don't have time to edit and make them as pretty as I'd like. But you get the idea.

 

Jasmine and Jet

All our cows

A little outing with the girls at Bluff Point

Dipping their toes in the Ocean first time this year

Sisters

Playing on a Sunday afternoon.Some people balk at all the dandelions. I think they're very pretty and the cows love them.

Aiyana with Ed

Practicing Karate

Very happy cows grazing the rye/vetch/clover winter cover crop

The orchard

Apples in blossom

The apple blossoms make the whole farm smell delightful

Peace

Sena's letter from President Obama

Sena received a letter from  President Obama, in response to the letter she sent him in February (previously posted here). She was very excited when she saw an envelope from the White House addressed to her personally.
Peace

Pictures from our land in Willington

Ed's been working on our land in Willington, getting a portion of it it ready for planting. We're planning to grow some crops over there this year on about a third of an acre. The rest will be in pasture for the cows.

This picture shows Ed standing in the portion that he prepared for vegetables.

This is me sitting under a beautiful old oak tree, which we think is at least 200 years old. The woman who owned the land before us had her ashes scattered near this tree. She was a  school teacher and a farmer, tough and independent and, we were told, quite outspoken. She loved her land, and it's too bad that we never had a chance to meet her before she died. I hope that she would have approved of what we are planning to do with the land.

Here is Ed standing by a pile of boulders he took out of the field he plowed above. I told him that if he ever looks for a job again, all he has to do is put this picture on his resume. But he didn't want to take credit, he said it was the hydraulics on his tractor that did the work.

Sena and Aiyana were very excited to discover an old turntable in the old house on the property, where the ex-owner used to live. The house is in so-so shape. My parents plan to do some work on it and stay there when they come to CT.

There's also an old barn on the property.

Peace