Fear not the pain

For numbing to pain is also numbing to tenderness and to everything beautiful. This pain is just your love reflected in a different mirror. 

Peace 

Twelve years ago, my Halloween princesses

Now 14 and almost 16 years old....Aiyana taking geometry and killing it. Sena teaching calculus to other students in her class and leading protests. Crazy stuff...

Their expressions kill me. 

Peace 

Fail by succeeding

We can fail ourselves while succeeding in ways we've been taught to unquestionably follow. Yet,  when we become aware of this, we have already begun to turn around. The shift towards authenticity has happened; now failure and success become relative and ever shifting. Failure leads to success and vice versa. Abandoning notions of success and failure for the practice of simply living with integrity may, paradoxically, be the ultimate success.

Peace 

This feedback keeps me going

I am so grateful when someone writes to let me know that my poems reach them in a deep, meaningful way. I never know if what I write, which comes out of my personal experience, will resonate with or reach someone else. But my greatest hope is that it does, so when someone gets back to me, like these people below did recently, it really means a lot to me.

"This book reveals what the beauty of the heart can be through poetry. It is filled with passages that shifted my perspective into an inspiring truth. I frequently pick it up and read a passage just for a momentary pickup. Well done Raluca."- from QC, Canada

"I am rereading your book of poetry...for inspiration and just plain spiritual pleasure....I hope many people treat themselves by purchasing your beautiful works of "spiritual art" as I have done."- from CT, USA

"Good morning, Raluca,
Moved and inspired as I knew I would be, you emerge the quintessential Buddha nature, as defined by the Lotus flower.
I will now go back to dwell with each poem for a while.
I have ten thousand words I want to say, but for now they will rest in the "silence"
- from PA, USA

Peace

A trifle

If we have the courage and presence to be still and see, truly see, the beauty inherent in everything down to the most banal aspect of our lives, we'd surely recognize that even a love as great as Orpheus had for Eurydice pales by comparison to what we're surrounded by and what is possible within ourselves.

Peace 

First dance

Aiyana, home from her first high school dance lady night!

When I went to pick her up at the end of the dance, all the girls were coming out dressed up to the max in heels and super skimpy dresses. I've been there. The boys were dressed up too and looked like they were trying so hard. The whole thing was funny and sweet to me, now that I don't have to worry about it, and can just hang outside with the other parents with my thick wool sweater and unfashionable everything, and just be okay with it.

Peace 

Don't forget to leave a blank space

My daughter's friend was telling Aiyana and I about a project they're doing in her high school English class. It sounds so great, so I wanted to share it here.

So the teacher in this class asked the kids to create a collage of their inner lives or inner landscape, something they'd be comfortable sharing with the rest of the class, that would reveal who they are beyond outward appearances.

Apparently, this one boy, when it was his turn to present his collage, showed a blank page. He is someone who's known in school for being an athlete. He explained that he put out a blank sheet because he didn't know what his inner landscape looked like. He'd been strongly encouraged by his parents to get into sports from an early age, and even though he eventually started enjoying sports, he never really got the chance to explore other things about himself.

I found this sad at first, but then, when talking with my daughter's friend, we were saying how at the same time, this is a wide open door for this boy. His page is literally blank, and he can put whatever he wants on it, which I think, is exhilarating.

So what does you inner landscape collage look like? I think it's fun to think about this, and share it with others, if you're comfortable.

And if you do think about it, or even make a collage, no matter what you come up with, don't forget to leave a blank space!

Peace

So many ways

Seashells
And bumblebees
Physics
And distant constellations
There are so many ways
In which it's possible
To love you

Peace

Two wells

(Image source: Pixabay)

Peace 

Happy birthday Aiyana!

Turning 14 on this beautiful, fitting day!

Peace 

Update about my job

I'm happy to say that so far I really like my teaching job. I've been an Instructional Assistant at EOSmith since the beginning of this school year in late August, working with two teachers in the science department. I feel appreciated, and I feel like I am making a difference. I like that I get to work one-on-one with kids, teaching them some basic science skills that will hopefully serve them for the rest of their lives.

I also like my schedule a lot. I'm in school from 7 to 2, and the day goes by really fast. The schedule is fast paced, and there's no time to get bored. 

I must say that having a job is so much easier than running your own business. I didn't realize just how much until now, when I can actually feel the difference. I come to school, I do my work, I leave. End of story. Running your own business, you're always on, always worried about something, the customers, the suppliers, the work itself, whatever. It just never ends and there's nobody to turn to. You're it, and if you're not responsible, if you don't stay on top of things, you bear the consequences. There are no breaks and something always needs attention.

That being said, we are still farming. We have a great worker that does most of the physical work during the day, but I still take care of all the customer stuff, do deliveries every Friday after school, and in general take care of the logistics.

In addition, I help Sena and Aiyana with their homework or whatever support they need when they get home, and I still cook and try to make cheese, so being able to have a job that ends at 2 is very beneficial.

So that's my update for now, and I must say I'm grateful that it's turning out to be like this. I was pretty nervous before I started and didn't know what to expect.

Peace

From a dream

Woke up at 1:30am last night and jotted this down before falling back asleep.

The picture is from our trip to the Azores in 2017.

Peace 

Contribute

Knowing what it feels like to hurt, to be disappointed, ashamed, afraid, and all the other things we try so hard to avoid, can, if held with awareness, allow us to contribute more, as far as helping others, than any perfection we might have wished for in our lives. In this sense, our problems and difficulties are precious to our life's work and meaning.

🍃Poem by Raluca Mocanu. Check out my new release: Out of the silence (link in bio) www.etsy.com/shop/shundahaishop

Over $1000 from my poetry went to protect the environment since 2018! 🐝