just after i posted my last message, i headed to the library to pick up my kids (my sister had themfor the morning), and ran into a woman from Mexico.... i know her daughter from one of my friends who babysits her, and that's how we started talking.
this woman is here on a sabatical (she works with UConn), and i told her about wanting to go to Mexico. she said she has a friend from Oaxaca, and gave me his email. i wrote to him, and already got a reply, so i have two leads for places to check out: Ixtlan de Juarez, in the mountains, and Mazunte, by the beach. both sound amazing, so i'll do some more research to figure out which one to go to...
maybe we'll go to both?
i love how things work out sometimes....
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Friday, September 26, 2008
oaxaca?
i've been spending time over the past few weeks planning a trip to mexico, and it's been pretty exciting. we want to go in december, and plan to spend about 6 weeks there. i've been doing research to find out what would be a good spot for us to go to, and so far, i've settled on the state of Oaxaca.
i still need to find out a lot of info, before we go...it's not at easy as before kids, when we'd just get on a plane and go, and figure out the rest once we got there. now, i feel like i should at least know some basic info as to how safe the place is, and how suitable for doing things with kids. also, ed wants to take language classes, either in some kind of school or with a private tutor, so i want to make sure that that is available wherever we end up going. Oaxaca sounds good, although Oaxaca city itself sounds too big for our interests. we'd prefer to find a smaller place, preferably not too touristy, where we can settle down and enjoy the local life for the short time we have there. we plan to do some side trips as well, and there seems to be no shortage of places to see in the region.
my challenge right now is trying to figure out where to go after we get to Oaxaca city. there are tons of small villages in the area, but i can't find any info as to language classes, accomodations, or what kind of stuff there is that i can do with the kids....
i'll keep looking, but if anyone reading this has any info, could you please let me know?
i still need to find out a lot of info, before we go...it's not at easy as before kids, when we'd just get on a plane and go, and figure out the rest once we got there. now, i feel like i should at least know some basic info as to how safe the place is, and how suitable for doing things with kids. also, ed wants to take language classes, either in some kind of school or with a private tutor, so i want to make sure that that is available wherever we end up going. Oaxaca sounds good, although Oaxaca city itself sounds too big for our interests. we'd prefer to find a smaller place, preferably not too touristy, where we can settle down and enjoy the local life for the short time we have there. we plan to do some side trips as well, and there seems to be no shortage of places to see in the region.
my challenge right now is trying to figure out where to go after we get to Oaxaca city. there are tons of small villages in the area, but i can't find any info as to language classes, accomodations, or what kind of stuff there is that i can do with the kids....
i'll keep looking, but if anyone reading this has any info, could you please let me know?
some things i'm happy about
we've just had the most gorgeous weather lately! i can't get enough! i want to be outside as much as possible, take it all in...
so i am really excited these days, and it's for several reasons other than the weather:
first, the kids and i have been having a great time just doing our daily stuff. sena and aiyana have been playing well together (lately their favorite game is one in which aiyana is either a horse or a dog - there's much argument before deciding which one - and sena is a farmer); when they're not playing we've been doing little projects together. yesterday, for example, sena wanted to write a book, and i helped her. aiyana joined in and made her own book. sena's book is 6 pages long. first, she illustrated each page, and then, with my help, wrote the text. i suggested that we do one or two sentences per page, but she had a lot to say, so it ended up being more like a paragraph for the first few pages. she told me what she wanted to write, and i helped her figure out how to spell it, by sounding out the words. it went really well at first, but after about half hour, we both got tired and started to get frustrated. my thing is that when we're doing something, if it's not fun, we should stop doing it, so i tried to suggest that we stop and continue the next day, but she was really into it.... so we finished the page she was working on, and continued the rest today. aiyana only illustrated her book; she wanted to write something too, but she can't write any words yet, so she only made an "A", and an "O". anyway, they were both really proud and excited with their books when they were done today, and i am really excited too. it was a lot of fun, and i learned something as well: to respect their short attention span, as well as my own feelings.
the other thing i'm very excited about is our garden. last tuesday was fall equinox, and it got me thinking about what we grew and how it turned out. it's been so great having a garden, and this year was more productive than last. we are still learning a lot, of course, and probably will be for a long time. eating food that we grew ourselves has been pretty amazing (i say we, but really ed did all of the farming work, and i did mostly picking and cooking)... i still can't get over the "miracle" of a perfect pepper, or a tomato, or whatever it is that grows, seemingly, out of the dirt. i find it really humbling to think about what it took to grow our food, the soil, the water, the sun, the seed, our work, and how all of that combined and intertwined to produce something that sustains us. when i cook food from our garden, i feel like it's an act of reverence, and i do so with much more awareness and respect than i used to in the past. you know that saying "you are what you eat", i never quite got it before, but now i do. when i eat kale, for example, i feel that all of the things that it took for the kale to grow and flourish are now becoming part of me, and so i feel not only nourished, but more connected to everything around me - the earth, the sun, the water...
i made a list of everything we planted this year, and commented about what, if anything, we'd like to do differently in the future. here's what it looks like:
kale: this has been an amazing crop, it sustained us since spring. it's still going strong now;
carrots: had a good crop, but need to plant more; we all love them - the kids, esp. eat them raw out of the ground;
beets: same as carrots; kids eat them like candy;
basil: great, but had too much of it; made pesto and used in cooking;
dill: love it. i cook it in many dishes; the smell of it always reminds me of mamaia's cooking.
parsley: great crop this year;
beans: sena, ed and i love them; plant more next year;
peas: kids love them; had a lot, but could increase next year;
arugula: planted too much this year;
peppers: great, but slugs damaged lots of them before they had a chance to turn red...
zucchini: we didn't plant any this year, but had a volunteer plant which produced quite a bit...plant more next year;
lettuces: great crop, plant a little less maybe next year;
spinach: had enough this year;
tomatoes: great crop this year; froze lots for the winter; plant a little more next year;
corn: definitely need to plant more next year; we only had a about 15 plants, but they did great, and the kids love them.
here's what i think would be nice to add in the future:
potatoes: staple at our house; definitely need some;
onions: this is also a staple; i use them in everything i cook;
garlic: same as onions;
butternut squash: this sustains us during the winter; planted some this year, but all died...
cucumbers: easy crop, but ours didn't come up this year; plant again in the future.
now when i look at this list, i'm amazed at how much we grew (not if i compare myself with most of my friends in CT, only if i consider my background).i'm also amazed that i care about this as much as i do, a "city slicker" like myself, as ed used to call me. but there's definitely something really cool about growing our own food. besides feeling more connected, as i said above, there's also a certain feeling of confidence in doing this. confidence in the sense that we can take care of ourselves, if need be, and don't have to be so dependent on supermarkets and that whole system of food production. having money and being able to buy things is great, but being able to produce our own food feels qualitatively different, somehow more fundamental.
next year i'd also like to get more into preserving food for the winter. this year, i froze tomatoes, which i will cook with, and ed made dried apple chips (which the kids love as a snack); we also dried some herbs, like basil, parsley and dill; but it would be fun to be able to preserve more, maybe do some canning. i haven't had the time to do this yet, but with the kids growing and becoming more independent, things may look different next year.... a root cellar would be great too, for preserving root vegetables like onions, carrots, potatoes, etc., but we'll need to buy a house first i guess.
this is probably way too much info for most people reading my blog. sorry, i got carried away....
so i am really excited these days, and it's for several reasons other than the weather:
first, the kids and i have been having a great time just doing our daily stuff. sena and aiyana have been playing well together (lately their favorite game is one in which aiyana is either a horse or a dog - there's much argument before deciding which one - and sena is a farmer); when they're not playing we've been doing little projects together. yesterday, for example, sena wanted to write a book, and i helped her. aiyana joined in and made her own book. sena's book is 6 pages long. first, she illustrated each page, and then, with my help, wrote the text. i suggested that we do one or two sentences per page, but she had a lot to say, so it ended up being more like a paragraph for the first few pages. she told me what she wanted to write, and i helped her figure out how to spell it, by sounding out the words. it went really well at first, but after about half hour, we both got tired and started to get frustrated. my thing is that when we're doing something, if it's not fun, we should stop doing it, so i tried to suggest that we stop and continue the next day, but she was really into it.... so we finished the page she was working on, and continued the rest today. aiyana only illustrated her book; she wanted to write something too, but she can't write any words yet, so she only made an "A", and an "O". anyway, they were both really proud and excited with their books when they were done today, and i am really excited too. it was a lot of fun, and i learned something as well: to respect their short attention span, as well as my own feelings.
the other thing i'm very excited about is our garden. last tuesday was fall equinox, and it got me thinking about what we grew and how it turned out. it's been so great having a garden, and this year was more productive than last. we are still learning a lot, of course, and probably will be for a long time. eating food that we grew ourselves has been pretty amazing (i say we, but really ed did all of the farming work, and i did mostly picking and cooking)... i still can't get over the "miracle" of a perfect pepper, or a tomato, or whatever it is that grows, seemingly, out of the dirt. i find it really humbling to think about what it took to grow our food, the soil, the water, the sun, the seed, our work, and how all of that combined and intertwined to produce something that sustains us. when i cook food from our garden, i feel like it's an act of reverence, and i do so with much more awareness and respect than i used to in the past. you know that saying "you are what you eat", i never quite got it before, but now i do. when i eat kale, for example, i feel that all of the things that it took for the kale to grow and flourish are now becoming part of me, and so i feel not only nourished, but more connected to everything around me - the earth, the sun, the water...
i made a list of everything we planted this year, and commented about what, if anything, we'd like to do differently in the future. here's what it looks like:
kale: this has been an amazing crop, it sustained us since spring. it's still going strong now;
carrots: had a good crop, but need to plant more; we all love them - the kids, esp. eat them raw out of the ground;
beets: same as carrots; kids eat them like candy;
basil: great, but had too much of it; made pesto and used in cooking;
dill: love it. i cook it in many dishes; the smell of it always reminds me of mamaia's cooking.
parsley: great crop this year;
beans: sena, ed and i love them; plant more next year;
peas: kids love them; had a lot, but could increase next year;
arugula: planted too much this year;
peppers: great, but slugs damaged lots of them before they had a chance to turn red...
zucchini: we didn't plant any this year, but had a volunteer plant which produced quite a bit...plant more next year;
lettuces: great crop, plant a little less maybe next year;
spinach: had enough this year;
tomatoes: great crop this year; froze lots for the winter; plant a little more next year;
corn: definitely need to plant more next year; we only had a about 15 plants, but they did great, and the kids love them.
here's what i think would be nice to add in the future:
potatoes: staple at our house; definitely need some;
onions: this is also a staple; i use them in everything i cook;
garlic: same as onions;
butternut squash: this sustains us during the winter; planted some this year, but all died...
cucumbers: easy crop, but ours didn't come up this year; plant again in the future.
now when i look at this list, i'm amazed at how much we grew (not if i compare myself with most of my friends in CT, only if i consider my background).i'm also amazed that i care about this as much as i do, a "city slicker" like myself, as ed used to call me. but there's definitely something really cool about growing our own food. besides feeling more connected, as i said above, there's also a certain feeling of confidence in doing this. confidence in the sense that we can take care of ourselves, if need be, and don't have to be so dependent on supermarkets and that whole system of food production. having money and being able to buy things is great, but being able to produce our own food feels qualitatively different, somehow more fundamental.
next year i'd also like to get more into preserving food for the winter. this year, i froze tomatoes, which i will cook with, and ed made dried apple chips (which the kids love as a snack); we also dried some herbs, like basil, parsley and dill; but it would be fun to be able to preserve more, maybe do some canning. i haven't had the time to do this yet, but with the kids growing and becoming more independent, things may look different next year.... a root cellar would be great too, for preserving root vegetables like onions, carrots, potatoes, etc., but we'll need to buy a house first i guess.
this is probably way too much info for most people reading my blog. sorry, i got carried away....
Monday, September 22, 2008
Happy Anniversary Joyce and Barry!
it was ed's parents' 40th wedding anniversary this sunday, so we (ed, i, chris and justina) had a surprise party for them. it was fun, especially since they really were surprised and seemed to enjoy themselves seeing so many friends and family.
we took this picture with everyone who was there:
we took this picture with everyone who was there:
Friday, September 19, 2008
taste organic
every year, we go to a festival called Taste Organic Connecticut. it's all about small organic farmers, and it takes place on a beautiful farm, in Coventry. there is excellent food, great live music, and lots of hanging out with people we know. there are crafts for the kids, a great swing, and lots of space for running around and being silly. this year they even had a singer just for kids, 'Jason the Bumblebee'. my kids loved him, and now ayiana wants him to come to her birthday party (in costume, of course). it turns out that he's a friend of our friends, so maybe i'll be able to arrange it...
anyway, here our some pics from the day:
Sena and Aiyana eating fresh corn-on-the-cob
reuniting with their friend Zephyr
trying out the hoola hoop
and riding in the chariot our friend Johnny made especially for this occasion
and finally, holding Tanah, Zephyr's little sister, while listening to 'jason the Bumblebee'. Sena was really pround of herself for holding Tanah; she was very gentle with her, and told me that she's ready for another baby...
peace
anyway, here our some pics from the day:
Sena and Aiyana eating fresh corn-on-the-cob
reuniting with their friend Zephyr
trying out the hoola hoop
and riding in the chariot our friend Johnny made especially for this occasion
and finally, holding Tanah, Zephyr's little sister, while listening to 'jason the Bumblebee'. Sena was really pround of herself for holding Tanah; she was very gentle with her, and told me that she's ready for another baby...
peace
the last time i saw mamaia
what a beautiful time a year! i love it. the sun is still strong during the day, the breeze is cool, the air is clear and comfortable, and the trees are turning their most beautiful colors just before they draw in for the winter. i always get a little melancholy at this time of year. i am flooded with good memories from the past. the cool mornings, the crisp air, the smell of burning leaves bring out scattered memories.
lately, it's been mostly memories of romania and of mamaia. last year at this time, we were in romania, and it was the last time i saw mamaia. i can hardly say that romania is my country any more, i don't even really know what that means. (what, or where, is my country?) but there's definitely something in me that still resonates when i'm in romania, even when i think about it. last year, for instance, i was a little apprehensive about going, especially with 2 small kids. the first night there was awful, and i felt totally out of place. but things got better really quickly, and i really enjoyed the rest of the trip. i felt that inner resonance with places and people, with the food, with different sights, sounds and smells. i felt it especially strong in the countryside, at moeciu, where we spent a few days; and by the end of our trip, i was surprised to find myself thinking that i'd even miss bucharest, with its crowds, traffic and dust.
i saw mamaia for the last time two days before we flew back to the US. we went ot visit some of our relatives together. they set a nice meal for us, and they treated us like honored guests. i think they were especially excited about having ed at their house, and being able to talk to him about different things. we spoke about romania, and about international politics. the conversation mostly took place between my cousin, ed and i. i remember mamaia sitting there with us, asking me to pass her the grapes every once in a while. she loved grapes and they were at their sweetest at that time. she seemed really content to be just sitting there and eating, surrounded by family, listening to a conversation that she could not understand. she was really proud of my cousin for speaking english fluently, for being able to carry out a lengthy conversation with ed. before we left my relatives' house, we took these pictures:
my aunt offered to drive us back home, and we accepted. she drove downtown first, to drop ed, the kids and i off, and then she was going to drive mamia to her house. mamaia, the kids and i were sqeezed in the back seat. we didn't speak much, but i think we all felt comfortable. just as we arrived downtown, we passed a couple of cars stopped on the side of the road, and a group of people standing around, looking. someone was lying on the road, and ed said he was dead. the accident must have just happened, there was barely any traffic... the whole thing disturbed me. i was still thinking about it when my aunt pulled over on the side of the street to let us out. it was a bad spot, kind of in the way of traffic, so i didn't want to keep her there very long. we got out of
the car quickly. i was worried about the kids walking into traffic, so i held on to them really tighlty while we said goodbye. mamaia didn't come out - we just said goodbye, and i closed her door. i don't remember if i gave her a kiss. ed told me that this could be the last time i see her, but i didn't feel like this was a good spot for a lengthy goodbye. my aunt pulled away, and i waved to mamaia. i remember her waving and smiling from the back seat.
the next day, we were supposed to go see my other grandmother, bunica, and them mamaia if we had time. we ended up having a lot of problems with money, so we made it to the nursing home bunica was at, but we never made it to mamaia's. after we got back to the US, i spoke to mamaia, and she said that she was sorry we didn't get to say goodbye properly. she didn't realize that she wouldn't see us again; she said she felt dumb for not coming out of the car to hug us. i told her that it was all good...
so now i'm thinking about all these things again... i'm so glad that we went to romania, and that i got to see mamaia before she died, that she was able to meet sena and aiyana. she seemed so content with life that last day we saw her. so i do feel like it's all good, but i'm still a little nostalgic.
i feel that i will definitely go back to romania someday, but if mamaia's not there, i'm afraid it will feel empty. bunica is still there, so i'd like to visit her again, but i know that seeing us doesn't mean nearly as much to her as it did to mamaia, so there's less pull for me to go. i also think it's going to be weird going to mamaia's apartment, and not having her there. i have so much attachment to her place... i was told that a neighbor still waters mamaia's plants, so they're still alive. i'd like to see them. i'd also like to bring back with me some of mamaia's things. although i don't know if they'd feel out of place at my house...
lately, it's been mostly memories of romania and of mamaia. last year at this time, we were in romania, and it was the last time i saw mamaia. i can hardly say that romania is my country any more, i don't even really know what that means. (what, or where, is my country?) but there's definitely something in me that still resonates when i'm in romania, even when i think about it. last year, for instance, i was a little apprehensive about going, especially with 2 small kids. the first night there was awful, and i felt totally out of place. but things got better really quickly, and i really enjoyed the rest of the trip. i felt that inner resonance with places and people, with the food, with different sights, sounds and smells. i felt it especially strong in the countryside, at moeciu, where we spent a few days; and by the end of our trip, i was surprised to find myself thinking that i'd even miss bucharest, with its crowds, traffic and dust.
i saw mamaia for the last time two days before we flew back to the US. we went ot visit some of our relatives together. they set a nice meal for us, and they treated us like honored guests. i think they were especially excited about having ed at their house, and being able to talk to him about different things. we spoke about romania, and about international politics. the conversation mostly took place between my cousin, ed and i. i remember mamaia sitting there with us, asking me to pass her the grapes every once in a while. she loved grapes and they were at their sweetest at that time. she seemed really content to be just sitting there and eating, surrounded by family, listening to a conversation that she could not understand. she was really proud of my cousin for speaking english fluently, for being able to carry out a lengthy conversation with ed. before we left my relatives' house, we took these pictures:
my aunt offered to drive us back home, and we accepted. she drove downtown first, to drop ed, the kids and i off, and then she was going to drive mamia to her house. mamaia, the kids and i were sqeezed in the back seat. we didn't speak much, but i think we all felt comfortable. just as we arrived downtown, we passed a couple of cars stopped on the side of the road, and a group of people standing around, looking. someone was lying on the road, and ed said he was dead. the accident must have just happened, there was barely any traffic... the whole thing disturbed me. i was still thinking about it when my aunt pulled over on the side of the street to let us out. it was a bad spot, kind of in the way of traffic, so i didn't want to keep her there very long. we got out of
the car quickly. i was worried about the kids walking into traffic, so i held on to them really tighlty while we said goodbye. mamaia didn't come out - we just said goodbye, and i closed her door. i don't remember if i gave her a kiss. ed told me that this could be the last time i see her, but i didn't feel like this was a good spot for a lengthy goodbye. my aunt pulled away, and i waved to mamaia. i remember her waving and smiling from the back seat.
the next day, we were supposed to go see my other grandmother, bunica, and them mamaia if we had time. we ended up having a lot of problems with money, so we made it to the nursing home bunica was at, but we never made it to mamaia's. after we got back to the US, i spoke to mamaia, and she said that she was sorry we didn't get to say goodbye properly. she didn't realize that she wouldn't see us again; she said she felt dumb for not coming out of the car to hug us. i told her that it was all good...
so now i'm thinking about all these things again... i'm so glad that we went to romania, and that i got to see mamaia before she died, that she was able to meet sena and aiyana. she seemed so content with life that last day we saw her. so i do feel like it's all good, but i'm still a little nostalgic.
i feel that i will definitely go back to romania someday, but if mamaia's not there, i'm afraid it will feel empty. bunica is still there, so i'd like to visit her again, but i know that seeing us doesn't mean nearly as much to her as it did to mamaia, so there's less pull for me to go. i also think it's going to be weird going to mamaia's apartment, and not having her there. i have so much attachment to her place... i was told that a neighbor still waters mamaia's plants, so they're still alive. i'd like to see them. i'd also like to bring back with me some of mamaia's things. although i don't know if they'd feel out of place at my house...
Friday, September 12, 2008
a little change
in view of respecting everyone's needs, i've been trying something different at night this week. i've been putting the kids to bed as usual (including our reading / story-telling/ song/ and talk-about-our-day routine), and then i've been getting up and hanging out with ed (when i didn't feel too tired). this seemed to be working well, except for the fact that aiyana usually came and joined us 5 minutes after i left the bedroom. this wasn't the original intention, but it actually turned out to be really nice, since aiyana has been very sweet and mellow, and a pleasure to be around at that time of night. she's mostly been doing her own thing after getting out of bed, so ed and i got a little time to talk anyway. i think she just really wants to be with us. another nice thing is that ed got to spend time with her as well, and he seems to really enjoy it.
i still feel like we need to find a way to spend more one-on-one time in our family. sena and i got a few moments alone last night, and it felt good to be together, focused on each other only. she told me that she really missed that...
i still feel like we need to find a way to spend more one-on-one time in our family. sena and i got a few moments alone last night, and it felt good to be together, focused on each other only. she told me that she really missed that...
Saturday, September 06, 2008
highlights from this week
what a week! here are some highlights:
on wednesday, i took sena and aiyana to their first gymnastics class. it was so much fun, we all loved it. i really didn't know how it was going to go; aiyana said she didn't want to participate at first, but then, about 1 minute after the class began, she joined right in. the class is really small, 6 kids with 2 coaches. they do one hour of fun stuff, using their bodies and all kids of equipment. the best thing, to me, was having sena and aiyana in the same class. they were so cute together, especially when aiyana was confused about something and sena gently guided or reassured her. i think they both feel more comfortable for being together. i also really liked the coaches, they seemed genuine and caring.
yesterday i went to a full day seminar for MAC. the seminar was called Results Based Accountability (RBA), and it was amazing. it was put together by the people who are funding the community project i'm working on, and it was meant to give people who attended some useful tools to make changes happen in communities. it was really inspiring to be there; there were 30 of us, and people seemed very dedicated and passionate about their work. at one point, i realized that in my 10 years of work at pratt, i don't think i ever felt such a high level of energy and enthusiasm around me. and most of these people are not even being paid, or if they are it's small compared to what the people at pratt were being paid. i guess it's just the nature of the work, and the kind of people it attracts. since there's little or no pay in grass-roots community work, the only thing that will draw you in has to be passion, or genuine interest and concern.
since i've been working with MAC, i also realized how big the discrepancy in funding is between projects like theis one, which are really trying to make a difference in the lives of families and children, which to me is fundamental to the well being of a society, and military projects, for intance. MAC has $40000 to work with, and this is a really big deal; yet i remember that when i was working at pratt on military engines, $40000 was nothing. we rutinely blew more than that on an engine test that took half a day to complete, for example.
it really shows where our priorities lie as a society. or maybe its just shows that people don't know/care/understand? i don't know...
so the seminar was amazing, and i have 3 more coming up. but it was so intense that i was exhausted by the end...
this morning, ed and i had some bad energy between us. it left both of us drained. he feels like he and i don't have enough time together, and i want to honor his feeling, but i don't really know what to do. he thinks that i should be more firm with the kids and have them spend some time by themselves, but i have a hard time pushing them away. they do spend time by themselves, playing or doing art, quite often, but it's not predictable, it just happens when they feel like it. if we try to make them do their own thing when we want to, they usually resist and become even more clingy and it turns into a mess. i'm having a hard time balancing everyone's needs... some people think that i'm too attached to the kids and vice-versa, but i have to say that on this one, i trust my own instincts more than anyone or anything else...
hopefuly ed and i will find something that works. it's really hard for everyone when we have this bad vibe going between us.
peace
on wednesday, i took sena and aiyana to their first gymnastics class. it was so much fun, we all loved it. i really didn't know how it was going to go; aiyana said she didn't want to participate at first, but then, about 1 minute after the class began, she joined right in. the class is really small, 6 kids with 2 coaches. they do one hour of fun stuff, using their bodies and all kids of equipment. the best thing, to me, was having sena and aiyana in the same class. they were so cute together, especially when aiyana was confused about something and sena gently guided or reassured her. i think they both feel more comfortable for being together. i also really liked the coaches, they seemed genuine and caring.
yesterday i went to a full day seminar for MAC. the seminar was called Results Based Accountability (RBA), and it was amazing. it was put together by the people who are funding the community project i'm working on, and it was meant to give people who attended some useful tools to make changes happen in communities. it was really inspiring to be there; there were 30 of us, and people seemed very dedicated and passionate about their work. at one point, i realized that in my 10 years of work at pratt, i don't think i ever felt such a high level of energy and enthusiasm around me. and most of these people are not even being paid, or if they are it's small compared to what the people at pratt were being paid. i guess it's just the nature of the work, and the kind of people it attracts. since there's little or no pay in grass-roots community work, the only thing that will draw you in has to be passion, or genuine interest and concern.
since i've been working with MAC, i also realized how big the discrepancy in funding is between projects like theis one, which are really trying to make a difference in the lives of families and children, which to me is fundamental to the well being of a society, and military projects, for intance. MAC has $40000 to work with, and this is a really big deal; yet i remember that when i was working at pratt on military engines, $40000 was nothing. we rutinely blew more than that on an engine test that took half a day to complete, for example.
it really shows where our priorities lie as a society. or maybe its just shows that people don't know/care/understand? i don't know...
so the seminar was amazing, and i have 3 more coming up. but it was so intense that i was exhausted by the end...
this morning, ed and i had some bad energy between us. it left both of us drained. he feels like he and i don't have enough time together, and i want to honor his feeling, but i don't really know what to do. he thinks that i should be more firm with the kids and have them spend some time by themselves, but i have a hard time pushing them away. they do spend time by themselves, playing or doing art, quite often, but it's not predictable, it just happens when they feel like it. if we try to make them do their own thing when we want to, they usually resist and become even more clingy and it turns into a mess. i'm having a hard time balancing everyone's needs... some people think that i'm too attached to the kids and vice-versa, but i have to say that on this one, i trust my own instincts more than anyone or anything else...
hopefuly ed and i will find something that works. it's really hard for everyone when we have this bad vibe going between us.
peace
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
another weekend at the beach
we went to the beach on sunday; ed and i came back monday afternoon, and the kids stayed until today. sena and aiyana love being there; they do so many things, and grandma and grandpa give them undivided attention, so it's a lot of fun for them.
this weekend, they rode their bikes in front of grandma's house
went for a ride in the canoe with ed, and later with grandpa
checked out the birds landing in the water through the spotting scope
i had fun too, seeing the kids enjoy themselves so much, and also spending a few quiet moments on the beach at sunset on sunday
i was watching this guy fish; he didn't catch anything while we were there, but i hope he enjoyed the beautiful surroundings as much as i did...
other than that, i've been a little emotional, prone to crying for no apparent reason, i guess just easily touched by things. coming home from the beach last night felt really good; our place is so peaceful and the weather's been so nice; it felt good to be able to give myself permission to be who i am, cry if i want to, or just sit outside and enjoy the breeze, without anyone asking for my attention...
this morning, i woke up to a woodpecker pecking at the apple tree near my window. then i had coffee outside looking over the field. that was really nice.
this weekend, they rode their bikes in front of grandma's house
went for a ride in the canoe with ed, and later with grandpa
checked out the birds landing in the water through the spotting scope
i had fun too, seeing the kids enjoy themselves so much, and also spending a few quiet moments on the beach at sunset on sunday
i was watching this guy fish; he didn't catch anything while we were there, but i hope he enjoyed the beautiful surroundings as much as i did...
other than that, i've been a little emotional, prone to crying for no apparent reason, i guess just easily touched by things. coming home from the beach last night felt really good; our place is so peaceful and the weather's been so nice; it felt good to be able to give myself permission to be who i am, cry if i want to, or just sit outside and enjoy the breeze, without anyone asking for my attention...
this morning, i woke up to a woodpecker pecking at the apple tree near my window. then i had coffee outside looking over the field. that was really nice.
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