news

i am expecting another baby. i'm at about 8 weeks right now, feeling very tired and nauseous most of the time. but this is my pattern, so i'm not surprised; i do hope that it will get better by 12 weeks, like it did with sena and aiyana. the pregnancy wasn't exactly planned (like most of my life), but it really wasn't a surprise either. ed and i were talking about having another baby, possibly, just throwing the idea back and forth. so now that i'm actually pregnant, i have a lot of feelings about it. i'm excited about having another baby. with two children, i always felt that maybe one more would be nice, but with three i feel that it's perfect. i'm also excited about the timing, because sena and aiyana will be (almost) 6 and 4 respectively, when the baby is born in September. i think those are really good ages in terms of being more independent, and also helpful. they are already super excited and want to do anything they can to help. i already put them in charge of hanging laundry, and sena does dishes after dinner sometimes; she also gets herself dressed and into her car seat when we're going somewhere, which is a great help to me, esp. now in the winter. aiyana is more dependent still, but she's trying. another very exciting thing for me, is that they both do quiet time a couple of hours every day, and i get to nap or rest during this time, which is a huge and allows me to function a little better in the evening. during quiet time, they play, do their workbooks, or draw in the living room. i still can't believe this is working out, but it's been a few weeks we've been doing it now, and so far so good.

my pregnancy is also providing a good homeschooling opportunity. sena and aiyana really want to know everything about the baby and how my body is changing, so we've been taking books out of the library, looking at pictures, and just talking about it a lot. sena already says that she wants to be at the birth and catch the baby, which i think would be great. i'm not sure if aiyana will be ready to witness anything that intense, so it may be better for her (and me) to be somewhere else, but we still got a while to go up to that time, so we'll see.
i'm also excited to be working with my midwives again. i'll be seeing them in a few weeks, and we already talked on the phone.

so there are a lot of positive feelings about this, but also a lot of ambivalence and some difficult feelings. sometimes, when my physical nausea and fatigue are especially strong, i find it hard to be in a good state of mind. this was especially true in Mexico, where i started experiencing a really unpleasant state. i just felt like nothing mattered, like there was no point to anything. even though my mind told me that of course there's a point to stuff, like doing things for my children for example, i just couldn't get myself to do anything, and could not shake that feeling of total apathy. my nausea was really strong over there, and i think that contributed to this awful feeling. since we've been back, i didn't experience anything like that; now i mostly get irritable, especially when i'm tired. sometimes i also get anxious about having a new baby. i know it will be hard no matter how helpful sena and aiyana are, and i don't want to expect too much from them, i don't want to burden them. i know there will be lack of sleep again, and all of that, and sometimes i get anxious about it.

but i realized that having all these feelings is ok, and more importantly i realized that i can hold them all: the excitement, the anxiety, and all the in-between.

peace

back home

i had some misgivings about coming back home, especially back to winter; but we've been back almost a week, and it feels amazing. i actually love the winter, it feels right to be here at this time, and i'm glad that i got to experience part of it before the coming of spring. being back feels good on many levels: seeing my family and friends; being back in our cozy house; having access to good food again (the food in Mexico tasted good, but our diet as vegetarians was quite limited, and also, i wasn't crazy about the way food was grown over there, with all the arificial fertilizers and pesticides); having some privacy again (in Mx, the people were very friendly and giving, but i found it hard to find silence or solitude when i needed them); and the kids have been more independent, confident and self-reliant it seems, since we got home, which is the opposite of what happened when we first got to Mexico, when they became pretty clingy and demanding.

since we came home, i met some friends who told me that they followed my blog when we were gone, and enjoyed reading it; i just want to say that sharing my experiences through my blog added a different dimension to my trip, and made it more exciting, and i am very thankful for the interest that you have shown.

last pictures from Mexico

just fooling around (wich is aiyana's trademark)


they ate insame amounts of raw carrots in mexico...i guess we'll have to up carrot production in our garden this year


el tule, the 2500-year-old tree


view of the tree relative to the church next door

Monte Alban

we finally went to visit the Zapotec ruins at Monte Alban on sunday. they date from around 500BC, and were very impressive. i was feeling tired in the morning and almost decided not to go, but i am really glad that i finally did. the place was very spacious and open, and it was easy to be there. there weren't many people (relative to the size of the site), so it felt like we had space and time to take everything in.

here are a few pics:

back to oaxaca

we're back in oaxaca for 4 nights before heading back to the US on tuesday. i am looking forward to 2 trips we're planning to take while here: to El Tule, a 2500 year-old cypress, and to Monte Alban, an important Zapotec ruin dating from 500BC.

today, the girls and i went out walking around the city in the morning, and we took these pictures:

this is the Pochote market, a small organic farmer's market. there were people selling produce, a couple of vendors selling excellent cooked food, and one woman selling plain, home-made yoghurt with no sugar added. i had given up on finding any yoghurt without tons of sugar added (even the kids refused to eat it, that's how sweet it was).


this funny tree had spikes all over its trunk


the girls enjoying their croissants and passion-fruit juice at the market


cathedral santo domingo, which we visited this morning. sena was very impressed with the gilded interior...

the fountain at our hotel. we're staying at hotel maela, which is excellent in all aspects, including location.

what i will miss about ixtlan

yesterday was our last day in ixtlan, and i'm already feeling how much i will miss certain things. things like:

the mountains
the juice bar
the cobbled stoned streets
walking everyhere, not needing a car
the safe, child-oriented environment
the market
the friendly, welcoming people
pablo's family
people's relaxed attitude about many things, especially time
the fiestas

from sena and aiyana

ed is in oaxaca today, and the kids and i are still in ixtlan. ed's been travelling between oaxaca and ixtlan since monday, and it's a little hard bc it takes him 2hrs each way. so tonight he will sleep in oaxaca at our new hotel, and tomorrow the kids and i will join him there. we will spend our remaining 6 days in oaxaca before flying back home.

sena and aiyana were missing ed this morning, so they made two drawings for him, to express how they feel:

here's aiyana's. she wrote: 'dada. love. sad. i love dada. aiyana. dada. ed. pelota (which means ball in spanish). we got a new ball.


and this is sena's. i think it's easier to read what she wrote so i won't rewrite it.

photo session, this morning

la boda (the wedding)

a while ago, our landlord pablo and his family invited us to a wedding they were supposed to attend. the wedding took place this past saturday. the girls were very excited about it, and ed and i were more curious than anything. in keeping with mexican time, we went about three hours late. at the last minute, pablo's daughter took us to a store nearby, where we each got a gift for the bride and groom. we were told not to give them money, since this is not done here, but instead to buy them a small gift of houseware. we got them a set of cups with saucers, which pablo and his family seemed to approve of. when we got to the wedding, which was just up the hill from our house, we went up to the bride and groom, who had no idea who we were, except for the fact that we were with pablo's family. we congratulated them and gave them the present. then we went to look for a place to sit. there were many people, hundreds maybe, sitting at tables spread out in the courtyard of a house, on a grass field directly in front of the house, and on the road passing in front of the house, which was now completely blocked. apparently this was not a problem...given the low trafic conditions, i guess... we sat and ate; there was tons of food, all served in styrofoam containers, styrofoam cups, etc. then, the music began. the grassy field was cleared of tables, and that became the dancefloor for the rest of the night. there was a band playing at first, then two more stages were set up for lter bands. the music was extra loud, which we are used to by now. regardless, everyone was having conversations, or at least trying, dancing, drinking, and just having a good time. a bunch of people that may or may not have been invited showed up and sat on a fence nearby, drinking and having a good time. nobody seemed to mind, to the contrary, they seemed entertained by the borrachios (drunks) who soon started to dance. lots of people were dancing, others were sitting down and looking at everyone else; everyone seemed really relaxed, enjoying the whole thing. ed and i had some one-onone dancing lessons from pablo's kids. sena and aiyana also danced and played the whole evening. after some hours, the cake was to be cut. we had stayed this late because aiyana really wanted to see the cake cutting. we were all tired by now. yet, the whole cutting thing seemed to be really involved. first two huge baskets filled with candy came out; the bride and groom walked among the crowd of guests throwing handfulls of candy out; each time they did that, there followed a mad stampede and all the candy was gone soon enough, our kids got tons, and were very excited. we told sena earlier that evening that she could make her own decision as to how much sugar to have. seeing how her eyes sparkled now, i wasn't sure this was a good approach. but amazingly, she only decided to have one piece of gum, and one candy, which aiyana also did. the cake wasn't coming out any time soon it seemed, so we decided to leave at that point. we were all exhausted so we fell asleep soon after we got home, even though the music blared for the the rest of the night. pablo and his family seemed really proud to give us this experience of the wedding, and i am grateful to them for it.

pablo and the kids waiting for the wedding party to pass by. sena and ayiana were really exciteda bout seeing the bride...


the wedding party coming down the street


sena, aiyana, jesus and pedrito, getting ready to eat at the party. see those red soda bottles? jesus and pedrito finished half of one in about 15 minutes. this is not uncommon here....


everybody dancing



and the kids played when taking a brake from dancing

boone hallberg

yesterday, ed and i had a couple of hours without the kids (they were with pablo's family), and we decided to go see boone hallberg. boone is a famous botanist, who's lived near here for the past 50 years. i first read about him in oliver sacks' book "oaxaca journal"; the next time i heard about him was when pablo took ed to visit him a few weeks ago. when ed told me about his visit (i had stayed home with the kids), i knew i had to meet him.

the man is 84 years old, and lives alone on a ranch with gorgeous views of the surrounding mountains, a few kilometers from ixtlan. his ranch is actually very humble, consisting of a large library room packed with all kinds of books (botany, anthropology, philosophy, etc), and a tiny bedroom with a small wood stove, a small simple bed, a table and 2 chairs.

when we arrived at his house yesterday it was raining, which is quite unusual at this time of year, so we spent most of the time inside his house talking. i was totally amazed and touched by his demoeanour, and his ways. he is obviously very knowledgeable about botany, agriculture, environment, politics, economics and many other tings; also, he is obviously famous, at least in his profession - we saw many books that reference his work, many letters from authors that wrote to thank him for his research and contributions; yet, he came across, in the way he spoke and behaved, as very humble, and very approachable; he was also very patient with us, given our ignorance on so many levels, and he took the time to explain everything we asked; he never used academic jargon or anything like that, yet i feel that he conveyed a lot of information to us, especially about mexican-american politics and economics, and about sustainable agriculture, which is what i was most interested in talking to him about.

a funny thing is that throughout our discussion with him, i felt so emotional, i almost started crying several times; maybe it was the open atmosphere; maybe it was just him, how real and unpretentious he was; and maybe it was also what he was saying, and how hopeless the situation can seem as far as how people treat the earth. he told us for example that here in mexico, there used to be many varieties of corn, which people grew everywhere without any chemicals; this has been the case for thousands of years; yet now, there are hardly any corn fields left (which we noticed); all the corn used here now comes from the US, and it's cheaper than what's grown here. that's because in the US corn is subsidized; it is also grown using chemical fertilizers, and other artificial means, it is of inferior nutritional value, it's unsustainable, and it is damaging the earth, the way it's grown. he showed us all these charts and pictures, showing the many varieties that used to grow here, now replaced by few mported ones. anyone who wants to grow corn here now is put in an impossible condition, where he won't be able to compete against the much cheaper american corn, which the mexican government promotes. boone says that the mexican government is protecting the interests of large corn growers in the US, as well as the fertilizer industry, while local corn growers are forced out of business, and the knowledge of how to grow corn sustainably is being lost.

he told us other stories like this, and i don't think he was being dramatic or fatalistic; he has half of century of experience and knowledge supporting his conclusions. yet, throughout our visit, he seemed happy, and mostly, he seemed at peace with things. he never gave the impression of complaining, even when he spoke of these trends which i found very depressing.

at the end of our visit, it was still raining, but we went for a walk around his property anyway. this was also very moving for me, as it was evident how much he loved his plants, and what a special relatonship he had developed with the land. this was definitely a highlight of our trip here, and i hope to visit with him again when we come back.

here are some pics taking at his house:

i think this one is most interesting. it shows the ancestor of corn, on the left, and the corn we're familiar with on the right. according to boone, native people produced the edible corn somehow starting with the original plant, but we still don't understand how. i didn't know this, but edible corn will not propagate by itself in the wild, and needs human intervention to replant it.

here are some wild corn ancestor plants, growing by Boone's house

daytrip to the cabañas

a few days ago, we took a daytrip back to the cabañas where we stayed when we first came to ixtlan. we knew there was a river there and wanted to spend some time by the water. here are some pictures from that day:

the river went into this cave, before coming out again on the other side of the mountain


sena and aiyana, playing with their newly received gifts from grandma


little waterfall


the swinging bridge we had to go over in order to cross the river

in the afternoon, we went to a different spot on the river, one that was shallower and easier for the kids to play in.

here is ed reading his book in the sun.

and this is the river

2008, 2009

i've been thinking about the past year, and the new one. i came up with a short summary of highlights from 2008, and a short list of ideas or things i'd like to devote some energy to in 2009:

2008:
mamaia died
homeschooling
volunteering with MAC
12 amazing women's circles
deepening connection with nature

2009:
continue cooking/bartering for friends and people i know
yoga
grow more of our own food

el dia de los reyes

yesterday, people in ixtlan celebrated the equivalent of santa clause at home. it was "three kings day" and it was all about the kids. there was a procession of kids marching through the streets, then a church service, and then evryone assembled at the basketball court, where there was a whole program and activities organized just for the kids (we only participated in this last event). there were clowns and people dressed funny, there was very loud music, and bouncy houses. there were treats given out to everyone: traditional sweet bread, fake-colored juices, jello, and other junk food. finally, everyone got in two huge lines, girls in one line, boys in another, and then, the presents came out. huge bags filled with toys, boxes of clothes, tons of stuff. the kids were extatic. everyone got a gift, or two, and everyone in ixtlan was there, so that was a lot of gifts. the municipio paid for everything, which is the norm over here.

i think this is a nice system, because all the kids get something of more or less equal value, regardless of their family's financial means (most people give their kids something else at home too, but those who can't afford to at least still get something at the town fiesta). sena and aiyana got a barbie (their first!) and a tea set each, and they were really happy. our landlord, whose brother is the president of ixtlan, gave us special treatment at the fiesta, getting the kids to be first in the gift line, and other stuff like that. it felt a bit weird, although we appreciated his generosity. we felt uncomfortable being so pampered, when we already feel pretty priviledged compared to most people over here...but i guess that was his way of honoring us as his guests. he and his family are very kind...

a couple of pics from the event:

pictures from an evening walk

hello down there...seemed to say this doggie from high up on a roof, as we passed on the street below


the street below...


i love the small cobble stone streets in ixtlan. cars can barely squeeze through, but they're just fine for people walking


people here often build their own houses themselves. there seem to be no codes or regulations that need to be followed, and as a result many homes look quite unique.

aiyana, enjoying the pretty orange flowers

one of the streets we took went high above the village. this is the view of ixtlan below.

ed and the girls looing at the mountains in the distance

aiyana wanted me to take this picture of her. she likes to pose, i think, and she never does a fake smile for the camera. she seems to be at ease posing and still being natural.

woman on the street

yesterday, as the girls and i headed out of the house, we saw an old woman in traditional dress coming up the street. i said "buenas dias" to her and she smiled at me and returned my greeting. her smile stayed, as she turned her eyes to sena and aiyana. she went over to aiyana, picked her up, and gave her a big hug. she did the same with sena, and then she came over to me. she took my hand in her hands and looked at me, wishing me happiness, then she also gave me a great big hug. she was only 4 ft tall, and a little stooped over, but her arms felt really strong around me. i actually felt very comforted by this woman's unexpected affection. her sincerity and openess, and the way her face lit up when she saw the kids reminded me of my grandmother, mamaia, and i felt emotional.

the other day i wrote how sometimes there seems to be no point to anything, but in situations like the one i just described, there is no need for a point. it's just a beautiful experience and that's enough.

daytrip to oaxaca

a couple of days ago, we decided to go on a daytrip to oaxaca city. ed wanted to look into some spanish classes, and the girls and i were excited to check out the art galleries, and the street scene, which is much different from here in ixtlan.

the ride down the mountain from ixtlan is 30km, and takes about 1hr. it was a hellish ride, and all of us were feeling sick by the end. there are so many curves as you come down the mountain, and the drivers are not exactly going slow. sena threw up as soon as we got out of the car. she was the lucky one, the rest of us just felt queasy the rest of the day.

once in oaxaca though, things got much better. there was tons of stuff going on, lots of tourists everywhere (which actually got overwhelming after a while), and street vendors with all types of interesting things. the girls had fun playing in a park, while i waited for my nausea to pass, and ed went to check on some schools. we had lunch at a place with good organic food, and later we had a decent vegetarian dinner at another restaurant. we were thinking of getting a hotel and spending the night in oaxaca, so that we didn't have to ride up the mountian the same day, but every hotel we checked was packed full, this being high season.

we had no option but to drive back the same night. we hired a taxi and asked the guy to drive slowly. he was really nice, did his best, but it was still a hard drive. we got home in the dark feeling nauseous, and went straight to sleep. i don't think we'll be taking daytrips to oaxaca anymore, but we'll be spening some time there before flying home at the end of our trip.

the girls, playing in Juarez park