Two events tomorrow: Empty the Tanks, and A Plastic Ocean

There are two events tomorrow, Saturday 5/13, that I wanted to let you know about. Sena and CSI Youth Group organized the first, and will be participating in the second:

1. A Plastic Ocean: free movie showing at the Mansfield Library, Buchanan Auditorium, 5pm
2. Third annual Empty the Tanks event in Mystic, CT (more details below)

Here are more details about Empty the Tanks, from an announcement by Cetacean Society International:

• Third annual Empty the Tanks event;
• Held outside Mystic Aquarium (Mystic, CT);
• Saturday, May 13th from 10 am to 2 pm.

This worldwide peaceful protest, created for bringing attention to the plight of captive cetaceans, potentially targets every marine park that keeps whales or dolphins. Started in 2013, Empty the Tanks is not a radical movement, but a peaceful educational event that sends a clear message to the industry while at the same time raising public awareness about the issue of captivity of cetaceans in the most positive manner. During past events, we gathered a crowd as diverse as it gets – kids as young as 7, teenagers and college students, adults of all ages, all from different backgrounds and professions. We all had one thing in common: the firm belief that whales and dolphins do not belong in tanks.

This year the Board of Directors of CSI officially endorsed Empty the Tanks, and we strongly encourage you to attend, and to spread the information about the event, so more people will join us.

For more information, see the article by CSI's Olga Pristin in the most recent "Whales Alive!" at http://csiwhalesalive.org/csi_empty_the_tanks.pdf

And here is a picture of me saying hi to a Beluga whale at Mystic Aquarium last year. I had been designated driver for CSI Youth Group, who were going to speak to the Education Director at Mystic Aquarium to advocate for whales in captivity. It was my first time there, and Sena and Aiyana's too. Of course it was amazing seeing the beautiful Belugas, they're so big and cute, and make your heart melt. But at the same time, when you think about what their natural environment is like, and see them in this tiny tank circling round and round, it's hard not to feel sorry for them. It's hard to deny that no amount of education or whatever other reason why they're put here is worthwhile their freedom and separation from their families.

 Peace

Morning ritual and my mom in Italy

I have a lovely morning ritual these days, which I'll share with you:
As soon as I get up, I make my coffee. When it's ready, I take my mug and journal and go out to the orchard. I sit there, in a hidden spot, all by myself. The trees are all in flower at this time of year, and the birds are chirping merrily, as if celebrating life. It smells so good, and it's so blissful! I drink my coffee and soak in the sights and sounds all around. Sometimes, I write poems or whatever I feel moved to in my journal. I feel so incredibly lucky to be able to start my day like this.

When I'm done, I go see the cows. I give them fresh pasture and water. I walk around the fields and see if anything needs tending to. I peek inside the greenhouse and water the plants in there. Then I make my way back to the house and get on with the rest of my day, homeschooling, cooking, doing field work, computer work, etc., whatever needs to get done.

And speaking of having a nice time, my mom is also enjoying herself quite a bit these days. She's in Italy, for 10 days, on vacation. She's with a tour, but it sounds like they get to spend time alone as well, which she likes. My mom is really into Roman and Greek antiquity (history, art, mythology, etc.), so that makes it even more special for her to be there. She's been to Italy and Greece in the past, and this time she's visiting Rome, Napoli, Sorrento, Pompeii, Capri, and is now on the Amalfi coast. I follow her journey on google maps and images, and wow, does it look beautiful over there! I am really glad for her. I told her to take some selfies and send them to me. I'll post if she does.

Before I end, I'll come back from daydreaming about Italy, to my farm. I'll post two pictures I took in the orchard tonight. I love the evening light so much. Those soft rays of the setting sun, coming out of the west, before everything becomes dark, are so comforting, and they make everything glow at its most beautiful. To me, that light seems like an embodiment of love.

Peace

Foo Fighters again

Two more great screaming songs from Foo Fighters I've been listening to:"Walk" and "The Pretender". Back in the 90s, I used to love their energy, but now I love that and the meaning behind their songs. Whenever I feel too weak to stand up for something, or to be true to myself, some of their songs are a great booster.




And here are full lyrics to "The Pretender":

Keep you in the dark
You know they all pretend
Keep you in the dark
And so it all began

Send in your skeletons
Sing as their bones go marching in, again
The need you buried deep
The secrets that you keep are ever ready
Are you ready?
I'm finished making sense
Done pleading ignorance
That whole defense

Spinning infinity, boy
The wheel is spinning me
It's never-ending, never-ending
Same old story

What if I say I'm not like the others?
What if I say I'm not just another one of your plays?
You're the pretender
What if I say I will never surrender?
What if I say I'm not like the others?
What if I say I'm not just another one of your plays?
You're the pretender
What if I say that I'll never surrender?

In time our soul untold
I'm just another soul for sale, oh well
The page is out of print
We are not permanent
We're temporary, temporary
Same old story

What if I say I'm not like the others?
What if I say I'm not just another one of your plays?
You're the pretender
What if I say that I'll never surrender?
What if I say I'm not like the others?
What if I say I'm not just another one of your plays?
You're the pretender
What if I say that I'll never surrender?

I'm the voice inside your head
You refuse to hear
I'm the face that you have to face
Mirrored in your stare
I'm what's left, I'm what's right
I'm the enemy
I'm the hand that will take you down
Bring you to your knees

So who are you?
Yeah, who are you?
Yeah, who are you?
Yeah, who are you?

Keep you in the dark
You know they all pretend

What if I say I'm not like the others?
What if I say I'm not just another one of your plays?
You're the pretender
What if I say I will never surrender?
What if I say I'm not like the others?
What if I say I'm not just another one of your plays?
You're the pretender
What if I say that I'll never surrender?

What if I say I'm not like the others?
(Keep you in the dark)
What if I say I'm not just another one of your plays?
(You know they all pretend)
You're the pretender
(Who dares)
What if I say I will never surrender?

What if I say I'm not like the others?
(Keep you in the dark)
What if I say I'm not just another one of your plays?
(You know they all pretend)
You're the pretender
(Who dares)
What if I say I will never surrender?

So who are you?
Yeah, who are you?
Yeah, who are you?

In the direction

Best of you, Foo Fighters

In case you need a screaming song:

"Everyone's got their chains to break

.....

Were you born to resist or be abused?
I swear I'll never give in
I refuse..."

Joy or lamentation?

This light within my heart,

That burns me day and night…

And if I tell you everything,
Don't ask if it's a song of joy,
or a song of lamentation.

And Shishkin: Before the storm

So pretty on the farm these days

The girls made wreaths for the cows to celebrate May Day.
Here are all our cows in one picture: lying down - Mama Opal (brown) and Mama Jasmine next to her, then Jupi and Jetty (Jasmine's calves). Standing are Opal's calves: Oshi, looking at us, and Oblio barely visible behind her. Opal, Jasmine and Oshi are all pregnant so we'll have 3 more calves this summer.

Sena and Aiyana putting wreaths on them.

The cows love dandelions. I love them too.

 Apple trees in bloom

 Violas and dandelions in the pasture

Peace

No Authority

Jar of maple syrup we sell at our farm. Collected and boiled by our friend Colin McMullan in Hamden, CT. Love his labels this year! This one in particular, I think goes with the lyrics to Show me how to live by Audioslave.

Peace

I will not mislead you

I will not mislead you

With false hopes and expectations.

If you want to walk this life

In trust and loving-kindness,

You will be hurt,

Deceived,

Run over,

Taken advantage of.

You will be pummeled.

And,

There’s no prize at the end of the road,

Other than the flickering light kept aglow

Within you.

That stubborn, contagious light.

A few will see you and love you.

Most will think you foolish, idealistic,

Crazy.

There is no prize.

But, if you harden

In response to the ways of the world,

You lose the only thing you ever had –

Your unmediated experience of life,

The only way of knowing beauty, and love,

Of knowing your own soul, and that of someone else.

The choice is yours,

Over and over again,

Every day.

And this, you must know:

Either way, it will be hard.

Either way, you will be hurt.

Orchard at sunset some AIC

Foggy morning on the farm

 

Tell me a story

I love stories and storytelling. When my sister and I were small, our grandmother, mamaia, would always tell us stories at bedtime. Some were from her life, others were made up by her, but it didn't matter to us, as long as she told a story. She'd lie down with us, and sometimes she'd fall asleep, after a full day's work, but we'd try to keep her awake and beg her, just one more story, tell us one more...

Mamaia's story telling, I realize now, was one of the experiences that bonded us together the most.

I also had this book, called "Stories that never die", and I loved it so much, especially on rainy days when we couldn't play outside, I sat and read for hours.

 

Tangled

It's raining today, but the cows are finally out on pasture, and the grass is getting greener and more lush every day, and they are so happy! All this rain, although depressing to many people, is good for the earth, and we'll be grateful for it the rest of the season.

Today I am harvesting, but mostly in the greenhouse, and I am glad for that. Before I go out though, I have a poem and a painting by another painter I recently discovered, Viktor Vasnetsov.

 

 

I remember the stories they told

when I was a child,

about swimming in lakes

with murky waters;

How if you got tangled

in the grasses and weeds

undulating in the depths,

you might get pulled under

and drown.

I don't know about lakes,

but I can tell you that this is a fine warning

about the thoughts in your own head,
and the feelings in your heart.

And yet-

to swim the murky waters,

of your own self, 

you must.

To have to struggle,

to know fear, darkness, loneliness

to learn that you can move through them...

How else could you be whole?
How else could you find love?

You must be tangled,

You must be lost,

You must be shattered

So you may know what's true,

So you may be of use.

Senator Flexer and plans for Nantucket

Last Saturday, CSI Youth Group met with CT State Senator Mae Flexer to talk about banning plastic bags.

Now, Sena is working hard to prepare for her upcoming engagement in Nantucket. She was invited to give a presentation and show the movie Sonic Sea at one, possibly two, schools in Nantucket, on May 15th.
Two NGO's gave money (CSI and Nantucket Marine Mammal Conservation Program) to hire a professional film crew to have the presentation recorded. And there's also talk of the radio station NPR coming to interview Sena.

Sena is really really excited with all this. A few weeks ago, after we watched A Plastic Ocean, Aiyana told me that after the movie, Sena was whispering to herself in bed "I will make a difference, I will make a difference...". And so she is, along with CSI Youth Group.

Ed will most likely take her to Nantucket. They will have free lodging and a tour of the island. If I went, I'd be sure to stop by the dump too. I heard it's crazy, the stuff people throw away on Nantucket, with all those billionaires living there... Hopefully after Sena goes, they'll be buying less and throwing away less....

Here's a line by Bukowski, which describes Sena so well: "There is no lie in her fire"

Peace

a dream and a painting

The dream is mine, the painting is by Shishkin. I recently discovered Shishkin and I love his work.

Remember when I saw you in that dream,

when I was 12 and you were ageless?

Remember the forest,

how you caught up with me,

and we never said a word -

There was no need,

because we knew.

Earth Day

Some pictures from the farm this rainy, beautiful, day.

Arugula and Mustard (below) going to seed in the greenhouse

 Other crops in the background are lettuces, carrots, peas and radishes

Peaches in bloom in the orchard

 The smell of hyacinths in the air

My heart is filled with beauty and sadness, I don't know if I can contain it all...
May we walk upon the earth in peace and gratitude.

Poetry and field work

These days, I read my poetry in the morning, and then I'm good to go for a while with my work out in the field. It's a nice combination.

Here are a few more excerpts from the Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam (Edward Fitzgerald translation)

 

Come, fill the Cup, and in the fire of Spring
Your Winter-garment of Repentance fling:
The Bird of Time has but a little way
To flutter--and the Bird is on the Wing. 

.... 

Oh, threats of Hell and Hopes of Paradise!
One thing at least is certain--This Life flies;
One thing is certain and the rest is Lies;
The Flower that once has blown for ever dies. 

...

I sent my Soul through the Invisible,
Some letter of that After-life to spell:
And by and by my Soul return'd to me,
And answer'd "I Myself am Heav'n and Hell:" 

....

And this I know: whether the one True Light
Kindle to Love, or Wrath-consume me quite,
One Flash of It within the Tavern caught
Better than in the Temple lost outright. 

Peace

Aiyana's Public Service Announcement

Aiyana went to the UConn radio station today (WHUS) to record a Public Service Announcement for a free movie showing CSI Youth Group is having on Saturday, May 13th, at the Mansfield Public Library at 5pm. The movie they will be showing is A Plastic Ocean.

Here is Aiyana's PSA.

Beautiful things that make me happy and inspire me

From The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam (trans. by Edward Fitzgerald)

“A book of verses underneath the bough

A flask of wine, a loaf of bread and thou

Beside me singing in the wilderness

And wilderness is paradise now.”

A painting by Kirill Vikentevich Lemoch: Congratulations

 

Homeschooling

Sena working on a book report

 Aiyana reading "Warriors don't cry", a book about school segregation in the 50s.

And our new lawn sign. Our town, Mansfield, has been welcoming refugees.

Peace

these moments

there are these moments of panic

when i realize,

just how alone we really are

and my usual tricks of

talking myself out of it

lose all power

and i pray that you...

won't you tell me that i'm wrong?

i need no proof

just to feel you care enough to want to change my mind

just to know that you want to...

 Peace

Easter Eggs

Sena, Aiyana and I had a lot of fun decorating these eggs. I made two, the rest was all them.
The eggs are white chicken eggs from our hens, which Sena and Aiyana pierced at top and bottom, and blew the insides out of. Then we decorated using dyes and wax. It's a painstaking process, but really fun and meditative. It reminds me of calligraphy, which we used to practice as children in Romania. You just get into it, and become focused and relaxed at the same time.

Herodotus

2500 years ago, Herodotus said: "Where wisdom is called for, force is of little use".

Yet here we are, still acting as if dropping a bigger bomb is going to solve our problems.

If I could only "Disarm you with a smile" (Smashing Pumpkins)...

Meeting with US Congressman Joe Courtney

On Tuesday, Sena, Aiyana and the rest of CSI Youth Group had a meeting with with Congressman Joe Courtney, to talk about protecting marine mammals and the ocean from seismic oil / natural gas drilling. Mapping the ocean floor in search of oil or gas is harmful to whales, dolphins, and many other species due to the high levels of noise involved, and the duration of the procedure.

Rep. Courtney was very friendly, answered all the girls' questions and said he'd bring the issue to his staff in Washington DC. He said he was impressed by how well prepared they were, and offered to show them around next time they're in Washington DC.

Today, Sena is meeting with the Town Manager and the Mair of Mansfield to talk about banning plastic bags.

On Saturday, she's going to Gloucester, MA, where she's part of the education team on a whale watching boat. We can barely keep up with her, but she is very happy doing all this. She says she loves being busy working to make a difference...

Sena and Aiyana, and many other kids who come from their heart don't know it, but what they're doing is, in Bukowski's words, "bringing their own light to the darkness". Their light is so strong. I'll do anything to keep it that way.



Peace

Give and give again

I was harvesting this morning for my farm sale (which will be tomorrow 4-7pm) and these little lines came into my head. Good excuse to take a little break and write them down, and stretch my back at the same time.

Bukowski

Good Morning, friends and family! Another beautiful spring day. I hope that you enjoy it, whatever you're doing today, just be present for a little while and feel how sweet a sunny day in spring can be. Do something a little silly or crazy, not for anyone else, just for yourself, to let yourself know that you're still you. I've been letting myself be silly lately, even though I know that some people around me judge me in not a favorable way. But I don't care, it feels good, and I'm not hurting anyone. I've been speaking to animals out loud when other people are around, even though I know most people think it's weird. But the animals like it. They come up to me and let me scratch them. And Sena and Aiyana laugh at me in a kind way, in a "mama you're so silly" way, not mean, so they encourage me to loosen up.

I hope you enjoy this poem as much as I did.

The Laughing Heart by Charles Bukowski

your life is your life
don’t let it be clubbed into dank submission.
be on the watch.
there are ways out.
there is light somewhere.
it may not be much light but
it beats the darkness.
be on the watch.
the gods will offer you chances.
know them.
take them.
you can’t beat death but
you can beat death in life, sometimes.
and the more often you learn to do it,
the more light there will be.
your life is your life.
know it while you have it.
you are marvelous
the gods wait to delight
in you.

Aflame

I am aflame!

I am enraptured,

and I believe.

Tell me anything,

Show me who you are,

And I promise,

I promise that I will!

I WILL see the good in you,

I WILL see behind those eyes,

behind what you say, and do,

behind that suffering...

My heart has been open,

This openness has no bounds.

Stretch out your hand!

Peace

Fish and dogs out of context

After my deliveries on Friday, I stopped by the Thames River in Groton. I like to be near the water whenever possible. It's a funny thing, but when I was about 10-11 years-old, I started referring to myself in the third person as "the fish", in conversation with my parents and sister. I would say to them "the fish thinks this, or the fish doesn't like that, and so on". I don't know why, it was weird to have picked a fish, and it didn't sound flattering or anything in Romanian. My mom and I still laugh about it, and Sena and Aiyana think it's crazy but funny that I would want to be called "the fish".
Well, anyway, at least one thing I know I have in common with a fish is that I am attracted to water... 

And since I'm talking about animals in a funny context, this morning I introduced Aiyana to Jane's Addiction "Been caught stealing". I used to dance to that song at Purple Haze, my favorite club in Montreal, in the 90s. I thought Aiyana would like the intro with the dogs barking, and she did.

Peace

Those who save us

I'm always writing something these days. I am inspired by everything in my life, the books I'm reading, current events, people, etc. I am happy to have this blog to share what I write, even though I'm always anxious and insecure about my writing, worrying that it's silly or too much or whatever. But I keep doing it because things just keep coming and it's mostly fun. And I know that my sister, mom, Sena and Aiyana like it.

CSI Youth Group met with State Representative Gregg Haddad

Sena's youth group met today with State Representative Gregg Haddad to discuss a ban on plastic bags for our town (Mansfield), and possibly at the state level. The girls were very happy with how the meeting went and with Rep. Haddad's support. Here are the two documents they brought to the meeting, summarizing their points and some facts behind the plastic bag ban:
Talking Points and Plastic Bag Ban Fact Sheet.

Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Rainy day today, the earth getting ready to turn green, and soon I will be out harvesting for my deliveries. But before I do that, it's nice to start off the day with coffee and a reading about one of my favorite books and authors: The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery.

Here is beautiful article by Maria Popova, and its message so badly needed still, on how we can connect with each other despite being put in difficult positions and labeled "enemy", "prisoner", "refugee", etc. Our shared humanity can transcend these labels and confinements, as illustrated in this true story from the life of Antoine de Saint-Exupery, author of The Little Prince.

And speaking of The Little Prince, one of my favorite books ever, it is now on exhibit at The Morgan Library and Museum in NYC. You can read more about Antoine de Saint-Exupery, the writing of The Little Prince, and see some of his original drawings for the book, here.
 
Peace

Yield

No choice but yield to - 

This primal knowing and connection,
This depth, hidden beneath minutiae and convention.

The fierce beauty of these dreams,  

rare flowers,

stubbornly emerging, again and again.

The pain and longing,

Inside of music, and poetry.

And this love.

Yield to
the blessing and the curse,

Yield to

the blessing inside the curse.

("rare flowers" comes from “Down in a hole” by Alice in Chains, which I listened to today, in remembrance of Layne Stanley)

One day

Burn

You wanted to feel love.

Then why, child, do you complain about the fire?

Don't you know that

to love is to burn that which cannot withstand flame,

and give away the rest?