a quote from Thoreau

"I believe in the forest, and in the meadow, and in the night in which the corn grows." 
~ Henry David Thoreau

So what ya giving?

been singing this to my tomato plants at the top of my voice recently, when working in the greenhouse. it's one of the benefits of not being in the office, around "normal" people. i can do whatever i want when i'm with my cows and tomato plants.

Unthought Known (Pearl Jam)

Feel the sky blanket you
With gems and rhinestones!!!
See the path cut by the moon
For you to walk on
For you to walk on...

See the path cut by the moon
For you to walk on
See the waves on distant shores
Awaiting your arrival

Dream the dreams of other men
You'll be no one's rival
Dream the dreams of others then
You will be no one's rival
You will be no one's rival...

A distant time, a distant space
That's where we're living
A distant time, a distant place
So what ya giving?
What ya giving?

Look for the helpers

I saw a quote once saying something like when there's a terrible event happening, always look for the helpers. Well, we've had a deluge of bad news recently it seems, with so much violence and suffering everywhere, so here's some good news. You have to look for the helpers, and in this case it is NRDC.
Thank you NRDC!

If you've seen "Sonic Sea" you have a little bit of an understanding of how disruptive and dangerous sonar use by the Navy is to whales, dolphins and other marine life. It disrupts their mating, feeding and often, it forces them to beach themselves and kills them. NRDC (Natural Resources Defence Council) and others working with them were able to get legislation to pass such that the Navy will not be able to use low frequency sonar for training, testing and other routine operations.

https://www.theguardian.com/…/us-navy-banned-from-using-son…

US Navy banned from using sonar that harms dolphins and walruses

Low-frequency sonar used for training and testing can injure whales and other marine life, and disrupt their feeding and mating

theguardian.com

Wild Geese by Mary Oliver, another favorite poet

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting –
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.
~ Mary Oliver

mid-july

why does mid-july always catch me by surprise? it happens every year, same story, then i forget.
this is the time when the big harvests start coming in: cucumbers, zucchini, tomatoes, garlic; the weeds are always on the verge of getting out of control; and basicaly there are not enough hours in the day to possibly keep up with everything. this week, to make things extra challenging, we have less help than usual because our farm manager is at a week-long permaculture course (which we're happy for him), and we do feel it, him not being here. this is also the cows' least favorite time of the year, temps in the high 80s and 90s and very humid. i feel for them, i'm not at my best in hot humid weather either, the only upside being that when the breeze comes in early morning and late afternoon, after being out all day, it feels so amazing...
also, this past weekend Aiyana broke her arm playing with her friends. they threw her up in the air because she was supposed to be a firework, and she landed on her wrist and broke her radius. she has a cast on which she will keep for 4 weeks. my mom also broke her leg about 4 weeks ago in Prince Edward Island. i hope we're done with the broken bones, please.

garlic, fresh out of the ground. so earthy...

peace

so inspiring, so cool

if you'd like to read some good news for a change, here's a very exciting and inspiring article about Bhutan.
two of my favorite highlights from the article:

• Bhutan is a country with negative carbon emission (amazing!)
• they abolished the concept of GDP (gross domestic product) in favor of GNH (gross national happiness) as a measure of how well their country is doing (how cool is that?)

and a great TED talk on this topic.

thank you to the people of  Bhutan, for setting such a great example on how to live sustainably, and happily, thank you for giving the rest of us hope and a path to follow.

peace

on marriage

everyone knows marriage is not easy.
i will give an example of why not. i think it will help me deal better and maybe it will be helpful to others too in recognizing that we're not alone. nobody really wants to talk much about the nitty-gritty, details of marriage. this is one of those details.

ed is very organized. i am not. he likes things to make sense and be orderly. he likes things to be put away where they came from. he likes the right lid to go on the right pot. this characteristic is in great part responsible for the success of our farm, and for the fact that everyone appreciates ed's work. when he does something he does it well. also, this characteristic, combined with my opposite, causes a real problem between us at times.

i am more of a hodgepodge kind of person. organization is not one of my strengths. i work with whatever i have and if i don't have the right lid for the right pot, i can use the wrong lid as long as it sort of fits, and i can make whatever i'm making in the pot. in general, i'll make do with what i have, it doesn't have to be perfect, or even near perfect, as long as it works. for example, everyone was horrified when i went to get new glasses recently, and they asked to see my old pair, and i pulled it out. it was the very first pair glasses i've ever had, since i was 22 years old, all bent and somewhat scratched, totally out of style, but they worked, so i never felt the need to change them. for some reason, this generated great interest at the eye doctor, and they passed my glasses around the office in disbelief.
the most notable exception to this hodgepodge characteristic is when i work with my plants out in the field, where i am the complete opposite.

as i was saying, ed's organization skills have served him and all of us well, the only problem being that he is never really fully satisfied. or not for very long. he has a hard time putting up with messiness or disorganization of any kind, or any kind of uncertainty. and let's face it, life is messy. for me, to be content and work with any situation comes much easier. not that i'm saying i'm right and he's wrong, you know...

anyway, the pot with a wrong lid became a problem this morning. i was making my coffee (i drink turkish coffee since my french press broke. i can adapt. now i use a pot), and ed saw that once again, i had the wrong lid on, and got cranky with me and gave me a mini lecture, because when you have the wrong lid stuff drips on the stove and messes it up and causes a fire hazard. and cleaning the stove is not one of my strengths either. me, i just wanted to make my coffee in any pot. i don't care what pot, or what lid, i just care about the coffee.
anyway, we had a short, tense exchange, and then silence. i felt like i will never be good enough for him, i've tried, but it's never enough. and you know what? i really don't want to be good enough any more. this rebellious part of me suddenly felt that i've tried long enough and hard enough, and still he's not satisfied, so from now on i'll use whatever damn lid i want. the first lid i can get my hands on.

after having my coffee in silence, i went outside to milk the cow. ed came to help, which i knew was an indirect apology. eventually he apologized with words too, not for the lid directly, but for being snappy. he hadn't had breakfast yet. that should be a rule, that we don't talk about anything before breakfast, and definitely not before my morning coffee. it's not like he said that from now on he won't care about the lid anymore, or about any of the other stuff that's not put away right, and so on. that will not change. and neither will the fact that organization is not my strength. so, somehow we got to learn to live with this difference. and many others. which at times, seem insurmountable. and at times, we just sort of forget about, or see the positive side of. i do sometimes appreciate that he likes his stuff organized, and he does sometimes appreciate that i can be heppy with whatever. and othertimes it drives us crazy.
that's how marriage is.

peace

laugh and cry at the same time

check out this little video, of a news reporter losing it and being honest. i'm not sure if the guy is a real reporter or a comedian. but it doesn't really matter, does it, because it is true.

Rocky Neck Beach

Yesterday, Sena, Aiyana and I went to Fiddleheads and Oyster Club down by the shore to deliver their weekly vegetable order. We got some snacks from Fiddleheads and headed to the beach for the rest of the day. I was so looking forward to being by the ocean again. I haven't gone since last summer, and after the craziness we had at the farm on Thursday, with the well and the pump, I felt like a day by the ocean with the girls would be lovely. I was not disappointed.

 Peace

Day in the life

Today was crazy!
Started off normal, going to milk the cows. Then, as Ed was filling their water trough, he noticed that the water pressure was very low and getting lower by the second. Soon enough there was no water pressure. This is our CSA day, when we really need water for washing and prepping all the vegetables we harvest to distribute to our CSA members. Not to mention that it was a million degrees out there in the field, super sticky and muggy, and drinking water would've been really nice. In any case, Ed said that either the well went dry, or the pump is busted. The well being dry would be worst case scenario; it would mean no water to irrigate crops and no water for the animals, until the well has a chance to refill, which could be who knows how long: days, weeks? Not good. The pump being busted is no fun either, about $1500-$2000, not a small expense on farm income. And all this just as I wrote in my last farm newsletter how lucky we are to have a good well.

But lucky we turned out to be in the end. We called in some pump guys to check things out, and it turned out that the well is not dry (phew), and the pump is not busted, but only a wire was burnt out, and it only cost $180 to fix (I mean only because I'm thinking in relative terms to what could've been).

So all ended well in the end, but I am still exhausted because it was stressful not knowing what's going to happen, and our routine was all messed up, and we needed to change plans for the workers, as far as who is doing what, who is harvesting, who is washing, or not washing, etc. And everything still had to be ready by 3 before customers arrived. And it was ready in the end. But I was done and I just had to crash into bed and let my mind rest for half an hour from it all, while Sena, Aiyana and Kristin were helping customers at the CSA. I recovered enough to appreciate the rain and thunder storm we got this afternoon. Beautiful, heavy rain, and lots of thunder. So grateful for the water!

Peace

tomatoes and milk

When I went to prune and tie the tomatoes this morning, I was stunned by how much they grew since last Friday. In only 4 days, they grew least 1ft on some of them. I wish Delfino was here to see them. He would've been really happy. Delfino worked with us for 5 years and he really cared about our plants. He taught us a lot and gave us a lot. He's now farming on his own farm, using some of the methods he learned working with us (such as how to grow without pesticides and chemical fertilizers). He is an amazing farmer, farmed his whole life since he was a child, and although he is much more experienced than us as a farmer in general, I am glad that we were also able to bring him something. We are grateful to him for everything he taught us, and for how he cared for our crops, and we wish him the best on his own farm.
Here are pictures of the tomatoes from Friday versus this morning:

And a picture of Jasmine's good milk. I got back into my morning milking routine after Jasmine had her calf, Jupiter, and although I must admit that I was a little anxious at first about the extra work this entails at this time of the year, it turns out that being with Jasmine and her calf every morning, just being in their gentle presence, more than makes up for any added work.

 Peace

Out of Africa

had an evening to myself and watched "out of africa" last night. i loved karen blixen's style since i first read her stories in the 90s, but had not read this book or watched this movie before. very beautiful.

Chek out our

July 2016 Shundahai Farm Newsletter

end of june

these are busy days. days of long hours, hot sun, and much to do on the farm. days of abundance, when the earth gives and gives. anxious days too - when will we get enough rain?

this is the time when a little walt whitman at the end of the day is all i can manage before i fall asleep, exhausted, in need of rest to ready my body for next day's work.

so grateful for beautiful poems that heal my soul
peace

Slaughter house

on friday, i found myself sitting in the car, in the parking lot of a slaughter house in Massachusetts, waiting for my chickens to be slaughtered. for a second, it occurred to me that this was such a strange place for me to find myself in; certainly 20 years ago i would not have conceived of being here. it felt like i was in a scene in an independent movie, or something unreal like that. but no, it was real enough. we raised meat birds this year, so that aiyana and i would have enough chicken to sustain us through the year (ed and sena are vegetarian).

the day before i brought them to slaughter, i felt that i needed to thank the chickens in some way for their lives, which i was about to take. i did not have any sage on hand (sage being the herb used in native american ceremony), so i used incense instead, and i made up my own little thank you ceremony.

even though i'm sorry to say that i don't feel too attached to the chickens (especially as compared to the cows, for instance), even so, taking their lives, being the one responsible, feels hard. one day they're here happily pecking around, and the next day i get them back from the slaughter house, where i brought them to be killed. it's hard but i am ok with it, fully acknowledging that i took their lives in order to nourish mine. one day my life will nourish others too.
i am also trying to minimize any waste; i told the slaughter house to give me the feet and organs, and i plan to use them in soups. the only thing they didn't give me was the heads, but next time i'll ask for that too.

last night as i lay in bed, i felt so incredibly lucky to have all this abundance: meat from the chickens, fruits and veggies in the field, milk from the cows; a plot of land to sustain us, a house to shelter us. The only reason I forget that this is so much more than most people around the world have, is because I live here in the land of possibility, the land of plenty, the land of nothing is ever enough. I get caught in all that along with everyone else, and forget how incredibly blessed we are.

peace

A woman I look up to

Jane Goodall's message to humanity. She is such an inspiration to me. I am grateful for her and for all the others who are trying to make a positive difference in the world, whether they are famous like she is, or "ordinary" people doing their share to help, despite their busy lives.

And speaking of inspiration, a friend from the lodge said last week:

Show your children that what you want, and what makes you happy, are simple things; things that don't cost anything, and that money cannot buy.

I've been going back to that over the past week and I think that it is a great message, because what our children see us desiring they end up desiring. If we show them that we need a fancy vacation, or an expensive new phone, or car or whatever it is to be satisfied, versus if they see us happy because we feel that we're lucky enough to step outside and greet another day; or because we have a meal in front of us; or because we appreciate the rain that falls on the earth; that will make a big difference in how the children grow up and what they desire themselves.
And all of that ties in to Jane's message below:

If you like her, check out her book "Reason for Hope". It's great.
Peace

Jupiter

Some recent pictures of the cows:

This was the first time Jupi, short for Jupiter, Jasmine's new bull calf, came outdoors, He spent 3 days in the birthing pen with mama and we let him out on Tuesday. Out into the sun, and fresh air, and green leaves on trees, and birds. As all other calves before him, his reaction to all of it was to run around, leaping in the air and sprinting with joy. Once in a while he stopped to let everyone in the heard catch up to him and sniff him, as they got to know him.  The herd accepted him, and now they're all in the process of re-establishing rules of conduct in the herd. 

Mama Jasmine with her new baby and Jet, her baby from last year.

Jupiter and mama Jasmine; that's the electric fence in the foreground, something Jupi had to get to know, at a painful price, but necessary one. The electric fence is indispensable in a rotational grazing system, ie if you want to be able to move the cows to new pasture every day. It gives them a zap if they touch it, but they learn to respect it quickly and rarely touch it. Unfortunately with the new calves, they have no idea what iut is, and we have to watch them get zapped until they learn it. They're smart though, they learn fast.

I often think of this

especially when it comes to genetic engineering, like CRISPR, now being used in various places in the world, which allows scientists to alter the genetic code of any living being, be it animal, vegetable, human or anything with a genetic code.

Summer Solstice: How to hold all this together

Yesterday, our cow Jasmine had her new calf, a strong little one, who stood up and nursed vigorously soon after birth. It was easy to see the strong force of life in this new being that entered the world.
It's hard not to feel joyful and hopeful when witnessing that. And then when the calf, just barely born starts skipping and is so playful and exuberant, how can one not feel that life is good? Why else would a new being that just came into the world be so happy?

And yet, at the same time, I am oppressed by the feeling that we are living in such unsettling times. The world is so restless and there is so much suffering and violence, so much misunderstanding and pain across the world,  as well as in people's private lives.

I wonder how to hold all this together: the beauty and the ugliness, the hope and the desperation; the light and the darkness.

I have no answer, but somehow we must hold it together. This is the way of things. And what better reminder than summer solstice - tomorrow, the longest day of the year, containing within itself the seeds of darkness which will now start to grow.

Here's Jasmine's baby nursing for the first time, soon after birth. We don't know how soon, because she gave birth by herself. We had been checking on her throughout the morning, and then around 3 o'clock we came in and there was the baby; we think it was at most an hour after birth. You can see in this picture, her placenta isn't even out yet.

Peace

Sena started her own organization to help whales

Sena started a children's group to help whales. Aiyana offered to help. They came up with a list of kids that they thought would be focused and motivated enough to help; they also made up a list of topics they wanted to address. For the first meeting, which was last Monday, Sena wrote the agenda, while Aiyana took meeting minutes and was time keeper. They typed up action items together after the meeting. Adults were told to be involved only as drivers, and as resource material when asked.

It was really great seeing these kids together. Apparently the meeting went well, and their first big action item is to go to Mystic Aquarium and convince them to end their Beluga captivity program. All the kids have research and other work to do in preparation for this event.

They inspire me so much!

Sena set up her room before the meeting

A whale was watching from an open book on her desk

I was allowed to come in and take a picture during the meeting

After the meeting, they played outside. Here is the group.

Peace

A Message

Here is a message I'd like to share from Bert, a friend, teacher and spiritual leader I highly respect. Bert is a psychologist, plumber, mechanic, electrician, and spiritual teacher. He is an amazing human, soft-spoken, gentle and humble, and I am grateful for any time I can spend in his company at the sweat lodge ceremony, which is where I know him from. He was prompted to email this by the shooting in Orlando, but as you'll see, it applies to everything.

I just want to pray for our society gone astray. We could and should be a society that encourages, heals, helps all to succeed and realize all that we have within. We can do that . We have the skills. We have the resources to help all grow to be wholesome adults. However, we have a societal cancer, a greed that has overtaken our humanity. In the name of business and financial success, the rich are getting richer, and the poor are being kept poor by a system functioning to keep things this way. Politicians are basically bought by the highest bidder. Our TV shows so many violent programs and theaters sell out with violent movies. We were once a nation who truly aided other nations in need. We still do to a degree, but now much of that "aid" is really aiding our own corporations providing goods and services and weapons to other countries. Well, you get the idea. Who to blame? the government? the media? the rich? the poor? the members of religious groups? The blame falls on all our shoulders. WE all participate in this system, and are so busy trying to lead out lives that we often forget about promoting peace.
        It is time to promote peace. Peace at all levels. Peace in the cities, Peace in our hearts, Peace among the young, Peace gained by communication and dialogue with all parts of our society, and with all nations.  Peace is aided by prayer. It works. It helps. What can we each do every day to promote a little peace? What can we do to promote a lot of peace? Do we reach out?
        I certainly fall into thinking too much about my own needs and wishes, and get caught up in daily life,  and I apologize for that. It is too easy for me to get busy with work, stuff, distraction. hard to focus and put my skills to work for the People. It is time to work harder at it. A teacher ( I think it was Marc Edmund Jones) said;"life is lived in the small things". Some of us can do big things, and most of us can do small things. Hopefully lots of them.

I would also add, regarding prayer, that if you pray, in whatever way you feel moved to pray, whether it be ritualized, formal prayer, or just a wish in your heart, pray for the victims, but also for the killers. Pray for those who suffer, whether at the hands of others, or through their own inner turmoil. Pray for those who are violent and destructive, that they find their own peace and whatever they may need to be gentler, kinder, more at peace with themselves and the world.

Peace

Out in the cow pasture at sunset today

 And a quote by Hafez:

One regret dear world, that I am

determined not to have when I am lying

on my deathbed is that  I did not kiss you

enough.

Peace

Life can be like that

You start out like a new shoot in spring: fresh, full of vigor and possibility

 And the road is wide open ahead of you

But at some point, you may feel pulled to veer off the set path, and as you wonder off you may find a lovely place. Here, you must decide whether to take the plunge into the deep waters or watch from the shore.

You take the plunge, and it can be joyful and carefree for a while.

And everything seems clear.

But the skies are bound to cloud over.

The storm will come, the rain will pour, and thunder will strike. If you're lucky, you may find shelter in your soul connection.

Eventually, the rain will stop and the sky will be patches of dark and bright, and you will know that this is also how it is within you, patches of dark and light, and it is all right.

That has been my experience, and those pictures, which I took last night, fit it just right.
Peace

Take Just Enough

A Wendell Berry quote, from Home Economics:

Ignorance of when to stop is  a modern epidemic; it is the basis of "industrial progress" and "economic growth". The most obvious practical result of this ignorance is a critical disproportion of scale between the scale of human enterprises and their sources in nature.

So true. In capitalist society, we almost never question the idea of "economic growth". Instead we expect it and if it doesn't happen to the extent we desire, economists and politicians tell us we should be worried and do something to make it happen. To what end, and for how long? And what supports this "growth"?

We are taught to be good consumers: consume and dispose, consume and dispose, not because we need to, but because somehow we're supposed to keep up the pace with the industry and provide a market for their products. We are trash generators. Where does all the trash go? Where do all the raw materials come from? Why is it that we can buy such cheap trinkets at the dollar store, if not because some company figured out yet another way to exploit the earth and some underprivileged people to make that trinket for far less than what it's worth?

There is a solution for this destructive cycle of consumption and trash generation. Cut down your own consumption. Don't get a new plastic bag each time you go to the store, bring your own instead. Instead of single-use plastic, paper or styrofoam food containers, use something that you can re-use. Buy things second hand, giving them another round.

Don't go along with what the advertising industry tells you you "need". Figure it out on your own. What do you really need? And when you think of the price you pay for a product, don't just look at the numbers on the price tag. Think about what where the raw materials came from; what it took to get them out; where they will go when you throw it away; what kind of labor was used to produce it. If it's food, think about what it will mean for your long term health and medical bills; include all of that in the price, the real price, and then figure out if it's still worth it for you to buy this product.

We are the consumers; we are what drives the rape of the earth, not the industries that sell us the stuff. I don't use the word rape lightly. When you drill countless holes into the ocean floor, I think that's rape. When you clear cut and mine deep into the earth's crust, I call that rape. Fracking, that's rape.

But we can help slow this down with the simple act of reducing our consumption. This can have huge ramifications, and those who profit from the current state of unchecked consumption will not like it. But future generations will thank us for it. And out soul will thank us.

I will end with one of my favorite bumper sticker quotes: "Take Just Enough".

Peace

A walk in the woods

This place looks magical to me

Where will the path take you?

 Hey there, little guy!

Little hands, littler toad.

Aiyana found a tortoise shell in the woods. Not only is it beautiful, but I was also glad for another reason. Aiyana's been having a hard time falling asleep at night, and been afraid of various things at that time. When she found the shell I told her that this was a gift from the forest and that it will help her. We looked it up on the internet, and it turns out that in Native American tradition, tortoise shell medicine is health and longevity. When I told this to Aiyana she asked me whether it was true, and I honestly said I don't know. But I told her that often what you believe ends up being true, at least for you. So I left it up to her, but she hasn't come to me with any more questions, and I think she does take comfort from having the shell. She likes it and thinks it's beautiful, and also seems to be less afraid.

Peace

Aiyana's dog sitting business

Aiyana started her own dog-sitting business recently. She's always been the most perceptive of all of us with animals, and she's been saying for a few years now that she wants to be a vet (and go to Tufts!), so this business idea was not a surprise.
Her first official customer was Duke, my sister's dog. He stayed over for 3 nights and everything went very well. Duke is very gentle and kind, but also very nervous, because before my sister got him, he had been through some pretty significant trauma with his previous owners, although we don't know exactly what. Even though he was only about 1 year old when she got him, and he's now been with my sister's family over 5 years, he is still so afraid, especially when encountering new situations or people. Someone must've really hurt him and it is so sad to think of what might've happened to this gentle soul, and the fact that he can't even say anyting about it. But we all give him lots of love and affection, and he's really lucky to have my sister's family now, and so his situation is as good as it can be at this point in his life.

In the past, Aiyana also dogsat for our good friend Yo-Yo who passed away this last winter. He was very special too, and he loved to eat, which is what ended up killing him. He ate a squirrel and some bones got impacted in his intestines and he did not survive the operation. Because he was a little overweight, Yo was on a diet, and the little guy always begged for food. Now I wish I had given him more treats when he was at our house, because that's what made him happy... Everyone who met Yo (short for Yoda) fell in love with him, and he truly fit his name: wise, playful and quite silly at times.
This is one of my favorite pictures of Aiyana and Yo back in 2014.

Peace