Slaughter house

on friday, i found myself sitting in the car, in the parking lot of a slaughter house in Massachusetts, waiting for my chickens to be slaughtered. for a second, it occurred to me that this was such a strange place for me to find myself in; certainly 20 years ago i would not have conceived of being here. it felt like i was in a scene in an independent movie, or something unreal like that. but no, it was real enough. we raised meat birds this year, so that aiyana and i would have enough chicken to sustain us through the year (ed and sena are vegetarian).

the day before i brought them to slaughter, i felt that i needed to thank the chickens in some way for their lives, which i was about to take. i did not have any sage on hand (sage being the herb used in native american ceremony), so i used incense instead, and i made up my own little thank you ceremony.

even though i'm sorry to say that i don't feel too attached to the chickens (especially as compared to the cows, for instance), even so, taking their lives, being the one responsible, feels hard. one day they're here happily pecking around, and the next day i get them back from the slaughter house, where i brought them to be killed. it's hard but i am ok with it, fully acknowledging that i took their lives in order to nourish mine. one day my life will nourish others too.
i am also trying to minimize any waste; i told the slaughter house to give me the feet and organs, and i plan to use them in soups. the only thing they didn't give me was the heads, but next time i'll ask for that too.

last night as i lay in bed, i felt so incredibly lucky to have all this abundance: meat from the chickens, fruits and veggies in the field, milk from the cows; a plot of land to sustain us, a house to shelter us. The only reason I forget that this is so much more than most people around the world have, is because I live here in the land of possibility, the land of plenty, the land of nothing is ever enough. I get caught in all that along with everyone else, and forget how incredibly blessed we are.

peace