Perfecting the art of the living contradiction.

Thursday, April 08, 2010

my sweet Aiyana

with Doctor, the coolest cat ever



peace

Wednesday, April 07, 2010

mushrooms, etc.

Wow, I just finished eating the most heavenly dish: shiitake mushrooms, (my own shiitake mushrooms!), sautéed in butter, with garlic and a little salt. I didn’t even share it with anyone, which I do feel a little guilty about, but I did enjoy it so much… Well, the good news is that there are plenty more mushrooms where these babies came from. I am so excited! My mushroom logs are fruiting like crazy after the last heavy rains we had a week or so again. I love mushrooms, I love how they taste, and I love thinking of how amazing they are, with their mycelium like a vast network connecting everything in the forest.

Yesterday I was at the co-op and I noticed that a pound of shiitakes sells for almost $15. And I must add that my shiitakes kick butt to those, because they’re fresh from my backyard and not transported all the way from Pensylvania. All right, enough bragging. I just get over the top with these things.

Other good news is that our old field is planted to almost full capacity, and things are coming up and looking good. The greenhouse is also looking good, but I need to be transplanting stuff in the ground, especially the scallions and onions because they’re starting to get too big for the soil blocks.

Unfortunately, yesterday Ed hid a rock when he was plowing our soon-to-be berry patch and the engine stopped and there’s a big hole in the bottom of our BCS tractor now. It is not good timing at all for this to be happening. We need the tiller for our new field and for the berry patch, and we had lots of work planned for this week and next. Now we’ll have to wait to have it fixed, which should be about 2 weeks. I was stressed about it yesterday, because stuff needs to go in the ground, but then I realized that we may be ok just prepping a few beds by hand for the stuff that really needs to go in in the next two weeks. Anita said that we should get used to these setbacks and it was good to hear that coming from someone as experienced as she is.

Our CSA is doing very well; we’re getting close to being full. We only want to take on 25 members this year, given that we also plan to do 2 or possibly 3 markets. Ed and I will have to work non-stop to keep this all going, which is pretty much what we’ve been doing already. We work so much now that Sena started complaining that we don’t have enough family time. We’re trying to figure out a way to have one day where it’s just the 4 of us and we’re not doing work in the house, or on the house or in the fields. But I don’t know if that’s realistic for this year. In any case, I do feel like we’re together all the time, but she is right that we’ve been spending less time just hanging out and relaxing lately.

Sometimes all this work feels hard; but I’ve been thinking to myself, what else would I rather be doing? And the answer is really clear, at least for now, that there’s nothing else I want and nowhere else I want to be (well, OK, i guess i wouldn't mind sitting at the cafe and sipping coffee with a good book once in a while, but you can only do that for so long...).

peace

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

rain! lots of rain.

the weather's been a bit intense this week...we got about 7 inches of rain on monday and tuesday. i was worried as i watched my plants be drenched and then submerged in water. ed said not to worry about things we can't control. he always has to make so much sense! he said the same thing to me one time when we were in an airplane, experiencing a lot, i mean A LOT, of turbulence. i did not appreciate his comment then, even though he was right. especially since sena was with us. but this time, it was actually useful. nothing i can do about the rain, so i was able to let go a little when i thought about it that way. anyway, it stopped raining and the rest of the week is supposed to be beautiful. hopefully no major damage to the crops in the field. we'll see.

last night was my yoga night and aiyana wanted to come with me. i had some misgivings, but i finally said yes. she was amazing, and it was so special to have her practice with me. it's a one-and-a-half-hour class, and she was totally quiet and respectful the whole time. she just watched and did the postures as best as she could, and when she got tired she just sat there quietly. she wants to come again, and i am looking forward to it.

sometimes i just feel like everything is so amazing, and we get so used to it, and we forget and fail to appreciate it. i try to remind myself to take in this special time with my kids, to be awake at this special time in my life, when we have so much richness, and so much to be thankful for. i try to remind myself of this when i start getting too wound up, and mislead by little details.

peace

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Happy Spring!!!

I’ve been so busy lately - I haven’t been posting as often as I used to…

Ed and I have been working hard taking advantage of the warming weather; we’ve been working in the old and new fields, preparing one and planting in the other. Ed plowed and tilled the new field, and we all picked up stones and cleaned it up; Ed has to till again, and we should be ready to plant there in a couple of weeks.

We’ve been also working the old field, the field we used last year for growing everything. What a difference a year makes! The soil in this field is so easy to work with now; relatively weed free and stone free, and in much better condition than the new field. We got a soil test done on both fields, and the results show a dramatic improvement in the old field, from all the compost and rock powders, and the general care we devoted to it over the last year. It’s a little hard having to start all over again in our new field, but it is encouraging to know how big a difference a year can make.

We’re still using our old field this season while we’re getting the other one ready. We already planted lots of things there: lettuces, spinach, peas, carrots, chard, and radishes, turnips, and more is to come. Since the soil is in so much better shape than last year, we decided to try no-till on part of this field. Up to now, we always tilled as part of preparing our beds for planting. But our long term goal is to minimize tillage, or any practice that involves the use of heavy machinery; tillage in particular damages the biology of the soil, which is obvious, when you see the dead worms, chopped in half by the tiller. We try to encourage a thriving biology in the soil, because that’s crucial to soil and plant health, and so we want to avoid tilling. We did about half the beds we planted so far without the tiller; we used a broadfork instead, which is a manual way of gently digging and aerating the soil. Of course it takes much longer and requires more effort than using the tiller. But we’re experimenting right now, and I want to see if there is any short term benefit from planting a crop with and without the tiller. I already know the long term benefits weigh in for no-tilling.

The greenhouse and hoop tunnels have been pretty intense these past 2 weeks. With temperatures being in the 60’s during the day, temps in the greenhouse and under the tunnels were getting in the 90’s, so we needed to vent everything. At night, temperatures have been dropping to low 20’s and so we had to make sure everything was covered. So it’s been a lot of cover / uncover with both the greenhouse and the tunnels, and sometimes it feels like that’s all I’m doing, especially now that we have over 20 tunnels in the field already.

My parents were here a couple of weeks ago, and we got them involved in everything we’ve been doing. They helped de-stone the fields, and my dad helped with our car, while my mom pretty much took charge of cooking and dish-washing which was a huge help. I love working outside, and it’s where I prefer to be, but I have a hard time when I’m done and tired, and I come into the house, and have to cook, clean, wash dishes…it’s hard to do it all. The food especially, I would love to have food ready for me to eat when I come in tired, as opposed to having to cook it myself. I do love to cook, but not when I’m tired and hungry.
I’ve definitely let go of the house in a big way, and it’s a conscious decision. I need to focus on the field and the children, if we want to make a living farming.

I heard a comment that seemed appropriate for my situation, by a woman farmer, in the movie “Fresh”. She said “If you want to come and see me, come any time. If you’re coming to see my house, take an appointment”. That’s where I’m at. I’m letting go of everything but the essentials (cooking) as far as the house goes. I’m hoping that Sena will soon be able to take on more responsibility too. Already, she makes her own breakfast in the morning (except for using the stove, which I want Ed or I to be there for). Yesterday, I showed her how to make pasta (which I actually hope we don’t have to eat too often, since I really don’t like pasta and I don’t like feeding it to my family). She’s also very helpful with chopping vegetables, getting them ready for me to cook. I feel good about giving the kids more responsibility, you can see that it makes them proud of themselves to see how much they can help, and they mostly enjoy it.

This week, I’ve had more positive feedback from customers regarding our farm and CSA. I pretty much thrive on that. I love to work hard and grow beautiful vegetables and know that the people who eat them enjoye them.

So, I’ll just end by saying that even though it’s been hard juggling everything, I keep thinking that if I love this farming life enough, eventually I will learn what I need to learn, and I will get to know the soil and the plants well enough, and everything will work out. Lately, when do yoga, or simply relax before falling asleep at night, I feel a wave of well-being washing over me, and I just have to smile, because I feel so good about the little plants I put in the ground, and so connected to them. It's like they're my little children.

peace

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

sick children

sena and aiyana were both sick last week. it's been a little rough, especially for aiyana who got an ear infection at the end. sena's never had one in her life, and aiyana only had one last year while we were in mexico, so we're not used to them. she was crying in pain, and i tried all the remedies i knew: hot oil with garlic, hot and cold compresses and some homeopathic remedies. what woked best for her were cold compresses and pulsatilla. i'm glad we're done with that now...

things are coming along great on the farm - we got a lot of things in the ground last week, and the seedling in the greenhouse are also doing well. we've been getting quite a few CSA applications in the mail and it's all very exciting.

more later...
for now, check out the pictures of my cute sick children:

this is sena. she wasn't feeling well, and i had work to do in the field, so she made herself this little shelter right out on the grass close to where i was working, and rested there.



and this is aiyana, with a fever. not even reading about horses could cheer her up....


peace

Monday, March 15, 2010

Fresh - the movie

saw an excellent movie this weekend (first movie i've seen on big screen since Sena was born 6 yrs ago...). the name of the movie was Fresh and it took a look at food, industrial agriculture, and the local/sustainable movement. it was a lot like Michael Pollan's book "The omnivore's dilemma", and in fact Michael Pollan himself was in it, along with at least one farmer from his book.

i liked the movie because it condensed some important issues which affect all of us in a nice format, and most of all i liked that it ended on a positive note, making one feel empowered to deal with these issues as opposed to simply depressed or overwhelmed by the knowledge.

peace

spinach

this is our over-wintered spinach. i planted it last october, and it grew a bit last fall, then it stayed put under the plastic tunnels, waiting for the return of the light. it's been growing strong again since early february.


peace

Sunday, March 14, 2010

CSA response

we had excellent response to our CSA so far. some people have already signed up, and many more showed interest. we gave out a lot of pamphlets already, and i can't believe the whole thing started only last thursday (i mean that's when we first put out our info to the public). anyway, yesterday we went to the market to tell people about the CSA, and that went really well too. we also brought some spinach and eggs to sell, and we sold out of everything in about 15 minutes. it was a little embarrassing, but we had not planned on doing markets this early in the season. well, we should have more soon, if everything goes well. the greenhouse is going strong, and last friday ed and i planted spinach and peas in the ground.
i feel so good being outside again, close to the land.

peace

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

farm website

we got a website for our farm. it's really simple, but it's up and running. check it out at under "my links" on the right of this page.

peace

Tuesday, March 09, 2010

slideshow of this past weekend

this past weekend i spoke about conscious consumption and food consciousness at a women's gathering in hartford. there were two other speakers: a naturopath who spoke on earth medicine, and a woman who spoke on self-care. the event began with one woman leading the rest of us through a short yoga practice, and ended with another woman drumming while the rest of us danced.

the celebration was held at Fire-n-Spice vegan restaurant and the food was unbeleivable.

it was all so lovely! one woman was there taking pictures and captured it all beautifully. here's a link to the slideshow she put together (click on Celebrations and then International Women's Day). i'm the person with the patch skirt and brown top and doc martins.

peace

Monday, March 08, 2010

goat on a leash

took shaman out for a walk this weekend. heidi's got nothing on us.


peace

the greenhouse

this morning

lettuce seedlings

scallions

cabbage

peace

Saturday, March 06, 2010

tomorrow

tomorrow i'm supposed to speak at a gathering for International Women's Day. my topic is "conscious consumption", and more specifically "food consciousness". i am very excited. it's a huge topic, and i feel like i can take it into so many directions, but i worked on it and was able to focus it to about 20 minutes speaking time. there will be a lot of interesting women there, and i look forward to sharing with them.

peace

Friday, March 05, 2010

website help

ed and i want to put together a really simple website for our farm, just so people can find us on the web if they wish. i don't have much time to spend on this, and have no web programming experience; also, we can't afford to pay someone to design one for us. so i'm wondering if anyone knows an easy way to create a webpage, i'm thinking something similar to creating a blog, which i was able to set up quickly, by myself, without having any experience. if you do know of anything along these lines, would you please let me know?

thank you!
peace

Thursday, March 04, 2010

busy

i have been so busy lately - i feel a little crazy right now. but it's all good, all very positive, just a lot of it. and the growing season has barely just begun!

things are going well in the greenhouse. many of the scallions have sprouted, and so have the cabbages. onions have yet to come up.

the house is coming along too. interior walls are being put up right now. sena and aiyana's room is pretty much finished, and so is mine and ed's. we got another johnnie (who's also a capenter and a friend) working with ed and johnnie right now, so things are moving fast with the three of them.

i finally got the taxes in the mail. that lifted a lot off my shoulders. doing them was painful. so many forms to fill, now that we have the farm, and the jargon is so outrageous, i had to read each sentence over at least 5 times...

this coming season, ed and i will be doing 3 farmers' markets: storrs, ashford, and another one which is yet to be determined. we also plan to open a farm stand at our house, and we are starting a CSA (Community Supported Agriculture). putting all of this together is so exciting, SO exciting, and so overwhelming, at times. we're working hard on figuring out what our CSA will look like, and we'd like to finalize things by next week. we've also been making signs for our farm, and for our market tent, etc. etc.
busy!

peace

Monday, March 01, 2010

how exciting

a snowdrop i planted last fall just poked its beautiful head out of the ground

and my scallions have sprouted too, in the greenhouse

peace

goats

ed, sena, aiyana, and i put up the goat fence on saturday. on sunday, we picked up the goats from our friends' house. the girls were really excited, but the goats were a little stressed with the move. they seemed to settle down when we put them in their new pen though, and started chewing on brush and bitterseweet right away. that was nice to see.
we plan to move them to new ground every month or so, so they should have planty of fresh stuff to eat, and hopefuly they'll help clear the brushy mess that's on that part of our land.

here's shaman (his name is actually shamus, but the kids keep calling him shaman, so shaman it is)

and folly

and vera, who's pregnant

peace

Friday, February 26, 2010

spring is coming

i know that you can't tell by looking outside, at least if you live in CT, but spring is surely coming! i've been noticing more and more birds singing in the morning; and yesterday, i was so excited when i checked the hoop tunnels in our old field: our over-wintered spinach is cranking under there, it's green and big and gorgeous looking. i had no idea what to expect, and i did not check in a very long time bc the plastic has been frozen to the ground, but yesterday, when i saw it, i was dancing with exciteement.

i also checked the mushroom logs, and they seem to be cranking too, with lots of little pinheads showing all over. after all this rain, i think we'll have some mushrooms, and the slugs would better not eat them all again!

the greenhouse is already full, and yesterday i could not contain my curiosity, so i dug out one of the scallion seeds i planted at the beginning of this month, and it is germinating! so any day now, the scallions should be poking their heads out of the soil.

i felt so inspired and encouraged by all this, that last night i finally sat down and figured out my crop rotation, i.e., which crop should follow which, and which should be planted next to which. i had been putting this off for a while, since it's complicated enought to get my head spinning, but i finally got it down on paper last night, at least for the first few months.

now we just have to wait for the ground to defrost, and then dry out before ed can plow and till, and then we're ready to plant.
exciting times!

peace

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

i have been so busy with all kinds of little things lately! my head feels very scattered jumping from one thing to the next and i really don't like it. i feel tight and out of breath.

one thing that's been very calming, has been crochet, because it allows me to relax while still having a focus. being in the greenhouse also works. it got to 90F (about 32C) in there last saturday. a little hot for my taste...

anyway, here are some pics that make me laugh (and laughing is always a good thing)

aiyana's pretty much always in costume. yesterday she was an "evil" witch. she was trying to look evil, but i think she was just cute.

i'm scared....

i made this hat yesterday

crazy nut

peace

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Sevin (only one of many!) - let this speak for itself

Sevin is the third-most-utilized insecticide in the United States for home gardens, commercial agriculture, forestry and rangeland, according to this wikipedia article.

ed and i know several farmers at the markets we go to, who sell conventional fruits and vegetables, and use sevin routinely.

sevin (referred to by its scientific name Carbaryl) is toxic to humans, animals, and of course insects. i personally do not want it sprayed on my food, or anywhere near where i live. just quoting from the wikipedia article mentioned above:

Carbaryl is a cholinesterase inhibitor and is toxic to humans. It is classified as a likely human carcinogen by the United States Environmental Protection Agency (EPA.) It kills various beneficial insect and crustacean species along with intended pest victims, so care must be taken when spraying where beneficial nontarget species are present. Carbaryl is acutely toxic to honeybees, destroying colonies of bees foraging in an area where the chemical has been applied.
Carbaryl is illegal in several countries, including the United Kingdom, Austria, Denmark, Sweden, Germany and Angola.

don't want to bore you with too much technical data (which is easily available on the web), but i'll just say that if you look at the Carbaryl Insecticide Hazard Data, you may be pretty scared that this is what's being sprayed on your food. this is what's being put in the environment, the air we breathe, the water we drink. etc.

another chemical i hear about a lot (mainly in converations w other farmers) is Roundup. it is a widely used herbicide. same kind of deal as Sevin, as far as health concerns and environmental concerns. you can find out more info in this wikipedia article.

if you're concerned about this at all, i'd suggest that the next time you're buying food at the grocery store, or market, or wherever you shop, you consider making a different choice, maybe buying food that was grown without these harmful chemicals. that does not automatically imply that you have to buy organic. it may be possible to speak to the vendor, and find out about the practices that the growers use. ed and i, for instance, are not certified organic, and we do not use any chemicals to grow our food. many other growers operate the same way.

just thought i'd share something i'm becoming more aware of myself...
peace

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

this morning

fun in the snow with julia and uncle ricardo. check it out here.

farm updates

our chickens have been laying between 12 and 15 eggs a day recently, which is very exciting. i love it each time we take another step to becoming self-sufficient. we have enough for ourselves now, and some to give away. eventually we plan to sell them at the market too.

here is a view of the chicken coops ed made. they are movable - in fact, he moves them every other day, so the chickens are always on fresh grass. they are in the run during the day, especially if there's no snow on the ground, and at night they get into the coop, which you can't see in the picture, but is attached at the end of the run. the coop gives them shelter from weather and potential predators (which we have plenty of around here).

progress in greenhouse: ed and i have been making soilblocks, and my dad helped this weekend when he and my mom came to visit. it was so warm in there, and pleasant. we're almost running out of room though...i guess we'll be needing a bigger one next year....

peace

the girls and i

i've been really into crochet lately. the girls and i got into it a few weeks ago, and i love it. last time i did it i must've been 6 or 7. mamaia used to crochet, and i learned from her. i didn't think i'd remember anything, and my head definitely didn't remember, but my hands did. as soon as i picked up the hook, i knew how to do it again. so i've been having lots of fun. my first project was these hats for sena and aiyana. they picked their own wool, and i just worked it.

here's the three of us hanging out on the couch

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

no fear

today is my birthday, and it's been a wonderful day already. ed went to work on the new house early as usual (6 or 7 am, i don't know, i'm not usually up), then he came back just before i got up and he and the girls made me breakfast. they had my coffee and english muffin ready on the table. after i ate, the girls gave me their presents. aiyana gave me this pillow that we've had for a couple of years. i use it every night when i lie down with them to read before bed. it was her pillow initially, and she figured that i really liked it, so she gave it to me as a present. isn't that sweet?
she and sena also gave me cards they made. aiyana drew a smiling woman with long brown hair. she drew rain and lightning around her, and she told me that the woman is not afraid, because she's Mother Earth. i thought, how appropriate, given that "no fear" has been my theme lately. i've been dealing with some anxiety, and "no fear" is the only cure, so i keep reminding myself...

sena made me two cards with beautiful artwork, and sweet wishes in them. she also sew a decoration for me.

i also got some lovely cards from my cousin in germany, and ed's grandfather, and my sister and ricardo. people have been emailing and calling to wish me a happy birthday.

i feel really blessed to have these sweet, simple gifts in my life. it's a beautiful day.

peace

Monday, February 08, 2010

i've been working in the greenhouse

these are pictures of the greenhouse being put together by ed and i a few weeks ago





and finally, planting....


i've already made 500 soil blocks, and seeded them with scallions. more scallions planned for tomorrow, then onions and cabbage next week, and lettuces the week after that. then, in march things will really start to get busy. i love it, i've been waiting and planning for this all winter and now i can actually do something. not to mention that i love being in the greenhouse. it's so warm and sunny and pleasant in there, and i'm usually working by myself, just me and the plants, which feels special.

i think we're getting these goats

we're talking of getting goats to clear brush. we'd like to bring some new land into production for next year, but we need it cleared first and goats are very good at that. plus, they'll bring fertility to the farm, and we can milk them. we drink goat's milk, and i've made paneer out of it too, which is great. anyway, it just happens that some of our friends are thinking of selling their goats, so it's perfect. two females, and a male, and one female is pregnant and will give birth in april.

on saturday, we went to our friends' house to feed and water the goats - just practicing, i guess...
these are Shamus and Vera (Vera is pregnant)

and this is Folly

they're oberhossies, a swiss type of goat. that's about all i know....

Wednesday, February 03, 2010

some before and after

i was speaking to my friend Maf on the phone a few days ago, and she really wanted to see pics of the house. so here are some, of the outside.

this was what the front of the house looked like. the porch was in really bad shape, so ed and jonnie removed it.

this was the side of the house that you can see from the road

this is the same side after ed resided it. he's just putting up the last piece of siding in this picture.

and this is what the house looks like now, all sided, new windows in place, and scaffolding removed. there's still lots of junk (like that tank) lying around, but we'll remove it once construction is over.

the inside of the house is still pretty much bare beams right now. we just got the insulation yesterday, so that will go in soon. ed's making progress with wiring, and jonnie put up some boards where the walls will be. i'll post some before-and-after pictures, when we have a little more of an after.

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

Happy Birth

my sister gave birth yesterday to another beautiful little girl. little Stella was born at home, and everything went very well. my sister and ricardo looked great when i saw them, about 1.5hrs after the birth, and again today. julia is very excited about being a big sister.
ceck out their blog for pics.

peace, and Happy Groundhog Day!

Friday, January 29, 2010

girls!

we had some snow yesterday - and lots of play outside

sena, aiyana, and their friends clara and giovanna, who we homeschool with, played their recorders this week. they're learning their notes, and bryan is the teacher (and also the only one who can take the high pitched noise. i left - had to go outside for a break...)

aiyana is not afraid to laugh. here, sena was being funny, pretending to be a dog, and aiyana was in hysterics.

check out aiyana's style in these pictures. i love how she combines clothes - she has no restrictions as far as color, types of clothes, accessories. she follows no rules, but does as she pleases. she's so free and playful - i love it.

and that stuff around the her mouth is jam from breakfast. i think the goggles are a bit tight on her - check out her left eye...

peace

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

house updates

ed finished plumbing for the whole house, and is now working on the electrical. jonnie's made progress with the insulation, and as of yesterday, he started preparations for putting up interior walls. the house is really starting to look livable. and it's beautiful. we're very excited.

we decided that we'd move in April 1st. some things won't be done by then, but we think that the major stuff will be, and the rest, ed and jonnie can work on after we're already in there. ed and i are relieved to have set a date for the move - that makes it easier to plan the farming stuff. ed's getting into farming again, which is great. he's talking about plowing 20 beds in february, which will be great, since i need to plant in march. the greenhouse is all set up, and next week i will be starting onion and scallion seedling in there. i'm excited! i love being in the greenhouse, it's nice and warm, and it's still like being outside...

i'm planning to go to some antique and second hand stores looking for light fixtures and other stuff we may need for the house. i'm not into shopping at all, but i think i can get into it a little bit for this. we'll see.

peace

Friday, January 22, 2010

Boogie Street

ed took sena and aiyana to gymnastics yesterday, and, after i finished cooking i sat and listen to leonard cohen's "ten new songs". what a treat! i sat there, in the dark, transported by the music.right now, i feel a particularl connection with "Boogie Street" - the lyrics and music are amazing. here are the lyrics, and i'm sure you can find the music online if you're interested.


O Crown of Light, O Darkened One,
I never thought we’d meet.
You kiss my lips, and then it’s done:
I’m back on Boogie Street.

A sip of wine, a cigarette,
And then it’s time to go
I tidied up the kitchenette;
I tuned the old banjo.
I’m wanted at the traffic-jam.
They’re saving me a seat.
I’m what I am, and what I am,
Is back on Boogie Street.

And O my love, I still recall
The pleasures that we knew;
The rivers and the waterfall,
Wherein I bathed with you.
Bewildered by your beauty there,
I’d kneel to dry your feet.
By such instructions you prepare
A man for Boogie Street.

O Crown of Light, O Darkened One…

So come, my friends, be not afraid.
We are so lightly here.
It is in love that we are made;
In love we disappear.
Though all the maps of blood and flesh
Are posted on the door,
There’s no one who has told us yet
What Boogie Street is for.

O Crown of Light, O Darkened One,
I never thought we’d meet.
You kiss my lips, and then it’s done:
I’m back on Boogie Street.

A sip of wine, a cigarette,
And then it’s time to go…

loose tooth finally fell out

sena lost her first tooth yesterday. she was so excited! it had been loose for a couple of weeks, and she could barely wait for it to fall out. when it finally did, i gave her a special stone, which was the present she wanted from the tooth fairy. we're really honest with the kids in general, and so we told them the truth about the tooth fairy and santa and the rest. they still enjoy receiving presents from these characters, even though they know it's really us. anyway, last night, sena put her special stone under her pillow. then, before she fell asleep, she said to me "mama, tomorrow morning if i have two things under my pillow, i'll know that there's a real tooth fairy." it was so sweet, and i had to struggle against getting up in the middle of the night to put something else under there, just to keep the magic going. she seemed to want that...anyway, i guess ed had the same idea, because when sena got up this morning, there was another thing under her pillow, another pretty stone, but she guessed right away that it was from ed...

so, here's a picture of the missing tooth (and i don't know why that gray bar appears at the bottom of my pics, i think my USB drive may be corrupted)




last night, before going to bed, we were talking about learning. referring to math in particular, sena said to me "inside my head, i already know all these things, but i need someone to teach me, then they come out". i love that - it's simple and beautiful and so true.

peace

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

a quote

i cannot believe how well this describes the way i feel these days. i was writing earlier about being very happy, and this sums up why i feel this way. anyway, here it is:

"The best things in life are nearest: Breath in your nostrils, light in your eyes, flowers at your feet, duties at your hand, the path of right just before you. Then do not grasp at the stars, but do life's plain, common work as it comes, certain that daily duties and daily bread are the sweetest things in life." - Robert louis Stevenson

isn't that lovely? i think that to be able to appreciate and enjoy the mundane, is such a gift, and i feel blessed to have it.
(thanks for sharing, jennifer....)

peace

the joy of mundane things

i've been feeling really, really good lately, full of energy, and just very happy with things in general. things are great with the kids, and ed and i have been working together on the greenhouse and other farming projects, and getting along well. i told ed that this is the first time that we're working together on something that we're both into just as much. usually, i find that if we're working on something that one of us is more into than the other, there's bound to be some conflict and frustration. that's why i generally prefer to work alone. but with farming, things have been good so far. we work on many tasks together, but at the same tome we do have our individual tasks within that bigger tasks, so in the end it feels like we get our own space, but still cooperate towards whatever it is we're trying to accomplish. hopefuly this will continue...

i've come to respect ed more than ever now that i see up close how he works and how he does things in general. he's very hard-working, and has great work ethic. he does things well and does not cut any corners. he's really honest (too honest sometimes), and that also translates to the way he works. he's also very handy and can make anything out of anything, which for me is almost miraculous since i am so not handy. he's really good at building things and fixing things, and he has really practical ideas. he's always been really highly regarding in all his jobs, be it engineering, surveying, and i'm sure that even when he was a dealer at the casino, way back when, he was good at it (although he hated it). anyway, i can see why people liked him as a worker, and it's really nice that he can finally apply his energy and talents to something we both care so much about.

anyway, on a different topic:
ed thought that we should start a blog for our farm. the idea is to have a space where people can check what's going on at the moment, and in general, get an idea of our philosophy, or approach to farming and to life in general. i'm not sure if we should start a whole new blog, or just kind of make it part of this blog, since i seem to be writing mostly about farming anyway. and i would not want to contribute to 2 blogs, i already feel like i'm spending too much time on the computer, and i'd like to limit my time to no more than 2 hours a week. anyway, for now, we decided that ed could post his stuff here, and later we'll see if we need to start something else. he wrote something about the kids this past weekend (this is not farm related), so i'll post it here:

January 17, 2010
The other day Aiyana was helping to look for eggs in the chicken houses. Some of the hens were in the laying boxes, Aiyana just reached right in with both hands and felt around underneath them. One of the hens started to flap her wings and ended up walking across Aiyana’s shoulder, continuing to flap her wings. Aiyana’s reaction, “Ohh Myyyyy!” She is quite fearless with animals, maybe too fearless, something she gets from me. Sena would not have liked this episode, she doesn’t like getting close to the chickens when they are in their coop.

Sena has been doing amazing, with almost everything she does. She is very good at gymnastics, doing headstands, indefinitely, and handstands, for 8 seconds. Her speech, for years now, has been unbelievably articulate. Her word choices when speaking on the phone are more proper than I would ever come up with. I see her working for the UN when she is 30. Her desire to be read to and her desire to learn to read are inspiring.

Aiyana, crazia, I see her being a rock star. Also, most days, she mentions she’ll have horses when she is an adult.

aiyana




aiyana and i have been spending some time together, just the two of us. she is so much fun to be with, so easygoing, and so funny. she'll always say or do something crazy and unexpected, to make me laugh. or she'll just say something so sweet and innocent that i just have to squeeze her in my arms. she's really full of joy and a pleasure to be around. she used to be so fussy as a baby, crying a lot, and very demanding. but she's come to be so different now, happy and full of joy...

Thursday, January 14, 2010

kind of started

today the girls and i went to the stone quarry to fill sandbags. we're setting up our greenhouse this weekend. it will be a full, walk-in greenhouse, about 12ft wide by 40 ft long. we'll be covering it with plastic, and weighing the plastic down with sandbags. i'm planting my first seedlings the first week of february. i'm so ready to start.... today it felt like we almost did.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Thursday, January 07, 2010

Lhasa

i can't get over the news that Lhasa is dead. i've been thinking of her nonstop since i heard the news, and i woke up this morning with her on my mind. how terribly sad. she was such a beautiful person, you could just tell even without meeting her. i'm sure that she touched the hearts of so many people. what a loss for all of us.
i have this feeling that she knew this was coming long before she was sick, that she almost welcomed it, based on some of her lyrics, or the way i interpreted them.

if you haven't heard her music, i recommend it most highly, just be ready to have your heart broken and lifted all at the same time.

i hope she is at peace.

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

exciting

i'm almost done with my seed order. i finished all the vegetables and flowers, but i'm not done with berries yet. i also finished the potato order, but i still need to do the tools and soil amendments...
in any case, i am very excited today, i can already picture how beautiful our land will look next season with everything planted and (hopefuly) doing well. i'm especially looking forward to my flower garden. i picked out different seeds (edible flowers, beneficial insect attracting flowers, cutting flowers, etc.), and i think they will look beautiful togther.

peace

love to read

sena's been reading more and more on her own. she can read level 1 books with minimal or no help, and she's generally trying her reading skills on anything she comes accross. the book she's reading here is heidi, one of her favorites.



aiyana has her own version of reading, which consists mainly of sounding out the letters in words, or reciting the story she's "reading" from memory

peace

Monday, January 04, 2010

some uncertainty

i've been spending lots of time going through seed catalogs, putting together orders for seeds and other stuff we'll need for next season ( rock powders, etc.).
the big question right now is when will ed and jonnie be done with the house. that will determine when ed will be able to devote significant time and effort to the farming operation. our next year in farming will look very different depending on whether i'm working alone, or wether ed will work with me, especially at the beginning. it makesd me a little anxious, things being so up in the air. but ed's full time on the house right now, and that makes the most sense for him to be doing. he really is working hard, so we'll just have to wait and see where he is in 4 weeks from now, and hopefuly then we'll be able to know a little more of what our spring will look like.
peace