highlights from this week

what a week! here are some highlights:

on wednesday, i took sena and aiyana to their first gymnastics class. it was so much fun, we all loved it. i really didn't know how it was going to go; aiyana said she didn't want to participate at first, but then, about 1 minute after the class began, she joined right in. the class is really small, 6 kids with 2 coaches. they do one hour of fun stuff, using their bodies and all kids of equipment. the best thing, to me, was having sena and aiyana in the same class. they were so cute together, especially when aiyana was confused about something and sena gently guided or reassured her. i think they both feel more comfortable for being together. i also really liked the coaches, they seemed genuine and caring.

yesterday i went to a full day seminar for MAC. the seminar was called Results Based Accountability (RBA), and it was amazing. it was put together by the people who are funding the community project i'm working on, and it was meant to give people who attended some useful tools to make changes happen in communities. it was really inspiring to be there; there were 30 of us, and people seemed very dedicated and passionate about their work. at one point, i realized that in my 10 years of work at pratt, i don't think i ever felt such a high level of energy and enthusiasm around me. and most of these people are not even being paid, or if they are it's small compared to what the people at pratt were being paid. i guess it's just the nature of the work, and the kind of people it attracts. since there's little or no pay in grass-roots community work, the only thing that will draw you in has to be passion, or genuine interest and concern.

since i've been working with MAC, i also realized how big the discrepancy in funding is between projects like theis one, which are really trying to make a difference in the lives of families and children, which to me is fundamental to the well being of a society, and military projects, for intance. MAC has $40000 to work with, and this is a really big deal; yet i remember that when i was working at pratt on military engines, $40000 was nothing. we rutinely blew more than that on an engine test that took half a day to complete, for example.

it really shows where our priorities lie as a society. or maybe its just shows that people don't know/care/understand? i don't know...

so the seminar was amazing, and i have 3 more coming up. but it was so intense that i was exhausted by the end...

this morning, ed and i had some bad energy between us. it left both of us drained. he feels like he and i don't have enough time together, and i want to honor his feeling, but i don't really know what to do. he thinks that i should be more firm with the kids and have them spend some time by themselves, but i have a hard time pushing them away. they do spend time by themselves, playing or doing art, quite often, but it's not predictable, it just happens when they feel like it. if we try to make them do their own thing when we want to, they usually resist and become even more clingy and it turns into a mess. i'm having a hard time balancing everyone's needs... some people think that i'm too attached to the kids and vice-versa, but i have to say that on this one, i trust my own instincts more than anyone or anything else...

hopefuly ed and i will find something that works. it's really hard for everyone when we have this bad vibe going between us.

peace