Christmas in Montreal

Sena and Aiyana 

Sena and Aiyana with their cousins: Julia, Stella and Lucy

My mom with her granddaughters.


Peace 

Happy Birthday Sena!!!

Today is a very special day. It's Sena's 16th birthday! I can't believe it.

Sena is an amazing person, and she's been getting lots of recognition recently as you may know, from different news media, public officials, etc. Yet, all of that doesn't even come close to describing the beautiful person that she truly is.

Although I could write pages on Sena's qualities and accomplishments, instead, I want to briefly describe the impact she has had on me. Sena has given me more than I ever thought possible: understanding, purpose, hope and courage! Because of her, I've been able to stand up for things that I've been too weak to address before. Her example and the kind of person she is give me strength and inspire me to believe in myself and keep moving forward when things are tough. Because of her, I've learnt not only how to stand up for a cause I believe in (for example, my work with pollinators), but how to stand up for myself! I never expected to receive this gift from my child. She allowed me to find a power inside me that I didn't know I had.

And now, just for memory's sake, I want to list some favorite times with Sena over the past year:
Some of my favorite times together are definitely the conversations we have when it's just the two of us. Her maturity level and depth are beyond that of most adults I talk with, and our conversations often leave me with much insight and food for thought. I also love listening to music together when we're driving in the car. I love getting books out for her from the library, and then having her tell me which ones she liked and which she didn't, and why. I love talking about what it means to be a woman in this world. I love talking to her about Shakespeare or other books I'm reading, and, even though she doesn't want to read them herself, I love that she listens to me and I can talk about the lines or ideas I find interesting and get thoughtful feedback from her. I love that she lets me be myself, and never makes me feel ashamed of who I am, even when I do silly or irresponsible things that I know she wouldn't do herself.

There's just so much I want to say, but I don't want to ramble. I am just so grateful!

Here are some pictures of Sena taken over the past year:

In the Dominican Republic

At the September 20th climate rally

In front of the Capitol Building at the November 6th rally, with Sunrise co-director, Mitch.

With Ed at the Fox interview a few weeks ago

 Another interview last week

 At UConn (after finishing her first semester with a 3.94 GPA)

Happiest Birthday, Sena, and thank you for being such an amazing force and person!

Peace

Happy winter solstice!

May this time of year bring you comfort and clarity.

Peace 

All I need to know

What is amazing to me is that among the misguidedness and wretchedness of the world, among the manipulation, fear, shame, betrayal -

love remains; kindness remains; beauty and goodness remain. Not only remain, but thrive. This is all I need to know and my only basis for any kind of belief.

Peace 

Sheer loveliness

It is so lovely out there this morning, after the ice storm. It just lifts the heart and washes everything away. I am so grateful, and wish you all ease and fun and lightheartedness today!

Peace

Some recent poems

To feel and let ourselves be moved: therein lies our connection.

I'm fascinated by fields: electric fields, magnetic fields, gravitational fields. Sometimes I like to think of love as a field as well: how we can sense its energy even when we don't know its source; how it moves us to act and how it results in practical manifestations even as we debate what it is. 

How 

Peace 

Two things

I've got two things I'm really excited about:

One, I finished reading Hamlet. Wow! I can't believe I haven't read it until now. Almost every verse is incredible. I'm getting quite friendly with the librarian at our school and she's hooking me up with all kind of great sources analyzing Shakespeare. I've got 3 different books out on Hamlet now.

Two, I think I decided that I want to get certified to teach high school physics and possibly math. I will have to pass a physics exam and then take classes to get my education certificate. Should be done by 2021. I can do all this part time while still working in my current job assisting my current teachers.

I already started studying for my exam. It's pretty fun!

Peace 

Sena's Fox61 interview

You can watch it here:
https://fox61.com/2019/12/08/the-real-story-environmental-activist-sena-wazer/

Thug Notes on Hamlet

Not your trypical literary analysis, but I love Thug Notes. Here's their take on Hamlet (which I'm currenly reading):
https://youtu.be/A98tf9krihg

Orestes: Fate and personal responsibility. Tragedy. Transformation and redemption.

Fate and personal responsibility. Tragedy. Transformation and redemption.

These are some of the themes running through one of the most inspiring stories I've read in Greek mythology, the story of Orestes from The House of Atreus. I love this story because it is relatable: it shows how we can take whatever pain and dysfunctionality we've been handed down in life, and it lays a roadmap for how to transform it, freeing ourselves and others in the process. 

The story of Orestes is a story of transformation and redemption; of feeling lost, confused, pursued by regret and torment; of having to let go of "everything men prize", meaning superficial ideas and beliefs. Of  having to reach our lowest and most wretched point, and from there, discovering our clarity, strength and wisdom. It is a story about how simply and sincerely wanting to be purified is enough!

Orestes' family had the "curse of the House of Atreus" running through it. Born from murder and deceit generations before Orestes, the curse resulted in a never ending cycle of violence and tragedy that was passed down generation to generation, and ruined many lives. Orestes was the one to end the curse. This is how it happened:

As Orestes grew to manhood, certain events happened in his family, which were out of his control, yet put him in a situation where he was forced to make a terrible decision. Faced with the choice between violating a sacred duty to his father and murdering his mother, in an agony of doubt and indecision, Orestes went to the oracle of Delphi and was told by the god Apollo that he must murder his mother, at which point Orestes realized “that he must work out the curse of his house...and pay with his own ruin". (Leaving aside Orestes' particularly gruesome circumstances, I think many of us can identify with Orestes' dilemma of being forced to make a difficult choice that results in suffering either way).

Orestes does the awful deed, and immediately becomes tortured by remorse, knowing that what he's done is wrong and unforgivable. He is relentlessly pursued by the Furies, goddesses of vengeance and retribution.

In his torment, Orestes wonders for years through many lands, worn with suffering, but..." (and this is where Orestes’ story starts to break the pattern of the curse) "in his loss of everything men prize there was a gain too." What kind of gain can this be?

Having lost everything and being thoroughly wretched, Orestes recognizes that his curse doesn’t have to be just a source of torment, but that he can actually learn from it, and use it in such a way as to break the pattern and turn things in a different direction.

"I have been taught by misery", he says. And what did misery teach him? "That no crime was beyond atonement, that even he...could be made clean again...". So changed, Orestes now sincerely seeks to be purified, knowing that "those who desire to be purified cannot be refused".

He appeals to Athena, and the goddess listens to his plea. Apollo, who directed Orestes’ deed in the first place, intervenes on his behalf and tries to take responsibility for what happened, while the Furies continue to stand strong against him in their demand for vengeance. All the while, Orestes calmly listens to everything Apollo and the Furies have to say for and against him. This, to me, is akin to having an honest look at ourselves. We recognize good and bad things about ourselves. We recognize that our situation and our suffering is determined by circumstances beyond our control, but we also recognize that we do have choice and are active participants in our lives.

In what is by far my favorite part of the story, Orestes calmly and openly acknowledges his role in the wrong he has done, and, at the same time, stands strong in what his suffering has taught him: that he can be redeemed. “I, not Apollo, was guilty of my mother's murder", he says, "but I have been cleansed of my guilt".

This is when everything changes.

"These words were never spoken before by any of the house of Atreus. The killers of that race had never suffered from their guilt and sought to be made clean.”

Then something transformative happens. Not only does Athena accept Osteres’ plea, but

“she persuaded the avenging goddesses also to accept it, and with this new law of mercy established, they themselves were changed. From the Furies of frightful aspect they became the Benignant Ones, the Eumenides, protectors of the suppliants. They acquitted Orestes, and with the words of acquittal the spirit of evil which had haunted his house for so long was banished."

This is how tormentor and tormented, so intimately bound, both transform when suffering is seen and held with clarity and acceptance.

So.

What can this thousand-year-old story possibly speak to our present condition? I say a lot.

Our lives are a mix of agency and circumstance. We are not passive actors in the events of our lives, but neither do we have full control. Only when we face our role and circumstances, and when we hold our suffering with acceptance and awareness, do we find healing. What's more, not only do we find healing, but as Orestes found, that which tormented us, our personal Furies, are transformed from something harmful to something beneficial. They become an ally to ourselves and others. And so, the cycle of suffering is ended. To be in this position, which all us are in to some degree, to have the opportunity to take on whatever suffering we have been handed down in life and transform it instead of passing it down to others, is one of our greatest challenges and privileges.

(All quotes are from Edith Hamilton's Mythology).

Peace

Sena - things are getting a bit surreal

Tune in to Fox61 this coming Sunday at 10am to see Sena's interview on climate change and her activism. And don't forget to come out for tomorrow's climate strike at Hartford Capitol, 12 to 2pm. 

Some funny things today:

When Sena was in the Fox61 studio, one formal looking man who was there with the CT state treasurer being interviewed, came up to her and said:"I just wanted to shake your hand. I read about you in the paper".

Today, around dinner time, Sena's phone rang. It was the commissioner of the CT DEEP (Department of Energy and Environmental Protection), who wanted to let Sena know about their latest move on offshore wind power.

Today, Sena was casually talking to a guy in her calculus class. He asked what she was getting for Christmas and she said probably a headset to talk to reporters. He thought she was joking and didn't believe her. Then she showed him her phone calls from different newspapers, etc., and he said "wow, you're famous".

We laugh about all of it, because it's so surreal.

Peace 

Our encounters define us

When you and I collide
Bright shimmering trail of our encounter
What's there to say about us
Apart from this?

In particle physics, individual subatomic particles cannot be observed or fully defined. Their interactions are all we have to inform us that they exist. Scientists use particle accelerators to smash particles together at incredibly high speeds, and from what can be observed about their interactions, we learn about the particles themselves.

Similarly, in human interactions, when we come together, it's as if universes collide: our backgrounds, our conscious and unconscious drives, our hopes and despairs, every little quirky thing that makes us who we are. And although neither you, nor I can be fully pinned down, our interactions do leave a mark. They have consequences, and in that sense, they define and encompass us.

Teach me how

An important part of emotional maturity is learning how to hold that which thrills us, that which devastates us, as well as the middle way. 

Life, our own life, is our best teacher because it constantly provides us with circumstances which allow us to explore the whole territory of being human, thus giving us precious opportunities to learn. 

When things get tough, as they always do, remember:

The sharpest tools are ones that have been ground the hardest. 

Image: Pixabay

We have ways

We can get lost in life. Life is so topsy turvy. It’s easy to get derailed, distracted; it’s easy to forget who we are and what we hold dear. And when that happens, how do we remember? How do we return to ourselves and that which is true for us? The passage below, out of Homer’s Odyssey gives a hint to a possible answer.

In The Odyssey, when Penelope first finds out that her husband, Odysseus, has returned after 20 years’ absence:

“She sat down opposite him and looked at him in silence. She was bewildered. At one moment she seemed to recognize him, the next, he was a stranger to her…”

When Telemachus (Penelope and Odysseus’ grown son) reproaches her being cruel in how she reacts to Odysseus’ return, she replies:

“My son…I have no strength to move. If this is in truth Odysseus, we have ways of knowing each other.

Sometimes not only do we not recognize each other, as in the case of Penelope and Odysseus, but we don't even recognize ourselves anymore. We forget who we are, who we used to be.

It’s interesting how suffering can affect us. We humans, have a great capacity to adapt to almost any conditions, no matter how difficult; but, though it seems counter intuitive, long term suffering can create a certain “lack of strength” in us and alienate us from ourselves in such a way that even when that which we had most hoped for comes true, we find ourselves unable to act.

In different ways, through life, we all have to adapt to difficulties. Many times, we have to let go of things or people or parts of ourselves that are dear to us. Focusing in particular on the inner realm, we may have to change who we are, minimizing or eliminating certain parts of ourselves in order to better fit into a job, a lifestyle, a relationship. Yet, even though we suffer, when the opportunity arises to reclaim that which we have lost, we remain frozen in disbelief, indecision, bewilderment.

So how do we deal with this predicament? How do we remember who we are? How do we return to what is true for us, and that which we hold dear?

I think one answer is contained in what Penelope suggests to her son, who is becoming impatient with her bewilderment (as we can become impatient towards ourselves when we feel lost):

 “If this is in truth Odysseus, we have ways of knowing each other”.

What she is saying, is that there are ways to remember and recognize that which is true and dear to us; and, as Odysseus significantly reinforces:

“We will find each other presently”.

I take comfort in Penelope’s words “we have ways”, and in Odysseus' confirmation that we will find that which is truly ours.

I found, in my own experience, that there are indeed ways to dispel confusion and find out what is meaningful to us. What are these ways? For me, they are patience, awareness, forgiveness. Mindfulness. Connectedness. They are not easy ways, and they are not quick. But they are powerful and they are beautiful, and with time, they do make a difference.

What ways have you found?

 (Quotes are from Edith Hamilton's Mythology. Image is not mine.)


Peace

You!

I'm grateful for the symphony of YOU!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Peace 

Pictures from 12 years ago

Some things change. Some don't. What's deep in our hearts doesn't change.

I adore this picture of Sena and Aiyana.

Peace 

Another great day in NYC!

The girls and I had another great day trip to NYC yesterday. We went to the NY Botanical Garden Holiday Train Show in the Bronx, which, if you've never been, I highly recommend. It features a lot of iconic NY landmarks, made on a miniature scale, out of all kinds of plant materials, such as seeds, pine cones, bark, twigs, and so on. The artistry is amazing, and the miniature landscape is enchanting.

After the Botanical Garden, we headed to Grand Central Station, and from there, to Bryant Park  to check out the Winter Village. We walked into the many little artisanal shops lining the park, got some hot cider and hot chocolate, watched people skate, and just enjoyed the cheerful atmosphere, and the magic of the night lights around the park against the NY skyline.

I am so grateful for the opportunity to hang out with these beautiful, amazing girls! I savor every moment with them. They allow me to feel young and fun again.

 Peace

Great article about Sena and her work in yesterday's Hartford Courant

Meet Sena Wazer, the 15-year-old climate change activist and UConn freshman determined to protect the planet

https://www.courant.com/news/connecticut/hc-news-sena-wazer-climate-environmental-activist-profile-20191125-dlkq4pyygnckjczu6vmlq6wlzu-story.html

Some thoughts on a powerful and beautiful union

A common theme that's come up in some of the myths I've read recently is the difficult road to attaining wisdom in life, and the many detours and personal sacrifices required as we travel this road.

In Norse myths, for example, the well of knowledge and wisdom is so well guarded, that no one can take even the smallest sip without first making a personal sacrifice. (Why is that? Why is a sacrifice required? Do you find that to be true in your life? Has wisdom come easily to you, or has it required some significant trials?)

In Greek mythology, there is the deadly lure of the Sirens, whose song is so alluring because, besides being beautiful, the Sirens promise that: "They would give knowledge to each man who came to them... ripe with wisdom and a quickening of the spirit" - Edith Hamilton's Mythology. (As an aside, I think it's interesting that the Sirens not only promise knowledge, but wisdom and "a quickening of the spirit". Indeed, I believe that knowledge without these other attributes is hollow and dangerous, liable to be misused. These days, for example, we have seemingly unlimited access to knowledge and information, yet, with wisdom greatly lagging, we often see undesirable results).

So, the myths warn us that wisdom comes at a price. I personally found this to be true: whatever little wisdom I may have, has come from difficult and intimate personal experience.

Kindness, on the other hand, is much more accessible. Kindness is immediate: most of us know what it feels like hear kind words, to have someone genuinely smile at us, to be held, to feel accepted as we are. We can easily recognize what kindness feels like when we receive it, and it takes no special skill or learning to extend the same to others.

To me, the most beautiful thing is when wisdom and kindness come together. They are such powerful mates. Wisdom without kindness is hollow, dried up, dead; and kindness without wisdom can be used in misguided, non-beneficial ways. But together, they can form such a powerful and beautiful union, which, to me, is one of the most worthwhile things to work towards in life.

Peace

Schrodinger's cat

We've been teaching the kids a little bit about atomic theory in class, and Schrodinger's cat came up, so I've been researching it and having a lot of fun with it. Here's a little bit about Schrodinger's cat (as far as I understand) and my own interpretation, or how I relate to it:

Schrodinger's cat was a thought experiment proposed by Erwin Schrodinger in response to the Copenhagen interpretation of quantum mechanics, which said that up until the time you observe a particle, the particle is both there and not there. Schrodinger tried to show that this would lead to absurd conclusions, so he devised a though experiment, in which a cat is placed in a closed box with a radioactive substance which, when decaying, would trigger a mechanism which would kill the cat.

“Schrödinger says that according to the Copenhagen Interpretation, as long as the door is closed, the cat is [both] dead and alive. There is no way to know until the door is opened. But by opening the door, the person is interfering with the experiment. The person and the experiment have to be described with reference to each other. By looking at the experiment the person has influenced the experiment.” (emphasis mine) https://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schr%C3%B6dinger%27s_cat

Well, I find quantum mechanics fascinating, at least the very, very little that I think I understand, and I also take comfort in the famous physicist Richard Feynman’s quote:

“If you think you understand quantum mechanics, you don’t understand quantum mechanics”.

But, although I do not understand Schrodinger’s cat or quantum mechanics, I do understand my own experience with meditation, and have found a certain parallel, which I want to share:

How meditation is like Schrodinger’s cat:

In my experience, I found that as soon as you start to name and define something, you've irrevocably changed it and limited it to a certain state that has as much to do with you as with the thing you're beholding. What you're therefore perceiving is not the thing itself, but a certain aspect or reflection of the thing. The image that thing produces in you may be true in your own reference frame, but it is not the absolute truth about that thing. Beholder and that which is beheld are irrevocably entangled. There is no absoluteness in this sense. Frames of reference change everything!

Meditation practice may allow us to perceive things in a different way from our usual. Sustained meditation practice can give us a different frame of reference, one in which we allow things to be as they are without naming, judging or interfering. Just observing.

I laughed about this all day yesterday!

Peace