My Practicum, which was the practical part of my teaching certification, is officially done! It was pretty stressful, as there was a lot observation and evaluation going on, but I did well and learnt a lot from it. Sena and Aiyana made me this sweet card to celebrate.
Now, I'm on track to officially receive my teaching certificate in June.
Also, I have 2 job offers currently, and have to decide which one to select.
Peace
You gave him your rarest flowers
But he was too wrapped up in his own pain to notice
And now I see you
Dreaming in your garden
A thousand birds and butterflies surround you
Peace
That moment, first thing in the morning,
Before the fears and worries arise,
Before the tangle of your thoughts takes over;
That moment when your heart feels
Simply glad
To greet the sunrise of a brand new day,
A brand new spring,
That's where your treasure lies
Peace
My birthday present from Ed and the girls was this beautiful table with lemon design cushions. I am loving so much how cheerful it looks and I know that I will love it even more when my porch is covered in flowers as it is every year, and I can sit there reading and writing poetry.
"Something brought you back
To the kid that you wereWho's that guy?
Bernie!!! We love all the Bernie memes that have come out since the inauguration, so we thought we'd put him in our field. He fits right in, don't you think?
Peace
Happy Birthday to my wonderful mom who did everything for us and still is! I hope she enjoys her day and look forward to seeing her and my dad on Zoom tonight!
Peace
Welcome 2021 and thank you 2020 for your tough lessons. Going into 2021 with open mind and open heart. Show me!
I wish you peace, health and beauty in the new year and beyond!
Sadly, due to Covid, this year we were unable to go see my parents in Canada for the holidays... But thank goodness for Zoom.
How can I describe Sena? Environmental and social justice activist; junior in college; second degree black belt; these flat words don't even come close to encompassing the beautiful, caring, complex person she is.
May all her days be as bright and beautiful as she is.
A wounded bird takes flight
My heart
That time under the Christmas tree
When I believed
-rm
A ray lights up the dark
A field of birds take flight
A burst of joy
Renewed belief
I am
-rm
(Image: Pixabay)
I love this note so much. My little niece, Lucy, who is 7-years-old, sent it to me yesterday.
Peace
I've been moved to ask and reflect on this question below, by my recent experience getting certified as a teacher.
Some of us may never have had anyone who truly saw us; some of us may have had several people.
But regardless, WE can be someone who sees others and allows them to bring out and contribute their best. WE can give that to ourselves and to each other.
For those of us who feel that we have no reason to be, what other reason do we need?
Peace
A picture of a picture that my mom sent me. I was 6. The shirt and skirt are traditional dress from Arges county.
What are you grateful for?
It's been a tough year for many people. Still, I have a lot of things to be grateful for, including the obvious: that we are healthy and we have what we need, and that we have hope again after Biden was elected.
Two other things I wanted to mention:
I'm grateful that I was able to transition into yet another field of work in my life, and that I am getting to teach a subject I love.
I really do have a lot more that I'm grateful for, but it all boils down to just being here to experience whatever life brings, and to be able to share it with others.
Peace and Happy Thanksgiving!
What really saves us is this:
the fact
that at any point in our lives,
despite what came before,
despite where we are now,
despite the randomness and unfairness of life,
we can choose to do good.
Aiyana has been in a major creative phase over the past few months. I think that being home due to Covid has allowed her to express herself in a way that she wasn't able to before.
She has been crocheing and opened her own etsy shop. She made me a sweater that I wore at school, and got compliments on, and when I said that my daughter made it, people could not believe it.
She has been cooking for us (and basically took over from me cooking now that I am so busy and involved with my school work), making delicious things like pizza from scratch, stuffed peppers, Romanian meat balls (chiftele), butternut squash soup, etc.
And she has been drawing. Here is some of her work:
Peace
Before taking this teaching job, I was afraid of several things:
I was afraid that I would be thrown in without any support; I was afraid that I would be expected to provide all of my teaching materials and curriculum; I was afraid that I would be overwhelmed; and so on.
All of those fears came true. But there was one more fear: that I wouldn't be able to do it. That fear did not come true. I am doing it, and although my hands were shaking for weeks on end from being so hyped up, and although my stomach has also been kind of messed up for weeks, from being so stressed, things are calming down a bit, and I can honestly say that I love it.
I still cannot believe that I'm teaching physics. I've always loved physics, but I never thought that one day I'd be teaching it, but somehow here I am, doing it, stumbling through it, and despite the stress, realizing in the quiet moments that I'm loving it. And I'm loving the kids in my class and my interaction with them. I want to do right by them and be a great teacher to them.
I also love the cultural diversity of my school. I had conversations with parents 100% in Spanish, and that is really fun, and it gets me to sharpen my Spanish skills.
Peace
There will be no closure to these wounds
They will continue to pour light and healing
-rm
Wounds can become a source of bitterness and regret. They can perpetuate further hurt and misunderstanding. Or, they can become a source of compassion and understanding, softening us to the world and to our own place in it, thus generating an outpouring of healing light.
Things have still been hyper intense over here with my new job. Not bad, just very stressful.
I figured out last night that this situation, how things are, will not change for at least another year. There are various reasons for that, which I won't go into.
So, I decided that I am the one who has to change and figure out a way to handle the situation in a more sustainable way.
So, after letting that thought sink in before falling asleep last night, I had a beautiful dream that I really treasure. Just a simple little dream in which my mom was showing me pictures of when I was a little girl. In one of them, I was running in the rain, with my head thrown back, and I was laughing. Looking at that picture in my dream, I could feel that true happiness and simplicity of the state I was in; that pure enjoyment of what is, for no particular reason.
Outside of my dream, I know that that feeling is real, and I know that it was a reminder for me that this state of simple joy is always accessible to me, even now when I am burdened with the cares and stresses of daily life.
Today, after I taught my class, I was posting a video on my YouTube channel. I started my own physics YouTube channel, to help students solve problems, etc. (go to YouTube and search Raluca Mocanu Physics and it should come up, if you're interested).
When I finished uploading my video, another video popped up. Like my dream last night, it was also on the theme of Rain, coincidentally or not, and it held a beautiful message and a method that felt almost like a reminder / complement to what I saw in my dream. The video is called "5 hindrances to self mastery" and Here it is if you want to watch it.
Peace
One of my students anonymously posted this sticker this morning on our virtual white board while I was teaching my Physics class. I did not see it until after the class, but when I did, it made me so happy.
I guess I'm doing something right, at least for some of the students, even though things have felt so stressful over the past few weeks...
Things have been crazy with my new job: coming in one month into the semester, trying to jump right in, get to know the students, cover the material to prepare them for the AP Physics exam, and figuring out the classroom technology at the same time. On top of it, the ongoing school closures and changes due to covid. The latest was on Friday, being told that we're going fully remote for the next two weeks. Just when I had figured out the smartboard in the classroom :)
I've had to do most of this pretty much on my own. But on the upside, I have already made some great connection with the kids in my class. They are so smart and sweet, and I really care about them already. That is enough to carry me through this period of stress.
Furthermore, the teachers at my old school have been so encouraging and amazing, really boosting me up and telling me that they think I'm going to be a great teacher. It really means so much to me, and I have learned so much from them over the past year, sitting in their classrooms and seeing how they teach.
As far as the farm, things are going really well considering how busy Ed and I have both been doing our own thing. Our worker, Dan, has been keeping everything afloat, and sales have been very good. We still have a lot of vegetables in the field.
I am still doing deliveries every Friday, which is actually a good thing, because the drive time gives me a break from overthinking and generally trying to do too much. I am also milking the cows once a week, but I had to stop making cheese because it was too much. I still make yogurt though.
So that's about it for my update. To sum it up, I would say that things have been crazy, but also that I am very excited, and I really think that being a physics teacher it will suit me well.
I hope you guys are all doing well :)
Oh yeah, and don't forget, whatever you do, don't forget to:
Peace
Aiyana got her first leather jacket yesterday for her 15th birthday.
I am so excited and also really nervous. I got the job I interviewed for last week. I will be teaching AP (Advanced Placement) Physics at Windham Highschool, starting this Monday!
It is what I really wanted, but the semester is already 4 weeks in, and I haven't even met the kids yet! They have to take the AP exam in May, so I need to get them ready for that, and I am starting everything from scratch. I was lucky enough to have a friend share all of her AP Physics materials with me - all her presentations, assessment, assignments, etc. That is a huge help. Still, I have to get familiar with everything by Monday, get organized, learn the school's platforms, and hit the ground running. Not to mention that this will be my first time ever teaching my own classroom.
The kids in my class will be high school juniors and seniors. I really look forward to meeting them. I like that age group a lot.
I'm going to work really hard to be ready and do well by them. Hopefully I won't burn myself out worrying about all the what if's and all the unknowns, of which there are so many...
A while ago, I wrote in my journal "Physics is the door to wonderland". So I try to remember that, and think of how exciting it is to have this opportunity to share it with others, and let that mitigate some of the stress I am feeling right now.
Peace
Early morning
Silence of dawn -
I sit alone,
Though I share this moment with you,
Before I plunge into the tumult of the world
-rm
~~~
And some news: today I have an interview for an AP Physics teacher position in Windham. I'm excited and a bit nervous....
Peace
Things as they are:
There's nothing holier than that
-rm
"Climate is not just an environmental issue, according to youth activists. It’s also a racial justice issue, an economic issue, and an access-to-health care issue."
I fell in love with you
And when it didn't work
I fell in love with
Everything
-rm
Eventually, we find out that some people's role in our lives is simply to open something in us; to awaken us such that we fall in love with everything; with life itself, in all its beauty and messiness.
This is not a Hollywood kind of love; it is a much grittier and much more delicate kind of love; a down to earth and a sublime kind of love. A real and always available kind of love.
Peace
The intimate dance of seer and the seen:
Though it is right in front of you
What you see
Is not what you are seeing;
Seeing itself is the art
That changes everything;
Refine your art
Refine your state of being
What you perceive will change
Though what you see will stay the same
Yesterday, Sena and her co-director Mitch from Sunrise CT, were invited to be present at an announcement made by the Attorney General of Connecticut.
The announcement was an exciting one: Connecticut is suing ExxonMobil for knowingly engaging in practices that are proven to be detrimental to the environment and worsening climate change.
Accountability is important.
It is time. It is passed time.
Until we are ready to see
The banquet will be laid before us
And yet
We will be starving
-rm
How do we become ready? Our lives take care of that, through all our good and bad experiences.
All we need to do is pay attention and be present.
Some moments I remember
Are so beautiful
Like sea glass
And also dangerous
At any instant I could cut myself
Start bleeding
Once again
Story of my life:
I was given a template
And told to fill in the details
But I've always preferred
A more non-linear story
The question is not
What your identity is
But rather
What lies at the intersection
Of all the identities your embody
At any given moment
-rm
We've been doing some workshops on identity and culture as part of our professional development this past week in school, which I really enjoyed, and which prompted me to write this poem.
Speaking of this past week: it's good to find out what doesn't work. I found that working both at school and on the farm (even though most of what I'm doing on the farm these days is interacting with customers online) is not sustainable for me. And so, I will pass on more of the farm responsibility to our worker Dan, and see how it balances out.
I hope you have a great weekend and enjoy this beautiful weather.
