Aiyana's Birth

finally, i get a chance to write again. it's exciting to share this.
a day after my last posting, on oct 5th, a warm and sunny day, i gave birth to my second daughter Aiyana. her name means "eternal blossom" (Native American) and it seems to me appropriate every time i look into her big brown eyes.

I had a great birth experience. my dream of giving birth outside came true. everything fell into place - my labor started early morning, the weather was great, and the location very private and peaceful. i labored outside from 10am till just after 3pm, at which point i felt i needed to be in the water, just like i was when Sena was born. i rushed to the bath tub and Aiyana was born there 15 minutes later. she was healthy and cried vigurously, which i took as a good sign.

although i felt good after the labor, the days following it were challenging. i found it difficult to divide my attention between Sena and Aiyana. had a lot of mixed emotions, ranging from feeling overwhelmed and ready to break down to feeling extatic and light as a feather floating on air. everntually, as i got some rest, things settled down a little, and now, 4 weeks later i find we are getting somewhat of a routine going. being so out of control the first few days was hard but it also had its upside - most importantly i was forced to let go of anything that was not important. that included brushing my teeth, washing, not to metiong household stuff. my attention and energy focused solely on taking care of us - the little ones, ed and i. i realized how attached i was to my daily routines, which after all are things we construct to give us a sense of control in our lives,and in those days i found were not that important. may sound crazy, but for me, this was a breakthrough and it lightened me up considerably, freeing my energy and positive thoughts.

the house is still a mess, but i do brush my teeth on most days now that things are settled down a bit. i still choose to give my energy to what matters most first - and to me that is being a good mom and a good person, being there for my daughters and for my friends always.

through the past 4 weeks, rumi has kept my spirit alive. whenever i felt myself plunging into a being overwhelmed or depressed, i somehow made time to read a few lines of rumi and things always looked better after that. or maybe it's just that i was able to accept them better.

my friends and the community i live in have also been amazing. they've supported us so much after the birth. people came and cleaned our house, did our laundry, cooked for us, took sena out to the park so i could get a nap, and so much more. i am really moved to be part of such an amazing group of people, and it really makes me want to give back. i feel like i've received so much love and support without any strings attached, but simply because these people are kind. makes me want to do that for someone else more than ever....

i would love to share the birth story in more detail - just a matter of getting it on the computer now. hopefuly i'll be able to post it soon, with some pics to go along too.

i missed writing - so much more challenging to do it now though, esp. since we don't have a computer at home...
but i'll try to write again when i get a chance. in the meantime, thank you for your comments, and thank you for your interest in reading this.

peace to all...