More pictures from Montreal and Bromont

Christmas in Montreal again!

So grateful to have been able to make it here this Christmas.

I hope your Christmas was beautiful!

Peace

TODAY is SUCH a happy day!

Our beautiful Sena is turning 18!

💖💖💖

35 years today!

Today marks 35 years since my family left Romania and landed in New York City: our arrival to North America.

35 years since our lives changed irrevocably.

I don't have a coherent narrative about these 35 years. They were good and they were hard. Still are, for my whole family.

I am happy with where my life is right now. I am grateful for all the opportunities I had, which I might not have had in Romania. I am above all happy for all the amazing people I've met here, in Canada and the US. And so very grateful for my little American family that I have made here in CT.

But being an immigrant in some ways never gets easy. You feel like you fit in anywhere and nowhere. I fit and don't fit here, in Canada, in Romania. There's a sense of grieving which increases as you get older, for having lost something that you can't even define. Something that doesn't exist anymore except in your deepest feelings and possibly in shared memories.

There's also a sense of incredible richness and gratitude at having been privileged enough to experience so much, such different cultures, each with their own beauty. And more than anything a sense of happiness at being able to share this richness with Sena and Aiyana.

This is a little collage I made to celebrate these 35 years since our arrival, with pictures that capture some moments in this neverending transition.

Peace

You will understand

 

"But don't weep, mamma! Life is still before you, you still have your good, pure heart...

Let us go ..

We will make a new garden, more splendid than this one: you will see it, you will understand. And joy, quiet, deep joy, will sink into your soul like the sun at evening! And you will smile..."

(Anton Chekhov, The cherry orchard)

Happy Sunday

Sitting on my bench with my gnome, ducks, and Chekhov on a late fall Sunday morning. 

Have you ever read Chekhov? If not, you must. His beautiful and insightful writing is enough to transport you from wherever you may find yourself.

Sena in Glasgow!

Yesterday, Sena flew to Glasgow to take part in the international climate conference COP26. She was selected to go with a small group of students and faculty from UConn. She is so excited to travel again, and I am really excited for her as well. She's going to be there for a week.

The other great news is that a natural gas power plant that was proposed in Killingly CT, and which Sena opposed for the past couple of years, has been shot down by ISO New England this past week, meaning that the chances that it will be built are now a lot less than before. This is great news for a lot of climate activists like Sena, and hopefully it will give them a bit of respite from the feeling that nothing is being done.

If you'd like to follow Sena's work and travels, she's under Sena Wazer on FB, Instagram and Linkedin.

Peace

Practice

 If we don't deliberately and consistently make space in our lives for the beauty and joy of simple things, we risk becoming over-run by worry, anxiety, and the general muck that the world heaps upon us. 

We must practice noticing the beauty that is all around us as much as we notice all the problems and ugliness, until it becomes part of us and it can carry us through when things are difficult.

Today there were birds flying in and out a shrub outside my classroom window, and that was enough to warm my heart for the whole day. I hope that you also found a little or maybe a big thing to make you feel happy to be here.

I've been posting mostly on Instagram lately, in the little time that I spend on social media. If you're interested, my Instagram name is @earthspiritiscalling. I don't post anything too personal though, just short poems and pictures.

Peace

Been so busy

With the beginning of school and all...

But things are going well and I really like my new job. And on the weekend, I still find time to enjoy my little garden.

Peace

In Montreal, at last!

Finally, after almost 2 years, we were able to travel and see my parents in Montreal!!!

See you there!

Into the magic of each ordinary day

That's where I'll always meet you

peace

Two little videos from my porch

 Cats, ducks, flowers and a cup of coffee: https://youtu.be/SDxbtQxNzrQ

A little bumblebee friend: https://youtu.be/TxX0XCEKzCc

I hope you enjoy your weekend.

Peace

Classics - Poezii

One day I want to share some of these books with Sena and Aiyana. These are some of the old, classic Romanian poets. They are really amazing. In Romania, we had to memorize their poems for school. These books smell like our house in Bucharest where I grew up. When I smell that smell, it makes me happy and also it makes me want to cry. Such is the life of an immigrant. I know I'm not alone feeling this way :)

Peace

Traitor

I proved a traitor to you when

I loved again.

I proved no traitor to you when

I never loved the same.

peace

Knowing

But when we meet again
I'll say my name
And you won't know me

You'll have to listen to the silence
To know
That we have known each other
All along

peace

Some updates

The summer is almost over and I feel like so much has happened, that it made it fly by even faster than usual. Here are a few updates:

About 2 weeks ago, I had my last procedure related to my gallbladder. It was an endoscopy, in which they gave me anesthesia and removed a stent they had put in my bile duct to keep it open. It was a day procedure, and I did not have to stay in the hospital overnight. Everything went well, and since then, I've been feeling really well. I would even venture to say that I am now feeling better than I have in years. I'm still working on my anemia, which I developed due to blood loss after my first endoscopy back in June, but that is slowly improving as well.

The other piece of big news is that, unexpectedly, I received a job offer from the school where Aiyana goes, EO Smith. I worked with them in 2019-2020, and just recently they had a teacher leave and offered me the position. Even though I was supposed to start working in Hartford at the end of August, I could not refuse the offer from EOS. This school is literally one mile from my house, plus I know the science department and really like everyone I worked with there. Plus it's the school where Aiyana goes, and my niece Julia, so there are a lot of advantages. I will be teaching Physical Science and Geology to start, with other options opening up in future years. I am very excited about this unexpected development and I am so grateful that they wanted me back and that everything went so fast and easy. I do feel bad about Hartford though, especially since I know they are having a really hard time filling the Physics position. I am trying to help the principal find another Physics teacher. If you know of anyone in this area, please let me know.

In other news, we are hoping to finally be able to see my parents in a week or so, now that the Canadian/US border has reopened. We haven't seen them in about 2 years!

I will end here, sending my best to everyone.

peace

Update on my procedure

Help me to walk in such a way
As if each moment
I was entering
Your sacred garden

I am so happy that my final procedure in my gallbladder saga went well at Hartford Hospital this morning!!!

I feel so grateful to all the medical personnel who helped me, and my family and friends and all those who told me they were thinking about me, praying for me, and wished me well.  I felt much less afraid this time because of all of you ❤️

Though I am still a bit weak from the anesthetic, I feel spiritually renewed. Indeed, I know now that each step and each breath we take is precious. Our lives and everyone else's lives are precious. All we need is to recognize it. I am so glad to be in this world with all of you for as long as we have, and I am so grateful to have the opportunity to contribute to making it beautiful in any way I can.

Peace

A little practice I really like

I want to share a little practice I've been doing first thing in the morning and last thing before I fall asleep at night. I find it very helpful and soothing, and I thought maybe you'd find it helpful too.

You could call this practice praying, or you could call it mindfulness meditation, or you can call it whatever you want. Basically, what it is, is focusing my attention, remembering and sending well wishes to many different people.

I think about people in hospitals, who are alone and afraid, and pray for them, for health and help.

I think about children who are sick or hungry or in unsafe situations, and send them well wishes, that they may feel loved and cared for.

I think about all the helpers out there in their many forms: those who take care of the sick; teachers; farmers; healers; cleaners; activists; everyone who does a little part to help the whole. I wish them health and strength.

I think about those in power, those who I agree with and those who I disagree with. I send them prayers and well wishes so that they may see clearly and make good decisions.

I think about the bullies and the aggressive ones, and wish them healing from whatever is hurting them so they may live their lives in a better way.

I think about the plants and animals and fungi and bacteria and our amazing Earth. I send gratitude for all we take to sustain ourselves, and for all the beauty.

I think about other things, and as I do, I feel connected to them and send well wishes.

I originally stared this practice because I couldn't do my regular meditation, since I couldn't sit due to my surgery. Now I continue to do it, even though I can sit again. I find it to be a really good way to focus my mind, and stay present. Of course my mind still strays a lot, but this practice gives me something very concrete to come back to.

The other thing I found is that this meditation makes me feel less afraid, less alone, more connected. It also helps me to remember to take positive action in my daily life. 

I hope you find something useful in it too.

peace

Presence is the antidote to fear

Always, we must be willing to lose ourselves in order to find ourselves
Losing the cage of our self centered thinking,
It's not as easy as it seems
But it is necessary
So that we might open
To the thousand things

Did you ever feel like there is so much richness in every single moment, that you are about to explode if you take it all in? And did you ever feel, when stuck in your own head, in the usual thinking patterns, that all is drab and lifeless?
What makes the difference?

This morning, I was worried about my upcoming surgery. Worried about what might go wrong, and so on. I was so caught up in my thinking, that even though I was sitting in my beautiful garden, I noticed nothing but my fear. Then I remembered to be present, to come back to what's right in front of me. I noticed the purple dhalia in the picture; I noticed three tiny wasps buzzing around it. I noticed the hummingbird visiting my Rose of Sharon. In this state of presence, I forgot about my fears. It was only for a few moments, to be sure, before they returned, but, I felt at peace.

So the question is: am I those fears, or am I the presence I so briefly experienced? Right now, I think I'm both. And I think that's okay, as long as I remember that at any moment, I can choose.

Wishing you all moments of peace and presence, and always the remembering that we have choice.

Peace

A great day!

The girls and I had such a great day today. We went to a cafe in Mystic and then to the Fantastic Umbrella Factory in RI. 

I am so happy as you can see.