a weekend in montreal

our friends johnny and angela, their children corey and yuba, and the 4 of us spent a nice weekend in montreal. 10 people in my parents little house sounds like a lot, but things worked out fine, especially since johnny and angela brought their tent and camped in the back yard the three nights that we spent there.

we got there on friday evening, and left on monday morning, so we had 2 full days, saturday and sunday. we brought our bikes, and tried to get around with them as much as possible. although it rained a lot last week, the days that we were there it rained only at night, and the rest of the time was very pleasant.

i felt really excited riding our bikes around the city, showing my friends around, and having someone around who is also addicted to good coffee. it was also nice to eat all those fresh croissants and bagels.

on saturday, we left my parents' house in the morning. johnny, angela, corey and yuba were each riding their own bike, while ed and i each had a kid on ours. we biked from my parents' house in brossard to the old port in montreal. there, we left our bikes on a bike rack, and did some walking around. i never go to old montreal, except when i'm showing visitors around, and this was my friends' first time in montreal, so it was kind of nice for me to see it as well. the kids did great, although sena was whining sometimes. she was bored being in her bike-seat for so long, but then wehn she got out and we started walking, she was complaining about the walk. all in all, things went well, though. we stopped at a nice cafe and had some excellent croissants with coffee, and the kids had yogurt and juice for snacks.

on our way back home, we were caught in a downpour, which we tried to avoid as much as we could, until it became apparent that it was unavoidable. at this point, i decided to get wet and enjoy it, so i took off my sticky, hot, raincoat, and got drenched head-to-toe, and felt great about it. nice warm summer rain, it had been a while since i felt what it was like. i don't think my parents were too excited when the 8 of us showed up drenched and dripping on their front steps, but they took care of us and did their best to make us comfortable. all kids jumped in the bathtub at once, 4 of them squished in there, really sweet, but they would not let me take any pics...

on sunday, we decided to cut down on the biking, since corey's knee was swollen and we were concerned about it. he still wanted to bike, and said it didn't hurt, but we decided to drive downtown instead and only bike short distances around there. we drove up mount royal first, where our friends had a view of the city; then we went to fairmount and picked up some bagels; then we parked the car on st-urbain, and from there we biked to McGill university, then back to st-laurent, carre st-louis where we took a break, then all the way to parc lafontaine where we followed the bikepath up to the plateau and eventually back to st-urbain. we ate at sentrepole, and then spent about an hour at the tam-tams on mount royal.

sena and aiyana spent the day with my parents doing their own thing. it was a great day, and i felt free having fun and doing whatever i wanted, not having to worry about the kids at all, but i did miss them, and by the afternoon i was ready to be with them again. so angela and her kids and i drove back to my parents', while ed and johnny decided to bike back home and see a little more of the city on the way.

the nicest thing about this weekend was being able to share the things and places i love with my family and friends. i'm definitely looking fwd to more of this.

here are some pics:

the tam-tams on mount-royal


johnny, corey and yuba checking it out


sentrepole, under the table


flowers in carre st-louis




one lonely flower floating in the fountain


my vege pate sandwich at sentrepole (the sprounts were amazing)


walking around the vieux port

the kids, having fun (having corey and yuba around was unbeleivable. sena and aiyana were pretty much hands off for ed and i, the entire weekend, because they were so involved with their older friends...)

getting ready to ride around the city

johnny and angela

more flowers at carre st-louis

our bikes

sena and aiyana having fun in the car, on our ride to montreal

aiyana at my parents' house

playing in my mother's back yard

look what i found

i forgot about this, until i found it by accident today. it's a (rough) website i put together after our biking trip through asia, in 2001. it has pictures, emails i sent home, and a little description of our trip. it also links to another trip we took, this one being to peru in 2002, with more pics and descriptions. here's the address:
http://www.geocities.com/ralucamocanu/

no! i mean...maybe yes...

this singapore thing is taking all kids of turns.
at first ed's boss said 'forget it' to our 1 yr proposal. he insisted on 3 yrs, and said he'd try to find someone else. now, he spoke to another boss, and they came back to ed with a 2 yr proposal. ed and i are sticking to 1yr though, 1.5yrs max. we'll see what happens.

in the meantime, i'm feeling really good. strong, centered and clear. i played with my tarot cards this morning and i got exuberance. very reflective of where i am right now. i feel that i have lots of energy, and i am interested in all kinds of things. even better, i feel empowered, particularly in this community project i'm involved in, and generally in my life and the lives of those close to me. my friend sue often says to me "you can't get it wrong", when we speak about decisions we have to make in our lives. and at this point, i truly feel that that is true. i feel that i am living as honestly and openly as i can. i'm flowing, and i love it.

beets anyone?

peace

yes

decision's been made: we're going to say yes to moving to Singapore for a year. don't know what will happen, ed's work wanted a commitment of 2-3 years, but at this point ed's the only qualified candidate, so we'll see.

i feel good with things, i feel comfortable whether we go or stay. even though last week was stressful, i'm happy i went through it. i learned a lot about decision-making, and i feel good about the way things came together. right now, i feel free and clear.

big decision

this week's been kind of stressful. i've had to make what seems like a big decision: whether to go to singapore or not. ed has an offer to go from his work. it would be for 1 to 1.5 yrs, all expenses paid. we'd get a very generous housing allowance, car, and other living expenses all covered. money wise, it's definitely a plus.

i've had so many thoughts going through my head. that's what made it stressful. i found myself really excited about the possibility one day, and the next i'd be thinking it's crazy to move away from the place we love, where we have so many friends and family, where we feel at home. ed and i talked a lot, but after a while, that wasn't fruitful anymore; our conversations became polarized, and i'd find myself taking a position i didn't really feel drawn towards just to counteract him. so i decided i needed to do my own thinking and figure out exactly what my position is before having any further discussions with him. that's what i've been doing this week.

here are some of the main issues i thought about. first, the concerns:

health (especially kids): i'm worried about air/food/water quality. we're being very careful with that here, trying to eat clean food as much as possible, unsprayed, organic, all of that. over there, i just don't know where the food comes from and how it was grown. i know it's going to be delicious taste wise (indian, malay, chinese food), but quality wise, i just don't know. air and water pollution are also things i wonder about. it's a busy metropolis, and although i know they have very stringent pollution laws, i still wonder.

on the other hand, i know that singapore's medical facilities and personnel are some of the best in the world, so that's a safety net in case something should go wrong (not that i'd want to end up there...).

another thing i'm worried about is uprooting our family. i know how important it is to have support, and we have so much of it here: my sister, ed's family, my family, and so many excellent friends. i'm sure it's going to be hard on ed and i, and the kids, at least initially, to find ourselves alone. also, i don't know how the kids will do being away from everyone they know, from their routine; ed and i will be there to support them and give them all our love, but will that be enough?
on the other hand, i look forward to meeting new people, making new friends, and i think the kids will make their own friends soon enough, so that can be very exciting.

my last major concern has to do with living in the city. simply put, i will miss the trees, the rivers, the open space. i will miss having nature outside my front door. singapore is very built up, it has to be with so many people in such a small place. i can enjoy city life for a while, the crowds, the cafes, the shops, but will i get overwhelmed with it?

on the positive side:
singapore's got an excellent reputation for safety;

it's a very multicultural environment, with chinese, indian, malay, european, north americans, etc living side by side. this would be an amazing learning opportunity for all of us, especially the kids, who will probably pick up at least one of the four official languages; in that respect, i feel that we'll all become richer for this experience.

i'm excited at the possibility of exploring indonesia and malaysia, which are neighbors with singapore, at minimal cost to us. if i had to pick one place in the world that i wanted to experience at this time in my life, it would be indonesia, and here's an opportunity to do so. i also love malaysia, at least the little of it i saw in 2001.

i know, and other people i know confirmed this, that a year goes by so quickly, that, when we come back, it will feel like we weren't even gone at all; yet a year of living in another country is long enough to allow us to experience it.

i'm also excited at the prospect of taking classes or doing something out of the ordinary; i'm thinking maybe chinese painting, or calligraphy, or indian cooking, or maybe some form of chinese medicine; i have so many ideas and it's exciting to have the opportunity to explore some of them.

in the end, i feel like whatever we decide, either way it's good. i don't feel like we can get it wrong, but rather, that it's a matter of making a choice and aligning ourselves with it.

one thought i had this week when i felt quite stressed about this, is that no matter what happens, i have myself. maybe that sounds corny, but it made me feel good. i know that i have strength, flexibility and a lot of other inner resources to draw upon and make this or any other experience a rich one.

finally, my friend jennifer gave me this excellent advice: she said "are you afraid?", and i had to admit that i was one some level. she said "if you're afraid, that's a reason in itself why you should do it". other friend resonated her advice. it's time to shake it up.

will let you know what we decide.
peace

busy week

phew, a busy week is coming to an end. i have some time to myself, and it feels nice to be able to sit and take it all in. here are a few highlights, starting last saturday:

saturday: farmer's market in the afternoon; watching "little miss sunshine" after kids were in bed (loved it)

sunday: blueberry picking in the morning, with roxi, ricardo and julia. we picked 7 lbs and had a great time. roxi and ricardo posted some pics from this on their blog.

monday: picked ed up at the airport. sena and aiyana were SO excited to see him again, it was quite emotional.

at night, we had a beautiful women's circle that all of us enjoyed, including the kids. i took these pictures after we closed the circle, and started eating. the sky was outrageous....

tuesday: attended a half-day seminar on community work. this is related to the work i'm doing with MAC, that children's group i got involved with a while ago. i felt really lucky to participate in the seminar, because the people there seemed very experienced and motivated, and i learned a lot from them. the only downside was feeling exhausted at the end, and having to jump right into taking care of the kids, cooking, etc. with no break.

wednesday: had a birthday party for giovanna, (sena's friend), at our place. beautiful day, great food, great people. it all took place outside, with the kids running through the water sprinkler, and playing games, while the adults hung out talking about samurai movies (my neighbor matt was there).

thursday: had julia in the morning, then after roxi picked her up, sena, aiyana and i went to the fenton river, where we found a shady spot and sat and played for a couple of hours. at night, the 'third thursday' festival was happening in willimantic, which we never miss, so we went, had some indian food and falafael, walked around, bounced in the bouncy house, and came back home exhausted.

i want to post this one more picture, because i like it. aiyana was pretending that this cardboard box was her house, and she lay down in it with all her 'babies', while sena covered her up with a sheer blue scarf.


peace

a treat

last night, after the kids went to sleep, i treated myself to a beautiful movie: Hero. you can check out description and some reviews here.
if you liked 'crouching tiger, hidden dragon', or 'house of flying daggers', you may like this one.

i found it to be a beautiful movie, in many ways, the most obvious one being visually (beautiful people, gorgeous landscapes, beautiful cinematography). it had some nice fighting scenes, if you like martial arts; but my favorite part, i'd have to say, was the state of mind this movie lured me into. check it out, see what i mean.

there are various interpretations of this movie, some more disturbing than others, but regardless, to me, it's still worth seeing.

one more thing: my neighbor matt, who is a connaisseur of asian martial arts movies, told me to that the original chinese version with english subtitles (which is what i watched) is much better than the american one (due in part to some of the translation).

and since i'm on the topic, i have to mention another beautiful, beautiful film i saw last year, that's been with me since i saw it: Dreams byAkira Kurosawa. check it out here.

missing dada

the girls ask me every day when ed will be back. they see his car and get all excited every time we pull in the driveway, saying 'dada's home, dada's home', and then i have to say, not yet, it's only his car. then they get all sad and disappointed....

chicken drama

still didn't catch any groundhods. i guess i'm not too good at setting traps. maybe they don't like our compost, which is what i put in there to lure them in; i'll have to try something else....

but, we have at least one baby chick. he hatched yesterday. i went to check on the hen, and she was sitting on the eggs as usual; everything looked unchanged, so i was about to leave, when i noticed a tiny beak and a shiny black eye peeking at me from under the hen. i went in the house to get the girls and show them, but by the time we got back to the coop, the chick had gone all the way under the hen, and we couldn't see him anymore. this morning though, he was out walking around the coop, and we were able to see him really well. he's so sweet and small, all fuzzy, yellow with brown stripes. very exciting.

last night, we had guinea hen drama:
i counted them, and there were only 14, instead of 15. i also noticed that the water feeder was missing from the coop. i looked around the yard, and something white caught my eye in a bush. i checked it out, and it turned out to be the water feeder. i had no idea how it got there, but i tried to pull it out, and realized that it was attached to the missing guinea hen. at first, i thought that she was dead, she was all limp; but when i pulled harder, she started to squak and fight me. so now i had this guinea hen with her foot stuck through the water feeder hook, and frantically trying to get away from me.

i feel really bad seeing hurt animals. and often, i find when i try to help them, they panic and try to get away and in the process end up getting even more hurt. so it's really tricky.

so i grabbed the hen and tried to get the hook off her leg, but the leg was all swollen, and the best i could do was to detach the hook from the water feeder, so at least she didn't have this huge thing attached to her. i talked to her and tried to reassure her in my genlest voice, but she was really frightened and ran further into the bushes. i was not excited at the prospect of chasing a hurt hen through prickery bushes.

in the meantime, the rooster, who was freaking out, being very protective of the hens, came over to check out what was happening. i decided to leave the hen and rooster alone for a while, maybe she'd come out of the bushes by herself. i went in the house, and in a few minutes, i saw that she did come out and was trying to join the rest of the chickens. she could not walk on her hurt leg, so she flapped her wings in semi-flght, and then lay down. as soon as the rest of the pack moved, she'd have to flap again to join them, and it was clear that she was having a real hard time and could not keep up.

fortunately, at this point, shandra, my amazing neighbor, came out. she's the most capable person i've ever met, so everything went well after that. i felt so relieved to see her. she caught the hen, took the hook out of her leg, and checked her leg to see if it was broken or dislocated; then we made a resting place for her using an upside-down hamper with some rocks on top; we gave her water, food and some rescue remedy, and soon enough she seemed much calmer and was resting. we isolated her from the rest of the pack at night too, and already she seems much better today. i think we can let her out tomorrow, she seems really eager to join the rest of the pack.

and in praise of our rooster:
we have the best rooster in the whole world. he's quite small, but he is amazing. he's so protective and caring with the hens, and at the same time he's gentle and has never attacked anyone. some of my friends have big, aggressive roosters that don't even care for the hens all that well, and i told them to bring them over to check out our rooster, maybe they'll learn. anyway, yesterday, the rooster kept coming over to check on the hurt hen, you could tell he was really concerned, he kept circling around her and didn't want to leave her alone. at night, when we put her separate from the rest, you could tell he was very anxious and didn't want to go in the coop until she was there too. actually, all the hens, not just the rooster, seemed very concerned about the one who got hurt. it was very moving to see them.

so everything is well now, and i'm very grateful to shandra for all her help.

peace

day in the life

- got up this morning, had a nice shower, and drove to connecticut; the girls and i slept in rhode island last night, at ed's parents' cottage. thy girls stayed and are spending the day at the beach with grandma and grampa, while i came back to CT to do some errands.

- went to a dentist appointment and was coerced into having xrays taken, which of course showed a cavity. otherwise, they said, things look good. whatever.

- came home and checked the trap. no groundhog. (although i did see one running accross the driveway as i pulled in...)

- went to check on the chickens. the rooster and guinea hens were unhappy because they're spending the day in the coop today. they were also running out of food. i refilled their water, and called the store to see if their food came in.

- the hen is in a separate coop, sitting on her eggs i checked on her too - no baby chicks yet...

- picked some fresh lettuce and basil out of the garden. the basil smells and looks amazing. i'm making pesto tonight.

- went in the house and made myself a salad to die for: lettuce, avocado, boiled eggs, garlic (of course), 2 kinds of seeds, olive oil, and some delicious balsamic vinegar from the co-op. what a treat, and i had it all to myself! for desert, i had one piece of dark chocolate, a handfull of cherries, and a cup of coffee. this is the life! i love it, love to eat, and love to talk about food. i also like to share my food, although when in short supply, i experience inner conflict about sharing.

- after lunch, i set up a second have-a-heart-trap, which ed's dad gave me this morning. it took a while to figure it out, and i was covered in sweat by the time i did it, but hopefuly i'll have at least one groundhog by tomorrow.

- went to the chicken store and got the food.

- went by my landlady's house and paid the rent

- now i have a few moments to myself, in the shade, writing this. then, i'll be driving back to rhode island to spend the night. last night i could hear the ocean out of my bedroom, and it felt really nice. it's been a while since i fell asleep to the sound of the waves...i love it.

tomorrow, we're hitting the beach.

peace

taking on a different week

ed's in singapore and i'm on my own with the kids. i do have lots of support though: my sister, ed's parents, my friends... so i'm expecting everything to go well.

i'm a little overwhelmed with taking care of the garden and the rest of the outdoors though....
the chickens need to be put in at night (we have 17 of them now, and expecting 6 more to hatch this week). sometimes they don't cooperate, and it's hard to get them in the coop. this morning i saw some coyote poop right in front of the coop, and i also heard howling last night, so the coyotes are definitely around around. if any chicken is out of the coop after dark, they'll be gone in no time...

i also have to pick and water the garden. what's a little more alarming is that there are 3 groundhogs around, i saw them out the kitchen window this morning, and ed left me instruction how to trap them, but he only thought there was one, not three. they've been eating the carrots out of the garden already, and damaged some of the winter squash, so we definitely have to relocate them, but i'm a little intimidated by taking them on all alone. they're pretty big... i'll ask my neighbor shandra for help, she's amazing with stuff like this.

and the yard, which is huge, needs to be mowed, but i think i'll leave this one to ed when he gets home. hopefuly the ticks won't get too bad with the tall grass. hopefuly the chickens will do their job and eat them, that's why we got them, after all....

the kids are really missing ed already, and it's hard for me too, all i can do is hold them and reassure them that he'll be back...

all in all though, i feel good right now, and i'm mostly looking forward to this different week with excitement - i'll let you know how it turns out...
peace

roxi and ricardo's pictures

there are some nice, recent pics of us and the kids on roxi and ricardo's blog. check them out here if you'd like.

a full week

i've had a full week, crazy and fun.

last saturday, it was our friend johnny's birthday, and at the last minute, we decided to go to the beach and celebrate. we went to rhode island, and had a blast. it was hot and sunny, the beach was packed, and there were big waves.
my favorite part of the day was boogie boarding. i had so much fun riding the waves, or at least trying to...
i didn't realize how much work i was doing trying to get out and catch a wave, until next day when my entire body was hurting. i love the feeling of riding a wave, of being carried the power of the surge. that night, i lay in bed and closed my eyes, and i felt like i was still riding effortlessly on top of the waves.

on saturday night, tara came to visit with her children, annika and aron. they spent 5 days with us and it was a lot of fun. things got crazy too, as expected with 4 little kids around, but i think that overall everybody enjoyed this time together. we took the kids to bakerwoods, the little farm/petting zoo we like to go to. they checked out some of the animals, and we went on the gnome trail, where the kids tried to locate various items the the gnomes had "lost". at the end of the trail they each got a prize, which was very exciting.
here are some pictures of the kids:




we also went to the beach, at coventry lake near our house. here are sena and aiyana sharing a towel, after playing in the water
this is it for now, it's time for me to go back home...
peace

training wheels off, baby!

a couple of days ago, sena decided that she was ready to take the training wheels off her bike. ed and i helped her, and she was actually able to ride by herself for 20 ft or so at a time. she learned how to break, but still needs a lot of practice balancing and stearing. she had a few falls, to be expected... but overall, she was really excited and proud of herself. here she is:

aiyana, of course, wanted to take her training wheels off too. only one problem though, she's riding a tricycle. she was pretty upset about this. i had to explain that the wheels off her trycicle do not come off. she got it eventually...

i wanted to post another video, where you can see sena crash (i'll do it next time). things got a little crazy, but nobody got hurt, and overall, i laughed more that night than i have in a long time...

more summer pictures

hanging out after breakfast
aiyana's afternoon nap

and my favorite spot, the place where i feel happiest and most peaceful:

last saturday

last saturday, while i had my time off, ed took the girls to the swap-shop and they each got a "new" bag. of course, they wanted to use them right away. so when they got home, sena begged me to go an a picnic, so that she can take some snacks in her new bag. i kind of had different plans (grocery shopping - that's always optional), but we decided to scrap them and go for the picnic.
sena and aiayana got busy picking peas and the back yard (ed's peas are delicious and plentiful right now), and i cut some carrot sticks and some apple; they packed this, along with some crackers and a blanket in their bags, and off we were. it was a beautiful day, and we went by the fenton river, close to our house.
they skipped around and jumped in the water for a while, then had their snacks, and when they started fighting with each other, i decided it was time for a nap, and we came home.
here are some pictures...

she's already started?

sena says to me today:
mom, i want to go to giovanna's birthday party by myself (giovanna is her good friend, who's turning 5 soon).
i asked, how are you going to get there?
she said, can you drive me there, and drop me off?
then i asked her if aiyana can come and she said yes.
finally, i said, what are you going to do at the party? why don't you want me to come?
she answered very simply and naturally, i just want to hang out with my friends....
which i totally understand and relate to, except that i expected this conversation to happen maybe 10 years from now...

i love it!

getting involved with MAC

recently, i've become involved with a group that advocates for children and families in mansfield (MAC), the town i live in. our local librarian invited me to one of their meetings, and now i've become a member of the group and am loving it. the group recently got a nice grant for coming up with a plan that would outline how we can better support the health and well-being of families with young children in our area.

i'm really excited about being part of this! in the past few years, especially since i had children, i've become acutely aware of the importance community plays in our lives. raising children in isolation can be very difficult, and puts a huge strain on a family. very few of us are lucky enough to have family nearby that can help support us especially in those first few years when the kids are young and there are so many demands on the parents. so the role of the community is key.

what i'm really excited about with this group is that they seem really open to different voices, diffrent experiences, different points of views. they also plan to address a variety of issues, such as health, education, transportation, housing, etc, and link them all together into something viable for the community. i see a lot of potential, like bike-paths, for instance. i think that if we had more bikepaths linking key points in our area, such as the library, general store, community center, etc, it would make it easier for people to be out and about, connecting with each other and having fun without using their cars, and without risking their lives riding on the road, as is currently the case. i'm also really excited about the prospect of getting home-schoolers and public schools more involved with each other, using each other's resources, being aware of each other. mostly though, i'm excited about the opportunity of making a difference on a local level, in the lives of people i know, where i can see and evaluate the results.

i already commited myself quite a bit to this group, it's the biggest commitment i've made outside of my family since i quit work at pratt. but ed's being really supportive, he can see that this is close to my heart, and he also believes that the project has a lot of potential.
so we'll see how it goes...

hard time

oh my god, i'm having such a hard time this week! i can't pull myself out of it. on some level i don't even want to, i just want to go through it and figure it out, but it's so hard with everything going on, and all the responsibilities i have. i feel so impatient and irritable around the kids, and they, especially sena, have been pushing me to the limit in the past couple of days. i don't know if she's picking up on my discomfort, or if she's dealing with her own stuff, probably both, but she's been so demanding and dispespecful...

anyway, there's been a lot more than just the kids though. i feel so sad. part of my sadness i can see clearly and part i cannot. last sunday, we went to rhode island to visit ed's family, and it really hit me how alienated i am from mainstream society. my lifestyle and interests are so different from most people, that i find it hard to connect except on a most superficial level, which i'm not interested in. so that's part of my sadness for sure, but there's more to it, and i'm not sure just what that is...

i've had some nice moments too in the past few days, one was on monday when the girls and i went strawberry picking. it was misting lightly, and the sky was overcast, and i thought it would be perfect for picking since most people come when it's sunny. we were the only ones in the field, and picked 6 lbs in half an hour. sena and aiyana both did really well, they were respectful with the plants, not pulling too hard or stepping over them, and they picked quite a bit.
on monday night we had another beautiful, powerful storm, but since everyone was awake at the time, my experience was different from last time. i enjoyed it nevertheless.
today, it's been up and down. i did some weeding in the garden, which made me feel good. but i also had a couple of outbursts with sena and now i feel depleted. i hope my mom can take them for a while so i can get some time alone. i really need it...

peace

some more pictures

sunrise at our house
weaving....
sena, helping to plant winter squash
ayana in the garden, getting her scissors ready to pick salad greens

ed and aiyana on the front porch, watching the rain

peace