By your side

Have a great weekend, everybody!

Minoan Goddess

This picture is of a Minoan goddess statue, currently in the Louvre. She is from prehistory, and very lovely. She has her hand on her heart, and a knowing, benevolent smile on her lips. They call her Lady of Auxerre.

I am freaking out a little, because when I found recently, I felt like I was looking at a picture of myself, but in stone, since this has become a favorite meditation for me, with the hand on the heart.

Here's a picture I took last march. I know it's a coincidence, but still, I feel a little like she's reflecting from prehistory, validating something.

Peace 

Glimmer

I hope you have a beautiful day, no matter where you are in life. There's always beauty, even in the darkness days. Remember that when you're not feeling strong, and don't let anyone or anything take away your ability to see it.

Peace 

Walk in beauty

Inspired by Princess Mononoke

These days we all want everything 

We've been told we deserve it 

We live in chronic scarcity

But have more than we need 

We always fear being deprived

It's all done by design 

In this system that profits by

Our sickness and unhappiness 

We're taught that competition is the way 

Only the fittest survive 

Where has this brought us?

There's nothing here to win my friend 

I quit playing this game 

I'll fight you only for one thing 

That you forget these lies 

Refresh your mind, your heart 

So you can find the love,

The peace you're looking for 

And live in harmony again 

While there's still time,

Reflect upon these things,

Quiet your mind 

Honor your life and every other life 

Take only what you need 

Give what you can 

And may you walk in beauty

This beautiful tree

I feel happy to be able to be near this tree every day.

Shelter me in your beauty

For I am weary 

The stories I've been told,

The tricks that I have learnt,

Let me forget.

It's here in the light 

That I will wait 

Till I see clearly 

What I am.

I ask for guidance

That I may do some good

An opportunity

Rain can bring nourishment and relief, or it can bring destruction and devastation. Just like us.

Presence

Real presence can be more healing than any words.

Peace 

Beneath

The answers

I found this to be true in my life, but of course, the hard part is waiting patiently for the answers to arise, when I really want them right now!!!

The flower in the picture is a nasturtium I picked to decorate a salad I made last Sunday. I love nasturtiums, and the bees and humming birds love them too. Speaking of which, we had a resident humming bird that came to all my flowers, and it was so much fun to hear him and see him every day. I called him Hummy. The whole family would give me reports of whether they saw Hummy and what he was doing. But last week he stopped coming. It was his time to fly south, and as I thought about him on his journey, I felt like a little part of me went away with him. He was my Hummy and also a wild animal, and I wonder what places he's seeing now, and maybe other people will come to love him too. I hope so, and wish him safe travels.

Peace 

No need

Contentment

Beautiful morning.

The feel of fall is in the air.

Sitting here with my coffee.

All bundled up and cozy.

Too slow to think, and plan, and organize.

Content to simply be. 

The silence in my head -Contentment.

I love this time of year so much! Thank goodness we're done with that heat...

Peace 

What does Nike believe in?

"Believe in something. Even if it means sacrificing everything" sounds great, but ask yourself what does Nike believe in. Probably whatever sells. 

You don't have to go out and buy Nike in order to believe in or support Kaepernick's message of ending racism and police violence.

Not trying to be a downer, and I do think that there are good aspects about Kaepernick and his message getting so much publicity through Nike, but I also think it's important to think for yourself in a critical way (remember the sweat shops).

Yes, we should definitely do everything we can to stop racism and police violence. But we don't need to go out and buy Nike in order to do that.

These are my thoughts.

Peace 

A nice thing

Last weekend, Ed and the girls took me out to Kathmandu, a Nepalese Restaurant here in town, and got me flowers and a little gift to celebrate that I sold almost all my books (only 5 left!). That was really nice of them, and it made me feel special. Unfortunately, we didn't take a picture just then, so I'll post this one of the four of us from earlier this year, when we were in California.

Peace

Love in action

I saw this phrase, "Love in action" recently, and I thought, how appropriate. Like Goethe said:

"Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do." I feel that the same applies to love.

One thing that's been bringing me joy and satisfaction, and that has been a small way for me to put love in action this season, is the little garden I created.

It cost me next to nothing, money wise, since everything is reused. I spent peanuts for seeds. It cost me time wise, but I can honestly say I loved every second. And the rewards have been amazing: so much beauty and peace.

One unexpected aspect that I absolutely love is all the wildlife my garden has been attracting: humming birds, all kinds of bees and bumble bees, dragon flies; there have been 4 hawks too coming really close, and just letting us know they're here every day, but I can't say that they're here for the garden, although who knows?

I feel like all I did was plant some seeds and cared for them, and it gave rise to a whole mini ecosystem, which took on its own life. 

I am so grateful, and I really encourage you to plant something and make your own little space, and watch life thrive. But please never use sprays, pesticides, etc. You don't need them and you'd be creating more harm than good, so in that case, better not to do anything at all.

I hope my sharing this was useful to you in some way. 

Peace 

Lovely nonetheless

I was inspired to write this little poem by the view from inside a little shed at a friend's house.

I have discovered a small window 

To the outside;

Been trapped inside this darkness 

For too long;

And what I see,

Though not what I expected,

Maybe not what I wanted,

Is lovely, nonetheless 

Peace 

Open wide the doors of understanding

The things they said would bring you joy 

Have only made you suffer

You've built your expectations,

And worked so hard

Molded yourself into 

Whatever was required

To get that job, that house, that body 

To go on that vacation

And when you finally got

What you were looking for

You lived in fear

Of losing it

And you became its servant.

Do not berate yourself 

For falling in this trap

Through which we all must walk 

Before we stop believing 

But ask instead,

What truly brings you joy

Decide that for yourself;

And as for me, I say

Try taking out the "you"

And open wide

The doors of understanding 

And let that be the guide 

The river

That feeling

of driving with the windows down. I love that.

This love

To feel how good it is to let it flow through you, but to not try to grasp- that is so hard, so hard....

Peace 

Heat out in the field and poem of the day

It's been crazy hot out in the field this past few days. It feels good to take a little break from harvesting, and sit in the shade with some cold water. On days like these, nothing tastes better than water, and I am so grateful to have access to this clean, beautiful, life giving medicine. 

On a side note, I think it's pretty funny that people who work inside get more freaked out about the heat by looking at the weather and listening to the forecast, than people who actually work outside. It's a generalization, of course, but I did notice that....

And, poem of the day...

Peace 

Standing at the edge

I am grateful for this much needed guidance from Joan Halifax. I particularly associate with the feeling of oscillating between inspiration and futility, as she describes in the passage below, and I am grateful that she also talks of a way to navigate through all that.

From Lion's Roar - the whole article is great:

https://lionsroar.us7.list-manage.com/track/click?u=59fbde8a5794d670ab3a8a1a0&id=62c226d607&e=135d1d1730

"When we learn to recognize the Edge States in our lives, we can stand on the threshold of change and see a landscape abundant with wisdom, tenderness, and basic human kindness. At the same time, we can see a desolate terrain of violence, failure, and futility. Having the strength to stand at the edge, we can draw lessons from places of utter devastation—the charnel grounds—of refugee camps, earthquake-destroyed areas, prisons, cancer wards, homeless encampments, and war zones, and at the same time be resourced by our basic goodness and the basic goodness of others. This is the very premise of coming to know intimately the Edge States: How we develop the strength to stand at the edge and have a wider view, a view that includes all sides of the equation of life. How we find life-giving balance between oppositional forces. How we find freedom at the edge. And how we discover that the alchemy of suffering and compassion brings forth the gold of our character, the gold of our hearts."

Adapted from Standing at The Edge: Finding Freedom Where Fear and Courage Meet, by Roshi Joan Halifax.

Peace 

Unlearn

Unlearn, and end the separation

Peace 

What to let go, and what to hold on to

I wrote this after the sweat lodge last Saturday. 

As you shed your layers,

And struggle with 

What to let go 

And what to hold on to

Don't think about yourself 

But rather,

How you can be of use 

Let that give you direction

And feel the pressure lighten.

Enjoy this beautiful day!

Peace 

Strong, caring and committed

Sena

 She made it up the pegboard at least twice today.

Peace

I want to know you

Picture was taken by Sena. I wrote the poem- it's called "I want to know you".

Imprisoned in a tank we put you in,

You're still majestic,

And you can still remind us 

How much we lost 

When we believed

That we are separate.

And those of us who think

We're here to save you

Should see that in all truth 

It's you who's saving us.

We look at you from the outside,

And think we know you;

And when you look at us,

What do you see?

D'you see the loneliness, the pain 

And how we treat each other?

Do you believe, and do you trust,

Despite what we have done,

That we still can do better?

I want to break the barriers

I want to set you free 

Like you have set me free 

I want to know you, thank you,

If I could... 

For the healing of men

As well as women. Let's be more real with each other. This video made me cry. Very much worth watching.

https://www.facebook.com/thegrumpyguru/videos/1170503729756515/

There's some stereotyping in this for sure, but there is also truth, so let's be generous and see what's good in it. Let's have an honest look at ourselves and see how we could move forward in a beneficial way.

Peace

Emerge

The opportunity and possibility

For something different to emerge 

From your pain and failure 

Is more alive and real

Than the stagnation of any certainty.

Farming taught me how to live

Wait for the right season and the right conditions;

Plant your seeds;

Nurture them;

Water them- not too much and not too little - just enough;

Prune what is withered or no longer needed;

If your first try fails, as it often does,

Give life another chance-

Plant again!

Pay attention and do what is needed when it's needed;

No plant thrives in isolation,

So plant companions and encourage beneficial relationships;

Let the plant go to seed so that new life can start again;

Give thanks;

Enjoy and share the bounty.

That's how you grow and spread beautiful things,

Within, and all around you.

Peace 

I'd rather have the questions

You can keep the answers 

I'd rather have the questions 

I like the liveliness 

And sparkle 

Of the wide open road 

Here's my exciting news

I am so happy to tell you that so far I have raised enough money through the sale of my poetry book, Fertile Ground: Beauty and Brokenness, to donate to all three organizations I said I would donate to. Thank you so much for doing this with me!!! 

All of you who have bought my book, I hope you enjoyed it, and if you didn’t really like it, then at least know that your money is supporting some amazing work. Here are some more details of the donations and the work they support:

• $100 to Province Town Center for Coastal Studies: I specified that this money is to be used specifically to support their Right Whale Emergency Initiative. Right Whales are on the brink of extinction, unless there is immediate action to prevent it, which is the goal of this initiative.
• $100 to Natural Resources Defense Council, who is always doing amazing work, and just recently had some great successes in court against the current administration's proposed rollbacks of environmental protections.
• $100 to Marine Mammal Alliance Nantucket who is literally on the ground, or on the beach, saving animals that are injured and stranded, and also doing a great job in their education efforts about ocean related issues.

If you haven’t yet, but would like to buy my book and continue to support these organizations, I still have some copies left, and here’s how you can get them:

• At the farm - Shundahai Farm, 253 Maple Rd, Mansfield CT
• At the Willimantic Food Coop.
• On Etsy https://www.etsy.com/shop/shundahaishop

Please feel free to email me with any questions or comments, and thank you so much again for doing this with me!!!

Peace

Farmhouse

Enjoying a lovely day with my plants and animals and books. Wishing you peace and contentment and may you receive what you need. 

Oh, and stay tuned for some exciting news about my book!!!

True love is redemption

Dedicated to the natural world and to all those who are trying.

Peace 

Humming bird lessons

Like the humming bird in this poem, the little things that happen around us are bridges to getting us outside our heads and connected to life. We all suffer, and we suffer alone. Yet just in that fact, we are also connected. And we are connected in many other ways too. The practice is to stop believing our own made up narratives, and start perceiving what's really true. This is really hard and it takes a long time, and I can't tell you how it ends because I am still very much in process.

Peace 

How fear turns

First fear turns to rage 

As you realize how much

You've robbed yourself of 

Those times you were afraid

Then fear turns to sadness 

As you grieve 

For yourself 

And everyone else misguided 

And still afraid 

Then fear turns to freedom 

As somehow you let go 

One day, when you are ready 

And simply live 

When fear turns to loving 

You start to see in others 

As you have in yourself 

That we're complete and lovely

Despite our brokenness

----

And an unrelated picture that I like.

I am so grateful for the animals in my daily life.

Peace 

Pent-up things

Peace 

Transform

Rainy day, I'm inside looking out at some of the things that make me happy. In my personal experience, nothing I ever bought at the store brought me as much happiness as the relationships I've built by giving of myself and my time. Whether those relationships be with plants, animals, people. So if you're depressed and are having a hard time, go outside, plant something, care for an animal. Creativity also helps if you're feeling down. Use whatever difficulties you're dealing with as fuel to create something beautiful and good. We can always do that. 

Real work

My mom planted these lilies at my house years ago, and since then they've grown and bloomed and brought me so much beauty and joy every year. It's the same with our actions. Sometimes, something we say or do plants a seed in someone, and it can stay with them and grow in them and really make a difference over time. We are always sowing seeds around us, whether they be seeds of understanding, joy, love, hate, confusion, discord. So be mindful of your words and actions, and choose carefully what seeds you sow. This is your real work in the world and this is what you leave behind. 

Peace 

Be the path

Peace

Tahlequah

Tahlequah is the Orca mother who has been pushing her dead baby around for 10 days or possibly more now in the Pacific North West. The Orca population in that area is in very bad shape due to starvation and environmental contamination (PCBs) which is affecting their reproduction.

Earlier this year, on our west coast trip, Sena and Ed met Ken Bacomb, the researcher in San Juan Islands featured in the movie Sonic Sea, who has devoted the last 40 years of his life trying to help these Orcas. He was very depressed about the situation.

I wrote this poem for the mother:

Peace 

Good

My dad is back home safe after his trip to Romania; my mom's meds seem to help her depression and she's also taking other steps to help herself, which I am so proud of her for. Ed and the girls are doing well. And I've been very hot and sticky doing my work outside, but good and grateful. My little spot on the porch with all the flowers I've been tending is making me very happy, and I think my current read and meditation practice are helpful too. Here are some pictures:

Brad Warner is funny and irreverent and can also be offensive. But I like his books a lot and find his insights helpful.

How to meditate: lessons from Cookie 

Sunset in the pasture 

My flowers are thriving. Aren't they beautiful?


Peace 

Great Silence

Go out and do your work. Do what you can do, give what you can give.

Each breath a death, and each breath a rebirth

She said nothing I feel is wrong

The guilt, the fear, the heaviness

The joy, the love, the awe

All labels we've created 

They're all the same to her 

Different reflections of the whole 

She said to be with it

This energy that needs to move

That threatens to destroy 

She said just let it be 

And watch 

She said to hold the pain, the joy, the hope, the love 

She said that I could do it 

She said she's always there

beside me, beneath me, inside me, around me

She said that every breath I take 

Is like a new beginning 

My life starting again

She said in each fresh moment 

Just do what you can do 

And give what you can give 

No more, no less 

Lighten your load. Let go as much as you can of your expectations, guilt, fear, shame. These are concepts you've been imprinted with that are weighing you down. Find out what's real for yourself. Life is your greatest ally in showing you what's true. With every step you take, and if you can't take any, then with every breath, you have another chance to let go of what you think you know, who you think you are, and begin again. Go on, do what you can, and do it now.  

I was inspired to write this stuff above after a beautiful and difficult sweat lodge last night. I had a hard time pretty much all day yesterday, and I felt so exhausted by the end of the lodge that I could barely walk when I got out. My steps were uncertain and deliberate, and all I wanted was to lay against the earth and feel it against me for a long time. That is what I did, and that's when I felt the weight lifted off me, as I realized that all this stuff we carry, we can just let it go. Over and over, as long as we're alive and still breathing, each moment is an opportunity to let go and start again. So I wanted to share this insight, and I hope you find it a little bit useful.

Fertile Ground: Beauty and Brokenness

I set up an Etsy shop yesterday to sell my poetry book online, and I am so excited to have had my first sale today out of California!

I've sold about 15 copies too at the farm over the past couple of weeks. Thank you so much for everyone's support!

Here's a link to my etsy shop, and below is the book description. Let me know if you have any suggestions or comments.

https://www.etsy.com/shop/shundahaishop

How do you hold both the beauty and brokenness of your life, without shutting down parts of yourself, without becoming hard, or callous? How do you keep giving and loving after you have experienced the sadness, hurt, the pain and darkness of life? These are the major threads that run through the poems in my book, Fertile Ground: Beauty and Brokenness. The poems are generally short, simple, and raw. They are borne of real experience, and seek to reach out and express the rawness of that experience, without adornment.

The book costs $15 and you can buy it at the farm, or at the Willimantic Food Coop or on etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/shundahaishop

I am donating 100% of profits to these three environmental organizations:

Natural Resource Defense Council: Defending our air, water, communities, and wild places.

Provincetown Center for Coastal Studies: Marine research, rescue and education since 1976.

Marine Mammal Alliance Nantucket: Responding to stranded and injured marine mammals on Nantucket, and providing public education about the ocean.

The book is 77 pages long and it measures approximately 5.3" by 8".

It was printed at Gulemo Printers, a small local print shop in Willimantic, CT.

There are 2 poems on most pages; some pages have only one poem per page, and a few poems spread over two pages.

There are several color pictures, all of them originals.

There's a short bio at the end.

Thank you so much for your interest!

Humming bird medicine

This beautiful little friend has been visiting my flowers every morning while I have my coffee on the porch. I looked up humming bird medicine and here's what I found from manataka.org:

"These magical beings are most often viewed as a symbol of joy, happiness and love and come to awaken us to the beauty of the present moment. ... The hummingbird is the creature that opens the heart."

I love the noise humming bird makes as it flies or hovers above flowers, and I love how vivacious they are. I also read that humming bird cannot be caged or caught and confined in any way. It will die unless it is free. 

Peace 

Still you search

And still, you're searching for a reason to go on 

After you've seen the show 

for what it is 

And you have lost all strength 

to uphold the pretense.

You've searched the books

And all their answers 

are not your answers.

You've met the teachers 

And found that only those 

Who say they do not know 

Have anything to offer.

And still you search 

While shedding pieces of yourself 

Until one day there's nothing,

The day when you break free 

And find the answers that nobody can give you 

Are who you are 

This is for my mom and all those struggling with depression and other mental health issues. I hope the new medication and all the changes she's trying to include in her daily life help my mom feel better, and I hope too for the rest of us that we get the help we need to be healthy.

Peace