Leave what you don't need

It’s a beautiful, sunny day, and Opal seems to be in labor. Another little calf is on the way. We moved all the cows to the birthing area, which is at the barns in the back of our property. Opal is so big, Sena said she would not be surprised if she has five calves. Aiyana is excited that Jet, who is almost 2 months-old now, will have a little cousin to play with. The mama cows and Olive the heifer, are usually too dignified, and too comfortable to join in his antics.

The CSA started last week, and all went well. The crops are doing well overall. As usual, there are setbacks, insects mostly at this time of year, but we have some ways to deal with them. Leafminer has been bad on spinach and chard this year, and cutworm has taken down quite a few lettuces. We’re replanting every week in the case of lettuces, and for leafminer we’re covering crops and have tried introducing a predator wasp to reduce their population. These measures seem to be working to some degree. I know that this is a particularly bad year for both leafminer and cutworm, and I heard of cutworm taking down entire plantings at a time, so I can’t complain too much with our situation.

Last night I was finally able to go again to the sweat lodge. It seems like the past few times I tried, there was always some kids’ activity going on, either Karate or Gymnastics. I am starting to feel like our kids are overscheduled, like everyone else, but they strongly object at the mere suggestion of cutting back, so I keep going along with the situation as is.

The lodge was beautiful as always. The fire, the intense heat, the rocks, the herbs, the ceremonial atmosphere – being in the presence of all that was like a soothing balm to my stressed out body and mind. I am so grateful for having this in my life.

One thing I’ve been thinking about is what my good friend K. said at the lodge: “Leave what you don’t need”. It seems so simple, but I do have a very hard time practicing it. What she meant is leave behind your anger, your resentment, and all of that which is not helpful to you or others. That way you will walk more lightly and more joyfully.

I know that I carry with me much that I do not need. Ed will make a comment that hits me the wrong way, and I carry that resentment for many hours. Or something stressful happens with too many things going on at once (this is pretty much how it goes every day), and that stress stays with me long after the situation is over.

Most of the time I have a hard time leaving behind the things that do not serve. But sometimes, somehow, I am able to shed any resentment, stress, or resistance that I carry, and instantly I feel lighter and so much better. It’s a good skill to practice.

Peace

It's been so incredibly dry this spring! I am irrigating every day and can barely keep up with the needs of the crops and the orchard. We had one inch of very welcome rain last week, but that was it for the past month. Very abnormal.

I went to a talk on bees and native pollinators last night, given by a well known entomologist from CT Experiment Station. Very depressing. I knew that honey bees are in trouble. It's been years that we've been hearing about colony collapse, and right here at our farm, on average only 50% of hives make it through the winter. Sometimes less. But what I found most depressing is seeing the numbers. In particular, there was an analysis of bee pollen that showed a cocktail of chemical poisons, originating from different pesticides. If they are ending up in bee pollen, I know that they're ending up in so many other places. In fact, I keep coming to the dark realization that we have poisoned our environment, and the fundamental elements that our lives depend on: we have polluted the water we drink, the air we breathe, and everything is suffering including us. In my ongoing research on Aiyana's Hashimoto, I found that autoimmune diseases have reached unsurpassed levels. Almost everyone knows someone who has Multiple Sclerosis, or Chron's Disease, or Lupus, or Type 1 Diabetes, or Hashimoto's, or Celiac, and so on. I do believe that the rise of these types of diseases, the ongoing pollution of our food, water and air with toxic chemicals, our crazy lifestyle, as well as the use of toxic materials in everything around us from plastics to household furniture, go together. I feel angry and hopeless with all this. I feel like we humans are a scourge to the earth and the other life forms we share it wit. I feel sad that we have made it so hard for our children to grow up healthy.

I don't like to feel this way, so I focus on what I can do. I have to do something. If I can't contribute in a positive way to life, then what am I doing here?

For now all I can think of doing is keep farming. Keep doing it in a good way. Plant flowers to support native pollinators. Don't spray pesticides even at the risk of losing the crop. Take good care of the cows, so they can keep the soil in good health and keep us healthy as well. Talk to people about what I've learned and what I found to be true.

Lately I've been carrying around in my pocket a little piece of paper with 4 things written on it. I look at it when I feel overwhelmed, or when I need inspiration, or just a change of focus. I've only had it with me for a week, but I found it helpful so far. These are my 4 things:

1. Do one thing at a time, do it well (this is for when I feel overwhelmed by looking at my list and noticing the 20 things that have to get done before lunch)
2. Gratitude (this one helps when I feel negative. I just refocus on things I am grateful for, like my children, being healthy, being able to work, being in a war free zone, etc)
3. Joy (I think of this as an internal state that is fundamental, although sometimes overshadowed by worry and anxiety, yet always there to reconnect with)
   
4. Hope (despite what I wrote in the beggining of this post, I do have a lot of hope, because I see goodness in so many places, and because I know that the Life force is strong and will prevail over every obstacle).

Peace

Recent pictures of cows, family and the farm

Sorry for the poor quality of the pics. Our camera is on its last leg, and I don't have time to edit and make them as pretty as I'd like. But you get the idea.

 

Jasmine and Jet

All our cows

A little outing with the girls at Bluff Point

Dipping their toes in the Ocean first time this year

Sisters

Playing on a Sunday afternoon.Some people balk at all the dandelions. I think they're very pretty and the cows love them.

Aiyana with Ed

Practicing Karate

Very happy cows grazing the rye/vetch/clover winter cover crop

The orchard

Apples in blossom

The apple blossoms make the whole farm smell delightful

Peace

Sena's letter from President Obama

Sena received a letter from  President Obama, in response to the letter she sent him in February (previously posted here). She was very excited when she saw an envelope from the White House addressed to her personally.
Peace

Pictures from our land in Willington

Ed's been working on our land in Willington, getting a portion of it it ready for planting. We're planning to grow some crops over there this year on about a third of an acre. The rest will be in pasture for the cows.

This picture shows Ed standing in the portion that he prepared for vegetables.

This is me sitting under a beautiful old oak tree, which we think is at least 200 years old. The woman who owned the land before us had her ashes scattered near this tree. She was a  school teacher and a farmer, tough and independent and, we were told, quite outspoken. She loved her land, and it's too bad that we never had a chance to meet her before she died. I hope that she would have approved of what we are planning to do with the land.

Here is Ed standing by a pile of boulders he took out of the field he plowed above. I told him that if he ever looks for a job again, all he has to do is put this picture on his resume. But he didn't want to take credit, he said it was the hydraulics on his tractor that did the work.

Sena and Aiyana were very excited to discover an old turntable in the old house on the property, where the ex-owner used to live. The house is in so-so shape. My parents plan to do some work on it and stay there when they come to CT.

There's also an old barn on the property.

Peace

It is so beautiful out right now, a real gift of a day!
Forsythias, magnolias, azaleas, daffodils, hyacinths are all in bloom. In the woods, the skunk cabbage is bright green, and the understory is leafed out. The big trees, like maples, are only just starting to show that brilliant yellow-green which announces the unfurling of leaves. Many birds sing morning and night, and it just feels so good to be alive right now.
Because of the prolonged cold this spring, our season is at least a month behind last year, but the past couple of days have been much better, with temps near 70F and bright sunshine. So things are starting to look better.

The grass in the pasture is very green and lush, but not tall enough to put the cows out yet. We'll probably do it in the next two weeks.
Jasmine has been very good. Ed is working on our new field at our other property, so he hasn't been around to do the milking with me in the morning. I asked Sena to help. She is just watching me for now from outside the fence, to make sure all goes well, as I did not trust Jasmine enough to let Sena in at milking time. But I am starting to relax, because Jasmine is pretty much back to being her old sweet self. She's giving us plenty of milk too, without any kicking or any other problems.

After the rocky start with milking Jasmine, we seem to have found a nice routine that works for everyone. We separate Jet and Jasmine for 12 hours overnight. We put him in a little pen where she can lick him and be right next to him if she wants to, but he cannot nurse. We don't want him to nurse at night, so that we can get a decent amount of milk next morning. After we milk Jasmine in the morning, we let Jet out and he spends the rest of the day with his mom, nursing as much as he wants, until we put him in at night again. Jet seems to like his little pen, and he goes and lies in there even when we don't put him in. And Jasmine likes her treats, which we give her each morning at milking time. And we like the milk. And the milking experience. As with Opal, I find milking very enjoyable and relaxing (after we get passed the kicking phase).

Jet is still eating hay, we see him once in a while, but does not seem to have any more issues with breathing. So I guess he figured out how to eat it right. He is super adorable, but Jasmine does not like people to be near him for too long, so we don't get to snuggle with him as much as we'd like.

I don't have great pics of him yet. So I'll post these, which I took a few days ago. Here he is nursing after we finished milking Jasmine.

Peace

Jet meets Vet

Jasmine's been a lot better with us in the past few days. She is almost back to her sweet old self. Still protects her baby, but has not tried to charge, butt, or kick us any more. The milking is going well too - this morning she gave us almost three quarters of a gallon.

Little bull Jet is keeping us on our toes though. We had quite a scare with him. We noticed a few days ago that his breathing seemed loud and labored, like he had just run really hard or exerted himself in some major way. He was nursing fine and seemed to have pretty good energy otherwise. I called the vet and he said to keep and eye on him. He thought it could be the way his nasal passage is shaped that makes him sound that way, which is apparently common in bulls, and which resolves itself in time. But he said to take his temperature just to make sure it's not an infection. We watched him for the rest of the day and it seemed like the breathing was getting worse. We took his temp, which was not as easy as it sounds, since we had to contend with his protective mama, separate her from him, and then hold him down for two long minutes with the thermometer stuck up his butt until we got a stable reading. Poor guy, he kept trying to poop out the thermometer, and his breathing sounded even worse as he struggled to get away from us. It turned out that he did have a temp. By this time, of course it was too late to call the vet, so we had to wait till next morning. I thought the poor guy sounded terrible with his labored breathing. Of course I had to do some research and found horror stories on the internet about calf pneumonia and such things. I went back to the barn just as it was getting dark and checked on him again - he was still breathing hard, and was not getting up to nurse. I went to bed worried that night. Next morning we got in touch with the vet and scheduled an appointment. When we went to see the cows, Jet sounded worse than the night before, and now he had foamy drool around his mouth. I watched him for quite a while, and he seemed lethargic, kind of just stood there by his mom (at least he was standing...), but did not skip or run as he had done a couple of days before.

Finally, the vet and her assistant came. The vet though he was the cutest calf they'd ever seen, and she also said that he sounded bad. She started to examine him and put her finger in his mouth to check for cleft palate. She got a puzzled look on her face and then slowly, as we watched, pulled out of his mouth a big disgusting looking thing. It was a slimy blob of matted hay and straw. As soon as she pulled it out, Jet's breath went to normal and he literally bounced back to his normal self. The vet seemed quite astonished with the turn of the situation, and thought that it was very bizarre, and said she had never seen anything like it before. She asked us if we would let her have the disgusting blob she pulled out as a specimen for her collection of weird vet stuff. We said yes. Everyone was most relieved, and amused, and bewildered by the whole thing. Mostly we were happy to see little Jet bouncy and full of vigor again, and breathing easily. It turns out that part of that blob was going down his trachea, blocking it partially. It was also making it hard for him to nurse. Poor little guy, he must've been so uncomfortable, yet had no way of telling anyone...

The vet said to keep an eye on him. He is too young to be eating hay, but apparently he was eager to be like his mom or something, and tried to eat it anyway. We're supposed to check his mouth (and temp) periodically to make sure nothing else gets stuck in there. I did see him chewing on some hay this morning again, crazy little guy. We'll have to hold him down tomorrow and check him. Not fun for anyone.

Here's a picture of the thing the vet pulled out of Jet's mouth. It looks like a huge tadpole or a horseshoe crab. It's so weird.

 And here's happy Jet after we got the thing out, prancing behind his mom like nothing ever happened

Peace

Beautiful spring days are upon us

I love the sweet moments when I am watching Sena and Aiyana be happy doing simple things like riding their scooters.

 Sitting in the field with my friend LT.

Jasmine had her calf last Wednesday, a little bull named Jet. He is jet black like his mom, and very adorable. Jasmine's mothering instincts are strong, and she's been very protective since he was born. She was so friendly with all of us before the birth, to the point that last a few days before the birth I was lying down with her in the pasture, resting my head on her. But after the birth, she's been much more aggressive with us, and charged at us to tell us to stay away from the baby. Cows are prey animals, and this behavior is normal for them, especially at the time of birth. Still, despite knowing that, I find it difficult to deal with and adapt to her being so different. As of right now, we are not letting the Sena and Aiyana go to the cows by themselves anymore, and Ed and I are also only going together.

We started milking Jasmine yesterday, and so far it has not been easy. She gets very anxious when she's separated from her baby, even if it's for a few minutes. She kicked at us while we were trying to milk, and put her foot in the bucket once. Milking under stress is not conducive to letdown either, so her flow is restricted. Fortunately, we know now that cows are creatures of habit and routine, and after we go out there a few more times and get her into a milking routine, we expect things to improve a lot. Also, Jasmine's hormones should calm down over time, and hopefully she'll go back to being sweet and friendly.

I got my quince trees and planted them last week. They're close to the house, right where we can see them from the kitchen window. The girls and I named the trees Mamaia and Bunica for my two grandmothers.

My breathing has been much improved over the past two weeks. I've been taking the supplement I wrote about before, and I think it made a big difference. I still feel stressed at times, but I feel like my body handles it better, which is what the B vitamins and herbs in the supplement are supposed to do. In case anyone is interested, it is called Daily Stress Formula, and it is made by Pure Encapsulations. You can get it through a Naturopath, or you can buy it here, like I did.

Sena and Aiyana had a Karate competition in New York and their school's demo team won first place. You can see their performance here.

Peace

Last Friday I delivered some greens to Fiddleheads in New London, and afterwards treated myself to a little time by the Ocean. I had my tea, and I sat on a big rock out on the end of a pier, listening to the waves, end enjoying the misty atmosphere. It was quite restorative.

On the weekend, we had an young orchardist come help us prune out apple trees. He was a very inspiring man, and we asked him to be our consultant for the whole season, which he gladly agreed to. I feel like we need to do a much better job caring for the orchard than we have been in the past couple of years, and he will be the right person to guide us through the main tasks of the season.

Jasmine is bagging up, and Sena and Aiyana are very excited about the upcoming birth. We expect her to calve towards the end of next week.

I wrote a summary of my research on Hashimoto's, and put together a specific action plan for Aiyana's treatment. We will be talking about it to the naturopath on Monday when we go to see him. I want him to do a whole bunch of tests to help us find the root cause of her auto-immunity. I think he'll work with us.

My breathing problems and anxiety have been much better in the past three days. I started taking a supplement for adrenal support, containing significant amounts of B vitamins as well as several herbs known as adaptogens, which help the body cope with stress. I think it's working. I feel like an edge has been taken off my overall state of being since I started these supplements, but it's only been two days, so too early to draw any hard conclusions.

I got peas and beets in the ground outside this week, despite the wet and cold. Next week a lot of plantings are scheduled - I hope the weather will cooperate.

Tomorrow I am going to the sweat lodge. I missed the last two times but I am determined not to miss this one. I look forward to the fire and heat, and being close to the earth.

Peace

They're here!

Snowdrops, the harbingers of spring, are out!

Sena and Aiayana ran out (in costume), when I told them.

Sena said "Mama, you know you take a picture of them every year". That's right.
Peace

April 1st and sunny!

Got Aiyana's blood tests redone, one month after starting her on thyroid medication, which was last week. The results were encouraging in a way. Her thyroid hormones are almost back in the normal range, which is what the meds are supposed to do. Her antibodies are still high, suggesting that her body is still attacking her thyroid. That is what I'm working on. Her doctor brushes this off, saying they'll always be high. She didn't even want to test for them in the first place bc. she says there's nothing they can do about it. Of course this infuriated me, because I know there are things you can do, it's just not what medical doctors have been taught about. Anyway, I persuaded her to have the antibodies tested again, and she reluctantly agreed.
I'm still working on figuring out the root cause of what's triggering her antibodies, and I think it will be a long journey. In any case, I need to be able to test her blood regularly, to see which changes are making a difference and which are not, and I hope to find a doctor that will work with me in monitoring this.

My anxiety / breathing problems are getting better overall. I still have times when I feel really tight, but I think they're getting less. I've been taking vitamin D, cod liver oil, Vitamin C and St.John's Wort as supplements. I also ordered a stress relief herbal formula, which I hope will help further. I cut my caffeine by half, which means that my daily cup of cofee is watered down some, and I only have black tea occasionally. I've made a spreadsheet to organize meal preparation, and made this very time-consuming task more efficient. I made a decision not to worry about Aiyana, but instead spend that energy to do things. Make a plan of action, and just do one thing at a time monitoring the differences. This is where working with a competent and cooperative doctor is key.

Yesterday Sena and Aiyana and I went biking. We left out bikes at the edge of the woods and then went hiking. We stopped by the edge of a pond, and the girls played. I sat by the water and then laid down on a large rock. I kept falling in and out of sleep. It was so peaceful, hearing the wind rustle through branches and  different birds call. I always felt that laying on the ground is helpful, but yesterday in particular, I almost could feel the tension leaving me as I lay there.

Our worker started this week, and that has been a great relief for me. He's taken over my greenhouse and field tasks, and now my main concern in that respect is to organize and manage the tasks. This weekend we have a young horticulturalist coming over to do some tree pruning. I look forward to that.

The cows are doing well. Opal is huge, I feel like she may give birth before June, when her due date is. Training Olive is going pretty well, although she still has her defiant young cow attitude. She pushes her mom around a lot and has become the dominant of the two. She's not dominant with us, because we won't allow her, and the training is preventing that. Jasmine is dominant over Olive, which is good, because she needs another cow to put her in her place. And Opal is dominant over Jasmine. Now you know something about cow hierarchy at Shundahai.

Tomorrow we're selling. Finally the parking lot is not covered in snow any more, so we can have customers come here at the farm.

The sun is out. Enjoy it!

Young, spunky Olive

Beautiful, sweet Jasmine

 Big mama Opal

Peace

Stress

Spring Equinox was just a few days ago. It also snowed a few inches, so it still looks wintery outside. But the sun is bright and the days are long, and Sena and Aiyana are memorizing poems about Spring. Spring will come.

I hear that the maple syrup season hasn’t been good yet this year, with the prolonged cold. Things are growing in the greenhouse, but we’re definitely delayed relative to previous years, as is everyone else. In 2012 we were planting in the ground by late Feb, but this year everything is still covered in snow.

I’ve been doing a lot of learning on Hashimoto’s. I’m reading my third book on it now, called Root Cause by Izabella Wentz. It’s the best one yet. It’s written by a young woman, with a doctorate in pharmacy, who has Hashimoto herself. Her book is very well researched and documented, and very thorough. It gives a lot of hope, not only for Hashimoto’s, but for other autoimmune conditions as well that yes, autoimmune conditions can be halted or even healed through lifestyle and diet. I am so grateful to her for writing this book and sharing her journey and her research.

Based on everything I’ve read, or otherwise found out, and in consultation with our naturopath, I’ve been making changes to our diet. I am also giving Aiyana quite a few supplements, such as Vitamin D, the lack of which I read is pandemic, and highly associated with Hashimoto; cod liver oil for omega-3 Essential Fatty Acids; probiotics for gut flora; Brazil nuts for Selenium, which our soils here in the Northeast are deficient in, and the lack of which is a factor in Hashi. This is in addition to her thryroid medication prescribed by the endocrinologist. Aiyana’s being really good about taking it all without much complaint.

I’ve eliminated gluten completely from our diet; eliminated iodine (excess iodine is associated with triggering or perpetuating Hashi. in predisposed people). I’m trying to stay away from starches as much as possible, which means limiting all grains, potatoes, and sweets (which we didn’t eat much of to begin with).

We’re eating the veggies that we grow ourselves, nuts which we buy (I’ve been making nut based crackers and pie crusts, which are really good), legumes such as beans and lentils some of which we grow and some we buy, fruits which we grow ourselves, dairy and eggs which usually we produce ourselves, and Aiyana and I also eat meat if we butcher an animal.

I’ve been quite stressed lately with dealing with everything. I feel pulled in too many directions. Aiyana’s health has been my top concern, and I’ve been spending a lot of time reading and doing research. Food preparation with the new restrictions, has been taking more time than usual, and much more planning. The farm needs my attention too, plants need to be started, weeded, etc. The orchard needs attention – pruning must be done at this time of the year. The cows need daily attention.

With all this going on, my old breathing problems, which I’ve had on and off since I lived in Montreal, came back. I had been free of them for a couple of years, but they came back about three weeks ago. I’ve been to doctors and I am told that I don’t have asthma, and my heart and lungs are fine, everything is great. My personal feeling is that it’s all stress based and stress triggered, but the problem is that once it starts happening, I don’t feel that I have much control, and actually the more I focus on the problem, the worse it gets. Eventually, it resolves by itself, but while it’s here it can be very unpleasant and it limits me.

I’ve been spending extra time with the cows at the end of the day, as they always calm me down. I’ve also been listening to relaxing music as I do my work around the kitchen, and enjoying the sun and birdsong when I'm out working. I’ve been giving Sena and Aiyana more responsibility, such as weeding, which they took on surprisingly well. Ed’s trying to be supportive. He suggested that I take a vacation. Maybe...although I really don't want to go anywhere, I love being here on the farm. What I need is to figure out how to do my work and then let go instead of stressing about all there is left to do.

I see this breathing problem as a challenge and as a teacher, something that is here to teach me how live life better.

Peace

This morning when I went out to water and feed the cows, I noticed that the trees had a distinctive red tinge to them. I feel like it happened overnight, a sign that the buds are swelling and sap is running.

Yesterday, when Sena and Ed and I were with the cows, we think we felt Jasmine's baby. We're always unsure whether she's pregnant or not, even though the vet checked her in the fall and said she was. She does not look that big, and it's hard to tell, even though she's supposed to give birth in April. But feeling the calf was reassuring, and fun.

I've been working with Olive to halter train her. She got a little spunk to her, now that she's a teenager. She pushes her mom around, and I wanted to nip that kind of behavior in the bud, so she does not think she can be pushy with us. She has tried... But the halter training is really helping, letting her know that we're in charge and she has to obey and walk nicely alongside us when we bring her from one place to another.

It's rainy and misty today, and it really feels like spring is on its way.
One more week till spring equinox! Very exciting!

Peace

Spring

I spent today seeding onion soil blocks and organizing the greenhouse. It was 55F and sunny outside, with a warm breeze. It must've been 90F in the greenhouse. The fields are still covered in snow, but it is melting fast, and there are puddles everywhere. Bare spots are appearing and even though it's soggy, it fells so good to see the ground again. While working in the greenhouse I could hear different birds singing and calling - a morning dove in particular has been very vocal over the past week or so. There are other signs of spring too. The cows are shedding their coats in great clumps of hair that come out in when I run my hands over them. The spinach in the greenhouses is growing visibly from week to week. We'll be harvesting some tomorrow and selling to the food co-ops in Willimantic and in New London.

Things are going well with Aiyana. She's been taking her thyroid medication for a couple of weeks now, and is doing fine with it. We've all been off gluten for the past couple of weeks as well, and we don't miss it. I've been cooking a lot more corn, which we grew last year, and it's delicious. I've also been more mindful of blood sugar balance and cooking with that in mind.

We met with our naturopathic doctor for two hours last Sunday and he was very helpful. We're going to be doing more blood work and other tests to figure out if there are any food sensitivities or other things that could be flaring up Aiyana's immune system. I feel like we've got a better understanding now of what's going on and what we're going to do about it than we did a week ago.
We're going to continue to read and find out info on Hashimoto's (got two books in the mail today), but in the meantime I am relieved that Aiyana is doing so well with it, and seems to have no symptoms.

Sena and Aiyana did their yearly farming presentations again over the past three weeks. They presented to a total of about five hundred kids, from 2nd to 4th grade. They love doing it, and it's good to see how comfortable they both are speaking in front of large audiences. At the end of the presentations they take questions. That's always interesting. One question that seemed to cause a lot of confusion was whether the chicken you buy at the supermarket has a head. Sena and Aiyana had shown pictures of their (live) chickens and talked about how they care for them, but for some reason the kid who asked this question just could not reconcile the fact that those chickens are the same as the chicken his parents buy at the store, and that that chicken did have a head at some point.
Another major source of confusion was the cows and their milk. How do they give milk? Why do they have to have a baby to give milk? How does the baby come out? To this question, Sena said "the same way you came out of your mother" and left it there. It's sad, I think, for these little kids that they are growing up so disconnected from real things.

I've been reading the Tao Te Ching again, and found it helpful over the past few weeks when I felt unsettled. Sena and Aiyana have been copying excerpts from it in their calligraphy notebooks. They love doing that.

Peace

Hashimoto's Hypothyroiditis

Last week we found out that Aiyana has Hashimoto's Hypothyroiditis. This is an autoimmune disease in which the body's immune system attacks the thyroid gland and causes it to malfunction. The thyroid gland controls the body's metabolism, and to have it impaired is a very big deal.
The endocrinologist told us to put Ayiana on hormone pills right away (to replace the hormones that her thyroid is not producing) and we did.

Everyone wants to know how we found this out, what symptoms she had. She had no symptoms that we or her pediatrician could see. Except for one suddle thing. Ed and I being data nerds, have been collecting data on Sena and Aiyana's growth since they were born. We've been charting their height and weight information on the normal growth curves released by CDC. Basically these curves are a graph of height versus age. Sena and Aiyana have always been line on line with each other, and trending at around the 25% on the CDC charts. Over the past year, we noticed a slight deviation for Aiyana. She deviated from Sena's curve and also from the CDC curve, and basically flat lined for growth for about 8 months. Then she grew again, but was still down compared to Sena and the CDC curves. I mentioned this to her pediatrician, and he didn't think it was a big deal, but sent me for a blood test and to the endocrinologist just in case. The endocrinologist did not think much of it either at first, but when the blood test results came back, her thyroid hormone levels were abnormal, some of them by a lot, and that's when they prescribed hormone replacement.

It's been a very difficult week. I am upset about this for obvious reasons, but on top of it, I am very frustrated by dealing with the endocrinologist.
Hasimoto's is an autoimmune disease that attacks the thyroid. I understand that we need to replace the thyroid hormones with medication, and I'm ok with that, but my question as to how are we going to address the autoimmune issue is ignored completely by the doctor. It's the classic conventional medicine approach of treating the symptoms not the cause. When I asked the doctor if we should change anything about our diet, lifestyle, or do anything else to address the immune problem, she said just eat a balanced diet, without any further guidance. Also, I asked her how will we know if this autoimmune condition causes problems in other areas of her body, and she said if we see other problems we'll address them, which to me is insane. Why not address it now, before more damage is done? Overall, I just get the impression that she thinks I'm a pain in the ass for asking these questions which she does not know how to answer, instead of just giving Aiyana her pill and going home.

So I've been doing my own research on Hasimoto's, reading and talking to different people who are either experiencing it themselves or know about it. I am also talking to my Naturopathic doctor, who seems much more supportive and knowledgeable about addressing the immune issue. He agreed that Aiyana should take the thyroid hormone right now, and he also prescribed Vitamin D. and a gluten free diet.

My reading and research so far supports the Naturopath's recommendations. Gluten seems to be a strong autoimmune trigger in people with Hashimoto's, so we got off gluten right away. It was one of the few things in our diet that I did not feel great about, so I don't feel too bad about giving it up. Aiyana's missing it a little, but overall she's being really good about it. We also have her taking vitamin D and cod liver oil, and next week I am meeting with the Naturopath again to see how else we can support her.

The endocrine doctor told me flat out that Aiyana would have to be on hormone replacement the rest of her life. But my reading indicates that if you figure out what's flaring out the immune system, and get that under control, you can live with Hashimoto's without needing to take any medication. So for now, we are giving her the hormones prescribed by the doctor, but by no means am I going to accept that this is going to be a life long thing, before I've done everything in my power to address the immune system imbalance and take care of it.
From what I've learned so far, it seems like the immune system can be triggered by diet or lifestyle factors, such as environmental toxins (molds, heavy metals), and other stressors. There can be a genetic component to it as well, which may or may not be at play with Aiyana, but even that manifests supposedly when the immune system is triggered by something else.

What's really hard about this is that there is so much information out there, and I feel that we are basically on our own trying to sift through it all. There are so many doctors, and alternative practitioners, so many books, websites and so on, each with their own slant on this issue, and I am sure some of it is legitimate info, and some is not. I am not an expert in Hasimoto's but it feels like I will have to become one if I want to help Aiyana. I wish I could go to the endocrinologist and trust what they tell me, but so far it seems that they are just not willing to look at the whole picture, and without that how can you treat accurately? I plan to go see another endocrinologist, maybe I'll have better luck.

Aiyana is doing well, as I said, she has practically no symptoms. Her thyroid is a little enlarged, but if you didn't know to look for it, you would not notice it. Her energy level and everyhting else are totally normal. She's not bothered by having to take the thyroid pill, or the supplements we have her on. She was also very cooperative when having blood drawn.

I've read Dr.Kharrazian's book on Hashimoto's disease, and ordered two more by different authors.
This has taken all my attention since we found out about it, but I've been able to plant some onions in between things. Thank goodness for plants and animals, for trees and snow outside. I'd go crazy living only in the world of people.

Peace

What's going on

Yesterday and today I've been working in the greenhouse. I planted carrots, beets, lettuces and other salad greens, and watered all the crops. It feels good to be seeing bare ground, and to be getting my hands dirty again. Also, seeing greens growing at this time of the year, like spinach, is downright therapeutic.

I've stopped milking Opal. Olive is still nursing, so Opal will keep producing milk until Olive is weaned. But at this point, it's just not enough milk to make it worthwhile my going out there every morning. It's only been two days, and I do miss our morning routine, but I have to say that I am grateful for the time it frees up. I have more time for homeschooling, greenhouse work, and other things. I still go to see the cows and bring them treats in the afternoon. Ed said that the first day after I stopped, they were all waiting at the gate for me in the morning, and looked confused when I did not come as usual.

Olive is 10-months-old now. She's getting big and strong. I am working to halter train her. She needs to be trained before we start putting the cows on pasture again, otherwise we'll have trouble when we try to move them from one pasture to another.

Jasmine is due to give birth in April, and Opal in June, so we will have to buy milk between now and April.

Our CSA filled up really quickly this year. Most people who signed up are members that have been with us for a few years. But we did open up a few shares to new members, and they sold out in less than a day. I feel grateful that our farm has built such a good reputation and that people are eager to join our CSA.

This year, we're planning to buy in some products that we don't produce ourselves and offer them to our CSA members in addition to their shares. We're talking with small, local producers such as ourselves and we're looking at goat cheeses, breads, eggs, and possibly pastured beef. Buying in from others is a new thing for us. The key, for me, is to buy only what I like to call "high integrity" products. I feel that people have come to trust us, knowing that we produce food to a high standard, so everything we buy in and offer in addition to what we produce ourselves, has to be of similar quality.

For my birthday this year, I got two quince trees. I am very excited. My grandmother "mamaia" used to love quince marmelade, and she shared it with my sister and I when we were small. I've never had it since I was a child in Romania, and had totally forgotten about it, but this fall, a friend sent me some quince she got from someone (they're not easy to come by in this area), and I made marmelade, and it came out amazing. It brought back all these memories. The smell of the quince alone is reason enough to get a tree. It is intoxicating, and it lingers on for days and weeks, filling the house with a wonderful sweet aroma. Quince looks like a homely fruit on the tree, but when you cook it, it turns a lovely pink-peach color, and it tastes amazing. One interesting thing I found about quince is that it has been around for thousands of years, and it is even argued that it was the forbidden fruit in the Adam and Eve story. In any case, once you've smelled it and tasted it, you'll know why it's been around for so long.

That's some of what's been going on.
Peace

Focused attention

This is a busy time of the year, but in a different way than spring, summer, and fall.
Much of the busyness at this time is in planning for the farm for the coming seasons. There are seed orders to be placed, soil tests to be interpreted, fertility plans to be made, pasture and cow plans to be made, CSA memberships to be renewed, and so on.

I try not to let myself get lost or overwhelmed by these many different directions. I try to take care of things one at a time, do a good job on each one, all the while knowing that there's just too much to fit into any one day, so some things I'll have to do later than I'd like, or simply let go.

Homeschooling is going strong, and that is one thing I do not want to compromise. I realize how much Sena and Aiyana are capable of, how receptive they are right now, and how much I can contribute to their wellbeing. This will not be so forever. In l0 years or less, they'll be grown up and my impact will be much reduced. So I want to give them all I can right now, when they're willing to learn and have such capacity for it.

There are so many paths in life that are misleading, empty, without meaning, that fool us into thinking they'll bring fulfillment when they don't. I've learned some things about telling these false paths from the ones that are genuine. I want to teach Sena and Aiyana and guide them with this knowledge. I want to give them the tools that will allow them not only to chose wisely in life, but also to do things well.

One particular skill I hope to give to both of them is focused attention. I think that this is fundamental to doing anything well. Our culture is, if anything, teaching the opposite of focused attention. There are so many distractions aimed at us, and they do work. They promise and deliver cheap rewards. In my experience, the rewards of focused attention are great, but they do not come easy. But I'm still learning.

Peace

NY Karate Competition

Sena and Aiyana went to a Karate Competition in New York this morning. Sena competed in BoStaff and Forms and won first place in both. Aiyana competed in forms and won first place. They came home all happy. Here they are with their trophies.

I stayed home with the cats, cows and chickens and shoveled everyone out of the snow. A cold, windy, snowy winter day. But all is well.
Peace

Email exchange with a buyer

We harvested spinach this week, and sold to two buyers. We also sold some garlic and squashes from storage. I must admit that as we worked, the money we sold for did not seem worth our efforts of keeping the greenhouses clear of snow, and being out in this cold taking care of the spinach that's somehow surviving inside. But then we got this email from one buyer and it made things better.


"I must congratulate you on growing the best spinach i have ever had. This feeling is shared among many of my co-workers and some customers who have sampled it. How'd ya do it? How's it so sweet? Did the sugar condense or something in the cold?

The garlic is tasty and pretty as well.

Let me know when the farm has more produce for sale."

 

And this was my reply:

"It's nice to hear about the spinach. Yes, it does get a lot sweeter with the cold, as the plant evacuates water so it won't freeeze, and thus the sugars get more concentrated in the leaves.
We'll let you know when we have more for sale. Your comments make it worthwile to go out there picking in the cold..."

Peace

Sena's letter to President Obama

Here it is.
We didn't push her to write it. Things were simmering inside her, and then one night we watched a BBC documentary (Earth Biography) and the next day she wrote her letter.

Farmy, wintery pictures

Got some more snow this week. Ed and I also had a stomach bug - mine lasted two days, his three.  Fortunately I was not sick, and Ed was not too sick, when the worst of the snow hit, and we were able to clear the greenhouses before the snow got too high.

Aiyana, going to collect eggs from her chickens

 The farm, covered in snow

 Opal in her stall

 Jasmine in the snow

Peace