A little update

Hi everyone,

It's a beautiful day and I wanted to give you a little update where I'm at.

First, to put what's been going on over the past 3 weeks (which feel more like 3 months) in perspective, I'm just going to start by saying that gallbladder problems are huge in my family. Both my grandfathers died from gallbladder. My mom and aunt had theirs removed uneventfully.

So, back to my situation, as you may be able to see from the picture, I am now up and about and feeling pretty good, everyday a little bit stronger. My blood work is looking better too. My liver numbers are almost back to normal, from previously elevated values, which were due to my bile duct being blocked. When my bile duct was blocked, I also turned yellow, which was pretty scary. But now it's all looking much better.

The other problem I had, is that I bled after my first surgery, which made my red blood cell numbers drop below the normal. This gave me anemia, which made me feel really weak and tired. Those numbers are also looking better, although they are not back to normal yet. They take a while. I'm still feeling somewhat dizzy, although honestly I'm not sure how much of that is related to the heat.

In general, everyday I feel a little bit better and stronger. I go for several walks every day, and I rest a lot too. I do a little bit of cooking, but not much. Other than that, I also started preparing for my next school year, which is pretty exciting.

I feel like this illness has in some ways been a godsend. It's been very scary, no doubt, but at the same time I feel that it has allowed me to clear my mind and refocus my life in a way like nothing else could. Sometimes I think that when they cleaned out my gallbladder, they also cleaned out my mental state along with it :)

I still have one more surgery to go through, which is coming up mid july, assuming that I continue to recover well by then. This one will be similar to my first surgery, where they cleaned out my bile duct (my second surgery was to take out my gallbladder). At this third surgery, they need to go in and remove a stent which they put in to keep my bile duct open. Hopefully, this will be uneventful.

I still think daily about the people I met and saw in the hospital, both the people who were ill, and the people who work there. There's a lot of suffering, and some people have nobody to bear with them. The hospital staff in general are great, and I am very grateful to them for saving my life,  but as I said before, I think that as humans we need more than professional care, more than they can provide with their busy, understaffed schedules. We need to know that somebody is there with us, somebody cares for us, and somebody is looking out for us on an emotional level. I was lucky because I had that from family and friends, but some people don't.

When I went in for my gallbladder removal surgery, I was pretty scared. I had a team of doctors and nurses who were going to be working on me, and at one point just before I was about to go in, I said to one nurse "I have a weird request, can you please hold my hand as you're giving me the anesthetic?". She was so nice, and she said it was not weird at all, and from that point on she continually called me sunshine and honey bunches and all kind of endearments like that, which at the time did not sound corny at all but rather gave me comfort. 

So I do think about all those people who are out there alone, scared and suffering, and I meditate on sending them my best possible wishes and love, and prayers. If by any chance, you are looking for some kind of volunteer activity and you have free time that you would like to dedicate to others, I really think that going in and simply sitting with somebody who is suffering and has nobody else to be with them is a huge gift and one of the best things you can do. I will definitely keep that in mind as I continue to recover and move through my life.

So, to sum it up, I am feeling good and positive, though also a bit emotionally scarred from what happened (but I'll get over it), and also grateful.

I will make it my practice to never ever take things for granted again, things such as my health and basically everything around me, my daily life, and every mundane thing.

Sending my best to all of you ❤️

Peace