Networking

Many people agree that networking is a critical skill for "getting ahead" in life.
It's a skill I don't have, and I often felt bad about that when I was younger, like I was lacking something important. Now, that I'm getting older, I'm torn about weather I really want to have this skill or not.

I guess on some level I am repulsed by networking because I see it fundamentally as a way of getting something from someone without being open about it. At its worst, it's pure hypocrisy, where you don't even like a person, but you're hanging out with them and being nice to them because it's in your interest to do so. At its best, networking happens when you actually do like the person, and like being with them, but there's this other agenda in the background as well that you're hoping for.

I think that asking for help or favors from someone is totally legitimate, and I appreciate it when it happens in an open way and the other person knows upfront that this is at least in part why you're talking to them.

With genuine human interaction, when you talk to someone or spend time with them because you want to be with them, there are always side benefits. You often get more out of the relationship than you anticipated. But the point is, and what makes it different from networking, is that you're not thinking about the extra benefits, you let the relationship be what it is, and if you get something  more out of it than you expected, that's great. But that's not your motivation for hanging out with them.

So I've never been good at networking. I had a hard time with it when I was in the corporate world, in the academic world, and in the farming world. Networking, I found, is prevalent in all these fields. I usually beat myself up about not being good at it, because it does limit you, especially when you're up against colleagues who are naturally talented at it. At the office, there's getting the promotion; in farming, it's getting the sales, or the farm grants, or whatever. Who you know is really important and has tangible consequences. But I can't bring myself to do it. And I've also always been drawn to people who don't network well.

So I am torn about whether I should try harder to be good at networking. I think that at best, networking could be done by letting the other person know upfront that yes, you like being social with them, but you're also interested in this other outcome from your interaction. Maybe I'll try this the next time opportunity arises. Maybe not.

My ambivalence on this issue is also why I like being with animals so much. With them, everything is upfront. Not always pretty, but always upfront. Their true nature is what it is, and they don't hide their intentions.

Peace