Life can be so beautiful.

Right now, we can barely keep up with all the work we have. Actually, we’re not keeping up, we’re behind. I can get lost in that feeling of how much there is to do, how many different needs to attend to: the fields, the customers, my family.

Yet, when I stop, I am overwhelmed with gratitude. It is such a beautiful and plentiful time of the year. So much abundance, so much that we are given. Making a simple lunch with fresh picked tomatoes, basil, garlic, kale, is a meditation in itself. These fruits from the earth sustain us in body, and for me, equally important, they sustain my spirit. I am humbled to be a witness to all the changes that are taking place outside day after day, season after season. I feel so lucky that I live on a farm and that my work is with the earth, the elements, and Nature itself.

I don’t want to idealize this lifestyle. It’s hard and exhausting on many levels. But for me, right now, it feels so real and alive, that even when it’s hard, I don’t want anything else.

Just before I moved to the US in 1999, while I was still in Montreal, I had a dream. I dreamed that I was walking on a well-trodden path in a park, when I noticed a large pit to one side. There were other people walking on the path, but nobody was going towards the pit. I could see wild animals in there, and I felt like I had to go and get close to them. I entered the pit and found myself in a different world. The wild animals were fierce but I was not afraid, just fascinated. It felt harsh to be in there, but there was also a freedom and a vital sense of reality. Then, I looked back to the path I had come from, and thought about where I was and all of a sudden, in one instant fear set in. The animals didn’t treat me any differently, but I was now afraid of them, and they looked much fiercer. I started backing out towards the path, keeping one eye on the animals. Just before I got out of the pit, I looked back and considered staying, but the fear was too strong. I got back out on the path, and started walking. Other people were there walking just like before, but I felt so different.  I looked back to the pit, and felt overwhelming regret. I felt like I had just ended the most authentic experience I ever had.

This dream stayed with me since I had it. It comes to mind when things are especially hard or especially beautiful in my life. Farming is like being in that pit, and I hope that its harsh reality does not take from me its beauty.