back home

it feels so good to be back home! not that i didn't enjoy montreal. i had a really good time walking downtown by myself, and it was also really nice being with my parents, catching up, and seeing them interact with sena and aiyana.

still, when i pulled into our driveway, i saw the trees i love, and heard the birds singing and i felt like i was coming back to myself.

over the past few months, i've been experiencing vague discomfort every time i'm away from the peace and silence of the trees around my house. at first, i didn't know what it was, i just felt that no matter what i did, especially when i had time to myself, nothing made me feel good, nothing except for sitting outside my house and just being there. whether i went to the cafe, to the library, or wherever, i always found myself drawn back to that spot. at one point, i even thought that maybe i was getting a phobia of leaving the house. but i don't think that's it. the best way i can explain it to myself, is that over time, i've developped a special relationship with the trees and animals around my house; this relationship deepened as i sat silently, in my free time, and paid attention, not to my thoughts, my books, or anything else, but to my surroundings. i allowed myself to relax into the peace and quiet of trees swaying in the wind and birds chirping; and without any effort on my part, these beings touched me and i feel, on some level, became part of me; or me of them. now, if i'm away from them for a long time, i get this vague feeling of unrest...

i wasn't able to recognize this until i got back from montreal. when we pulled in the driveway, i was so happy to get out of the car and just be outside...

as soon as i got back, i walked over the ed's garden, and was amazed by all the growth that took place in our absence. i picked some lettuces (ed planted 6 kinds, and they all did really well), threw in some roasted sunflower and sesame seeds, feta cheese, boiled egg, and some of my own dressing (garlic, olive oil, and baslamic vinegar), and had a huge bowl of salad all to myself. the kids, unfortunately, are not too interested in salad... i was making all kinds of sounds of appreciation as i ate, moaning and saying to myself out loud how this is the best salad i've ever had, and sena and aiyana just sat there eating their (boring) pasta, looking at me with great interest, giggling every once in a while. i ate to my heart's content, and put some salad away for ed, who was flying back from japan that same night.

did i already say how amazing it feels to eat food out of our own garden? i guess i can't say it enough! besides lettuce, i've been picking lots of kale, spinach and cilantro, which i cooked in soups and stews and shared them with friends and neighbors. sena, aiyana and julia have been helping me, and and sometimes as we pick they'll start singing this song we know: "thank you mother earth, thank you sister water...".

so that's what we've been up to,
peace