lately, i find my thinking falls almost in 2 distinct categories: linear, and non-linear. the linear is what i do most of the time, to conduct my day-to-day life. it's mostly logical. the non-linear comes at unexpected moments, like when i'm driving the car and a thought comes out of nowhere catching me by surprise. the non-linear is a lot more fun for me. it's also easily forgotten. one minute, i'll have a thought that seems to be a real insight, making all kinds of things fall together in a fresh way, giving me a new understanding; i'm thinking it, and will myself to remember it; yet, unless i write it down, which i seldom do, i promptly forget it. which always makes me feel like...what a shame!
i also have these non-linear thoughts just before i fall asleep, or just after i wake up. that's when they mostly occur, in that liminal time, when things seem suspended between sleep and wakefulness. i love those times.
this morning, for example, i was just lying in bed trying not to move and wake up the kids. i was enjoying being the only one awake to the the peace and silence of the morning, when out of nowhere it occured to me that education, as i've known it, is mostly a form of social control. i realized that that is its primary goal, and any learning that takes place is just a by-product, accidental if at all. drawing on my own experience, i lay there and asked myself some questions: what was the point of all those years school i've gone through? knowing the huge capacity for learning and creativity that children have, it's obvious to me that i could've learnt everything i did in my early years of school much faster that i actually did, had i been placed in an environment that provided adequate resources, such as a caring person and a minimum of materials. instead, what i mostly learned in school was how to find my place in the hyerarchy of teachers and classmates. i know a lot of people that will say that school, esp. in the early years, is important for providing social skills to children. but how have the social skills that i learnt from my experience served me in my adult years? i can't say that they didn't serve me at all, but it's clear to me now that in trying to be a caring, compassionate woman with a healthy sense of self, i've had to try very hard and discard most of my social conditioning from school (which mostly taught me the values of competition, ambition, comparing myself to others, etc.).
my university education did prove useful, in that it prepared me for a job. but i don't really consider that lerning. it's just aquiring skills for a job. i alo don't think that it required as long as it took to get my engineering degree. most of the stuff i learnt in my batchelors', i never used in the workplace, and i forgot it by now. i am convinced that my job as an "aerospace angineer" (which sounded so impressive to most people) only required a few months of on-the-job training, not an elaborate degree. i guess engineering school did teach me how to think logically through a problem, which is an important skill that i apply throughout my life (believe it or not) not only in my job.
what i'm trying to say, and it's not coming out very well, is that schooling is more about molding kids in ways that they best fit into the fabric of society, as opposed to supporting their growth as creative, unique individuals.
the best use for school i can see right now is as a springboard for further exploration. this is how i used my anthropology degree, and that's why i enjoyed it the most. i loved the material that i came accross while studying anthro, but with time i also came to realize that the limitations present in other studies apply here as well; they are inherent to the institution of formal education. i realized that if i wanted to make anthro my career, or even if i wanted to pursue a PhD, i would have to shape my ideas and interests to fit into what is considered acceptable in academia. i'd have to study and publish topics that receive funding, and that is key. i'd have to find a way to fit into the academic hyerarchy of TA's, professors, researchers, etc.
once i'd had a taste of anthro and discovered that i really liked it, i decided that the best way to learn more is on my own, maybe with the support of a handful of gifted people. of course i also had my children around the time that these thoughts were going through my head, so quitting academics became a necessity rather than an option.
all this to say what? to say that when i see how gifted and amazing kids are (in terms of who they are, their views and their responses to life,their creativity, etc.), it makes me cringe to think of sending them to school. i can see a lot of people responding to this by labeling me crazy, or whatever. but it's how i feel, based on my own experience. i don't know what the best thing to do is, and fortunately i still have a few years before having to decide in regards to my own kids. ideally, i'd love to be able to support them in pursuing that which they're most drawn to. i'd love to be a resource that they can count on and draw upon, and i'd love to be able to find other resources as well, whether they be formal classes, people in the community, special programs, travelling, or whatever. life is so full of opportunities for learning and for fun! i'm also very drawn to the idea of learning and exploring alongside my kids and their friends. already, it's so much fun for me when we paint, when we go check out the fireflies in the field at night, or when we discover a city together. there's no question for me that the best learning i've done so far has been in real life situations along people who cared about me.
i guess i've said enough about this, and i realize that i've said nothing much. I haven’t even asked , regarding education, “what is the relative value of learning vs making money?”
i’ve only written a few disjointed thoughts. but i will stop here anyway.
peace
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