a breath of fresh air

one day this week, out of the blue, i had the realization that i'm really not as smart as i think i am. surprisingly, instead of making me feel bad, critical of myself or anything like that, this thought made me feel free. it's as if something hard broke, or cracked just a little, and a breath of fresh air came through. in realizing that i really don't know as much as i think i do, that i really don't have anything figured out, i felt all these possibilities open up; all of a sudden there was space, freedom, and relief at not having to be in control, not having to know.

it's good to let go of that need to know, and even more so, of the need to be right; this realization lasted just a moment, but even the memory of it is enough to make me feel refreshed, and a little more bouncy...

why is it so hard to be free within ourselves? how many people do you know that are truly free? people that can be playful and allow themselves a whole repertoire of thought and emotion, while still, somehow being responsible and sensitive in their interactions with others.
why do we as adults get so boring and narrow-minded? or so insensitive? why are we so crazy wasting our lives unlived, all these moments passing us by, while we are asleep...

but maybe, more importantly, i should ask myself how to be done with these things, how to step away even just a little bit, to breathe a little easier and live a little lighter. i'll let you know when i find out.

peace