eva

one day, i had a really nice experience at starbucks. this experience has stayed with me like a hidden little treasure, making me smile whenever i think of it.
it was early one saturday morning, and i was by myself. ed was home with the kids, while i had this time to myself. i was sitting by the window, sipping coffee and reading a book, when i noticed a woman i knew outside. her name is Eva, and she is a herbalist who owns a little shop i visit once in a while. i know she's been going through a difficult time lately, getting divorced from her husband. i remember seeing them last summer at HerbFest, arms around each other. last time i spoke to her, a few months ago, she told me that he's a wonderful man but she can't live with him. it was obvious she loves him. they have 2 children.

when i saw her at starbucks, she was walking to her car, holding a cup of coffee. she didn't notice me, and she didn't seem to be noticing much, looking mostly down. her expression was blank and a little hardened. i hought that the dampness and grayness outside matched what she projected. as she walked to her car, she turned as if hit by an afterthought, and walked back a few steps. she had noticed something on the ground and bent down to pick it up. it was a purple little flower, lovely and fresh, and totally out of place in the gray gravel. she picked it up with much care and gentleness, and held it as if it were precious. i saw her face light up and a faint smile come to her lips. she held the flower and in her hand and looked at it for a moment. then, she walked to her car, and i swear her step had a different quality from before, more springy, and lighter. i saw her get into the car and place the flower gently on the dashboard. then she drove away.

i felt so moved and grateful to have witnessed this intimate little sceene. what had happened was so small, it could easily have gone unnoticed. yet i also felt that it was big, huge in its significance, and i was deeply touched by it. maybe it was my mood, or the stuff i have been going through lately, but something inside me resonated with this experience.

isn't that how life is? you walk around in a haze, surrounded by events and people that sometimes seem as hard and gray as concrete. if you're lucky and awake enough, you may notice something small and beautiful along your way; something alive, that will make you smile. you stop and you connect with it, smile and give gratitude. your heart softens, and opens a little wider. you recognize that beauty often comes in unexpected ways, at unexpected times. you realize that without the pain you've known you would not have the sensitivity to connect with life and beauty on this level. you feel all these things in a moment, then you forget again. you keep walking.

peace