blessing way

my friend is expecting a baby next month. so last sunday i attended a blessing celebration for her and her new baby. i had never been at such a celebration before -been to two baby showers though, and found out that showers are not my thing. i was put off by the fact that other than sitting around and watching the mom-to-be open tons of (useless, in my opinion) presents, not much else happened. i didn't know what to expect at this blessing - but knowing my friends, i thought it would be something different, more special, more meaningful, at least to me.

it turned out to be an amazing experience. a blessing way is an old Navajo ritual. and this one was inspired from that tradition. it was 11 of us, all women, and 2 baby girls. it started off with all of us sitting in a circle on the ground, in the woods, on colorful blankets. the woman in whose honor this was held was part of the circle, but she sat on a simple chair covered with beautiful, colorful scarves and blankets. on her head, she wore a wreath of fresh flowers.

the ceremony started by lighting a smudge stick, which was then passed around the circle for cleansing. a thin thread of smoke rose from our circle, following the smudge stick.
in the middle of the circle was a low table, covered with a native-print cloth, on which stood 11 small candles arranged in a circle, and one big candle in the center. once we were done passing the smudge, each woman picked up a candle. we lit our candles from each other's, and as we did so, each person made a wish for the mother-to-be, out loud. the wind was picking up at this point, so it was hard to keep the candles lit. but we spoke our wishes to her anyway.

the only noises other than our wispered wishes, were the wind rustling through the tall trees surrounding us. some roosters called from a nearby pen.

since none of this was planned in advance (except for one person who led the ceremony), none of us knew what to expect, and the wishes we made were thought of on the spot. it was hard not to be moved by the heart-felt words being said, by how raw the whole thing was. even the wind, which was chilling us and blowing our hair wild seemed appropiate to the occasion.

soon it started to rain, but we continued to sit on the ground, in semi-silence, and it felt perfect to be like that. aiyana and the other baby seemed to be picking up on the energy, and were both very content to just sit on the ground with us.

eventually, as the rain intensified, we went in the house. it was the home of the woman whose property we were on. i didn't know this woman well before, and i had never been to her place before. i had heard her being refered to as a "wise-woman" before. now i know why.

her house was amazing. rocks, sticks, animal bones and shells, were displayed alongside striking artwork. she had lots of books nicely arranged in very little space. everything was so simple yet so powerful about her place.

once we were inside the house, we sat in a circle again, and each woman presented the mother-to-be with a small gift (a candle, some feathers, a picture, etc). most women also had something special to say out loud - some read passages from books they liked, others read things they wrote themselves. one woman recited a poem she memorized.

one woman in particular touched me. when her turn came to speak, she said that as mothers, one of the most important things we learn is to let go. i knew exactly what she was talking about. "to let go" has been my theme for the recent past. let go of control, of expectations, of fear...
she was thinking of something different for this occasion, though. she took the necklace she was wearing in her hand, held it, and told us how meaningful it was to her. she had worn it at her own birth, she said, and now, it was time to let it go. she took it off, held it a little longer, and said that maybe one day, the necklace will make its way back to her. and maybe it won't. then she gave it to the mother-to-be. we passed it around the circle and everyone held it for a while, putting their energy and love into it for the mother to have at her birth.

at the end of the ceremony, we passed around string, which each woman wrapped around her wrist before passing it on. when were all tied together in a circle, we cut the string and each one of us was left with a small piece of it wrapped around her wrist, as a reminder. i still have mine on, and love the feeling it gives me each time i look at it.

after the ceremony, we had some amazing vegetarian food, sat and laughed, and then went home. as i drove home, it hailed and poured, and the wind blew branckes off the trees into the road. all the while, the sun was out. it seemed appropriate - i felt this to be a reflection of my own state at the time.

i am so gratefult for this experience, and i will always remember it.

peace