But still

Frazzled is how I feel today, even though it's not too cool to feel like this on a beautiful day like today, but I've been running around everywhere with kids activities and errands, and being late for everything and tense and snappy. But still, they say to stop and smell the flowers, and I did, these beautiful snowdrops, always the first to come out of the ground and bloom. I stopped to smell their amazing fragrance, which always reminds me of when I was 5 years old in Romania, playing in mountain meadows. Then I went back to running around all day.

Peace 

In the hay

Look what I found hidden in the hay this morning when I went to feed the cows. I guess the hens like this spot too...

Ask for

Whatever your suffering is, ask not that it be taken away, for without suffering you won't know joy or beauty, and you won't know how to relate or truly love another.

Ask instead for the tools you need to bear it, to transform it. Ask for patience so that you may learn what your suffering is there to teach you, and ask for strength to be able to move on in a good way.

Peace 

Smile at fear

Some days I can, most days I can't. But I am learning.

I'm riding that horse, which we all do (life) and I am not so stable in the saddle yet. Often, I get thrown right off and spend quite a bit of time wondering, lost, trying to find my way. Other times, the feeling of freedom is unbelievable, and everything is so simple, and I can ride anywhere.

I give thanks to teachers like Pema Chodron and her teacher, Chogyam Trungpa, whose book "Smile at fear" I am currently reading; I thank them for sharing with the rest of us what they have learned about staying in the saddle.

Peace 

Sena in Nantucket

Sena and Ed will soon be heading to Nantucket. Sena will do a couple of presentations, one at the Nantucket Historical Society (see description below) and another at a school. She's been preparing for this visit for months, and is very excited about it. She's also hoping to learn more about marine mammal rescue from one of the long-time activists who lives there, who has become a mentor.



Thursday, February 22:
“A 14-year-old’s Lifelong Passion for Whales and the Environment” with Sena Wazer, President of Cetacean Society International Youth Group
Join the NHA and Sena Wazer, Founder of the Cetacean Society Youth Group, as she discusses how her passion for whales and the environment started, her involvement in Cetacean Society International Youth Group, and problems facing the North Atlantic Right Whales and some solutions to those problems.  Sena Wazer is 14 years old and has been working to protect whales, dolphins, porpoises, and the environment since she was five years old.

Contradictions, Jaguar Medicine

I've let you mold me,

though I am made of that which has no shape;

I've cowered fearfully before you,

and still I know
that I am fierce;

I am the fire that warms you,

the one that burns you;

I am the one who believes in you

though I roam beyond belief;

I am the doe,
the mountain lion that kills the doe;

My heart opens and breaks

again and again

to make space

to hold
all that I am
all that you are.


painting by Susan Seddon Boulet

And from Jamie Sams and David Carson's Medicine Cards, on Jaguar medicine: 

"Jaguar medicine teaches you that personal integrity allows for mistakes, embraces forgiveness, and humbly makes self-dirrected corrections, allowing a rebalanced spirit to triumph...

Integrity requires a forgiving and open heart. Compassion and mercy are also needed. Self-blame or pointing fingers at others only shows your lack of integrity...Jaguar always warns you to correct any need to control others, any abuses of influence, any form of manipulation, moralistic judgements, dishonesty, hidden agendas, envy, greed, or victim-like jealousy that may be affecting your life." 

I am grateful for these beautiful teachings.

Peace

...
 

Kempo Creed

Sena and Aiyana had some fun with the iMovie app, and made this 1 minute trailer about the Karate Kenpo Creed. Enjoy

Strawberry koan

Having some fun with the strawberry, mice and tiger koan. So true to life, it feels like therapy.

In case you don't know this koan, here it is from www.ashidakim.com/zenkoans/18aparable.html

Buddha told a parable in sutra:

A man traveling across a field encountered a tiger. He fled, the tiger after him. Coming to a precipice, he caught hold of the root of a wild vine and swung himself down over the edge. The tiger sniffed at him from above. Trembling, the man looked down to where, far below, another tiger was waiting to eat him. Only the vine sustained him.

Two mice, one white and one black, little by little started to gnaw away the vine. The man saw a luscious strawberry near him. Grasping the vine with one hand, he plucked the strawberry with the other. How sweet it tasted!

Love these guys so much

Animal friends at Shundahai and Iris Creek Farms - so grateful for these guys.
Clockwise from top left corner: Sena with Jupiter; extreme nosey closeup of Jupiter; goat and chickens whose names I don't know; Ruby the donkey and Keri; Mable; and Aiyana with Pride and Pico, the miniature pony, in the back.

And here is Max Ehrmann's Desiderata, a poem I've come across before, and again recently, which I always find beautiful, comforting and life affirming. Enjoy.

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. 
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism. 
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass. 
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself. 
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. 
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. 
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy. 

Peace

The book

When I was born, my aunt gave me a birthday present: a little golden book pendant on a gold chain. I didn't wear it much, but I've always treasured it and had it put away in a special box all these years. Now that I turned 46, I took it out and started wearing it, as a reminder. If this were the book of my life, what would I write, how would I fill the reminding empty pages? It's fun to think about this, and also a little scary. 

And you, how would you fill your blank pages?

🙏🌏❤️☀️🦊

Love

February at Shundahai Farm

Turning 46 today

Still the black sheep...

Thank you to my parents for giving me this precious life and doing their best for me and my sister. Thank you for bringing us to Canada and giving us new opportunities in life.

It's a beautiful day today and I am so grateful for just being here and for all the love I feel in my life. Thank you also for being part of my world through this blog and have a beautiful day!

🦋🐂🐳🕷🐋🐜🐛

Peace to all 

Iris Creek Farm

I love our friends at Iris Creek Farm, Kerry's farm, where Aiyana rides. They're such gentle souls, and they always brighten up my day. Moses is the one with the horns. 

Peace 

Mumford & Sons

"And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears. 

And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.
Get over your hill and see what you find there,
With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair". 

-from After the storm

Healing the Child

I want to share this article on Healing the child within, from renowned Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Hanh. It's pretty long, but if you're at a point in life where you need to be reminded of these teachings, you won't care about that.

Peace

Goal- Hemingway's list

I set for myself a goal earlier this year: to read Hemingway's list, which you can see half way down through this article from Maria Popova.

https://www.brainpickings.org/2016/01/04/with-hemingway-arnold-samuelson-writing/

I just finished Anna Karenina, and am now starting on The Red and The Black by Stendhal. I'm kind of excited to have a goal like this again, highly impractical and just for myself...

Eat the strawberry

What if we're here

precisely to suffer

to be broken

to learn how to bear it,

and how to move with it?

I'm not one to be soothed by some idea of salvation,
But what if tasting the strawberry on the brink of the precipice
is it?

Entire industries are built

on the avoidance of suffering

Everyone trying to sell you some thing, idea or dream

that will distract you,

for even a short a time,

from what you know and what you feel. 

What if we trusted heartbreak as a sign

that life is strong within us?

What if there's nothing better,

than what your life is
right now,
in all its messiness?

Would you still laugh?
Would your eyes still light up?
Would you still eat the strawberry?

Reach out to life and let it touch you.

(The strawberry is from a Buddhist story I read years ago, about a man hanging precariously on the side of a precipice, with a tiger above him and one below, who saw a strawberry near where he was, reached out, and ate it.)

Happy Groundhog Day!
Peace

Kerry's farm and ours

This is Kerry's farm, where Aiyana rides. Kerry has the cutest, friendliest animals: goats, sheep, horses, chickens. I absolutely love the feel of her farm. And she always seems so calm, working with her animals. Aiyana is learning Natural Horsemanship from her, which is a way with working with horses (but it applies to other animals and people as well) in a way that's non-aggressive, and is respectful of the animals' natural behavior. So for horses, instead of pulling on their mouths with a rein for instance, you learn their natural body language and signals, and most importantly you establish a connection with them such that you can communicate with each other. Some of the people that developed Natural Horsemanship were abused themselves and had horrendous childhoods, and developed this method out of that awareness, of how it feels to be pushed to do something against your will, through force, fear and aggression.

Next to me is a pigmy goat. Aiyana is riding Pride, a 23-year-old horse.

And this is around our farm. Look at those cats! They know how to live. No apologies.

Peace

Lettuces and kissing cows

Lettuces are sprouting the greenhouse. Always so exciting to see new life coming out of the ground!
And a big slurpy kiss from Jasmine.

Peace