Pray

Every day since I got out of the hospital, I've been thinking about the people I met there. Honestly, it was traumatic and sobering to be there. So many people suffering and alone. I was very lucky that I had Ed and my sister, who came and stayed with me as much as they were allowed to, and who fought for me when I did not have the strength to. I trusted them and I knew that they were there for me 100%.  I was never alone, and still, I was scared. But some of the people in there were alone, and they didn't have the support I had, and were confused and in pain, and I can only imagine how mush worse they must have felt than I.

One woman who was in the bed next to me was so weak, and in pain, and not feeling like she was getting any answers from the doctors. Her husband was not advocating for her, and her children did not seem involved either. I asked her if she had anyone else she coud turn to, and she said God. So I told her to keep praying, and I told her that I'd pray for her too, because I really think she needed to hear that. I also gave her my number. But I did also pray for her, in my own way, which may not be her way, but I think it's the same intention and the same energy. I also prayed and remember all the rest of the people who are laying in hospitals alone and suffering and scared. 

Don't get me wrong, I am super grateful for the hospital and doctors and all the personnel who were there to assist me and help me get better. The technology is amazing, and what they can do is not to be underestimated. I would have died without their help. I truly believe that they are doing their best for all their patients. But at some point, there's also a need for comfort and a human dimension that they do not provide. The hospital system is a machine, with so many people coming and going, and as you lay there, it is easy to feel alone and scared, unless you have strong support from somewhere else. For some, their only source of support is prayer. So prayer is really important.

I am so lucky that I was able to get back to my life, which now seems so perfect. All I wanted when I was laying in the hospital, not knowing what was happening, is to get back to my life and all its so-called "problems". It's so cliche, and we hear it so much; I've heard it all my life, how we should be grateful for what we have, etc, etc. But I did not really, truly feel the depth of it until this week, when by comparison to what I was going through, and what I was seeing others go through, everything I had been worried about seemed ridiculous. I wrote this in my journal while still in the hospital on Tuesday:

"When I get better from this, I want to remember the important things:

Being healthy. Being here. That's it! Everything else works out somehow.

When you wake up in the morning and you are healthy, and your family is healthy, what else do you need? Just rejoice in that. And go about doing whatever you are doing that day without stress and without resentment. Just going through our daily, mundane life, is the greatest gift."

I pray for all those who are sick and scared and alone, and for all those who are suffering; may they have health and help.

Peace

But

But,

"Did you celebrate?"

- Quote from my hospital bed neighbor who was not fully aware and raved all night, and among other things asked "Did you celebrate?". I am not sure in what context she meant it, but I think that it's a perfect question to keep with us in the context of our everyday lives. Because in the end, each mundane and ordinary day, with all its problems and annoyances, is indeed worthy of celebration.

Peace 

Good to be home!

I spent some time in Hartford Hospital for gall stones, and had to have a surgery. Will have to go back in this week for another procedure.

I am so grateful to my family who lost some sleep because of me, especially Ed!

It's so good to be back home. I am feeling okay but it will take a while to get back to normal.

Just enjoying laying down outside now. I feel like everything around me looks like a miracle. 

Peace 

Poppies, quince and a wall of peas in the garden

Today's little video.

Took some inspiration from my friend Emily today, and got out there in this not-so-pleasant heat to share a few beautiful things with you.

Peace

Graduation essay

I and 4 other 2021 teacher-graduates in my program were asked to write an essay, which we could turn into a speech to deliver on graduation day. (This is referring to the teacher certification program I just completed through ARC: Alternate Route to Certification.)

My speech did not get  selected, which makes sense to me in retrospect, because I think I made it a bit too personal, but this is what came out of me as I wrote it late one night, and I did not want to edit and make it into something else. In any case, I am glad I had the opportunity to write it, because I think it helped me clarify and clear out some things I needed to revisit inside myself. I thought I'd share it with you, so here it is:

~~~

Many of us have asked or been asked the question: “Who is the best teacher you ever had?”. Or, conversely, “Who is the worst teacher you ever had?”.

Well, for me, the answer to both these questions is the same: Mr. O’Brian. A real teacher, whose name I changed to protect his identity.

Mr. O’Brian was my Physics teacher. He was the best teacher I ever had because he kindled in me the love of Physics. I later went on to become an engineer due to that love, and now, here I am, a Physics teacher. Mr. O'Brian’s classes were fun and engaging. He was great at explaining things, making even the driest concepts and equations seem interesting and relevant. His classes had a relaxed yet structured atmosphere. I loved his class.

But Mr. O'Brian was also the worst teacher I ever had. How is that possible? Well, at the time, I was 17 and a newly arrived immigrant. My mastery of the English language was not great. My understanding of cultural norms was barely nascent. Mr. O'Brian would make jokes I did not understand. They were jokes at my expense, making fun of the way I dressed. The rest of class laughed. I laughed too because I did not understand. Only years later did it dawn on me what the jokes really were about. When I realized this, I felt betrayed. Up to that point, Mr. O'Brian had been a sort of hero for me, but when I understood how he had disrespected me in front of class, I felt deeply hurt.

Even so, my love of Physics continued. And I am still grateful to him for that.

I now find myself in the same position that Mr. O'Brian was in when I took his class. I am a Physics teacher. Many of my students are 17, the same age I was when I took Mr. O'Brian’s class.

I strive to make Physics fun for my students; I want to make it engaging; I want them to want to know more; like I did when I was their age; I want them to look around them and marvel at the new ways in which they can understand the world because of physics.

But, even more importantly, I want my students to feel respected, welcomed and cared for. ARC has taught me that if we, as teachers, don’t have a strong connection with students, we don’t have much. Our knowledge, our skills, our experience will not go very far without the fundamental piece that is a strong rapport with the students.

One of the most important things we are asked to reflect on throughout the ARC program is our “why”. Why are we entering this profession? Why do we want to become teachers? I’ve had several versions of my why, which evolved over time. All of these revolved around my desire to make a positive difference in the life of children, but none was satisfactory, until one day, a seemingly banal statement made by my doctor became my why.

That day, I was not feeling well. I went to see my doctor, and we made some small talk about how hard this year of Covid has been for everyone, especially students. At the end of my visit, as I said goodbye and was about to walk out the door, he made a comment, almost like an afterthought. He said “Just do what you can to help”.

As I walked to my car, I realized: that’s it. It all comes down to that. I believe that in one way or another, all of us here, who are entering the teaching profession, fundamentally, just want to do what we can to help.

But sometimes, simply having a good intention is not enough. That’s where ARC comes in. In less than one year, ARC has given us the tools we need to be able to take our good intentions and effectively put them into practice.

This has been a difficult year: from covid, to political turmoil, racial injustice, and a host of other problems. We have had to conduct the entire ARC program remotely, and our Practicums were done in a format never done before. Yet, despite these challenges, we’ve learned so much from our teachers and fellow students. In these short nine months, we have laid the foundations for the rest of our careers, and we have built relationships with each other that are sure to last, despite the remote environment.

In the end, whether here at ARC, or in our own classrooms, it all comes down to relationships. My methods teachers, Sherry and Kathy, told us that one teacher can make a student; but, one teacher can also break a student. That’s how powerful teachers are.

I wish Mr. O'Brian knew that.

But, in reflecting on all of this experience, I feel so grateful to ARC for giving all of us the tools we need to be the kind of teachers that make a student. Equipped with our passion, and these tools, we are ready to go out and make a difference.

Accepted Hartford's offer

I am happy to say that I've accepted the offer from Hartford Public Schools!

Starting next August, I will be working as a Physics teacher at the Sport and Medical Sciences Academy in Hartford. I'll be teaching 2 college level physics courses as well as high school physical science.

I'm quite excited about it 🙂

In the end we do go back to what we love.

Sena and Aiyana

 Photo credits to Nick Barta.

Peace

A little spot by my house

Just wanted to share this beautiful little spot with you. I stopped by for a few minutes after school today. It's one of the few things that brings me peace and a child-like joy, when my mind is pulling me in a hundred directions.

I am so grateful to all the people who take care of these wild places, and keep them clean, healthy and beautiful.

Peace

 

Let him out! See what happens.

 Bukowski: Bluebird.

Sanity or insanity?

"Society is invincible to a certain degree. But your real life is your own, and nothing can touch it.
...
Nothing can stop you retreating into splendor and beauty - into the thoughts and beliefs that make the real life - the real you".

(From "Where angels fear to tread", by Forster).

Sharing my favorite spot out in the orchard

A 2 minute video for my mom and dad and anyone else who needs a little bit of natural beauty.

Fundamental laws

But somehow, after all this time,

The only comfort I could find,

The only certainty,

Is in uncertainty

Peace

A little video from this morning to brighten up your day

 Here is the link. Enjoy this beautiful day.

Peace

Forbes has just published an article on the Truman scholars, of which Sena is one

 https://www.forbes.com/sites/michaeltnietzel/2021/04/16/the-2021-class-of-truman-fellows-is-announced/?sh=4ff235df12df

Beautiful day with my girls in West Hartford yesterday

So many good cafes and restaurants!!!

AMAZING News!!!

Sena won the prestigious Truman Scholarship! This is an amazing achievement.

She is one of only 62 people to win it across the US, and she competed against 845 other highly qualified nominees from universities across the country. Each University nominates a few highly qualified candidates for the scholarship. Sena was one out of only two people to win from CT.

Truman scholars are selected for excellence in academic achievement, leadership and public service.

Read more about it in this UConn press release and this release from the Harry S. Truman Scholarship Foundation.

We are all so thrilled and so proud of Sena!!!!

Peace

Happy Easter!

 Yesterday, the girls and I painted 3 more Easter eggs. The rest, we did in previous years. I really love doing this with them! We will be celebrating Easter again in May, for the Orthodox Easter, which is what we used to celebrate in Romania. We will be cooking some Romanian meals, and just having a nice time together.

I hope you had a nice day too.

Peace

Almost there

My Practicum, which was the practical part of my teaching certification, is officially done! It was pretty stressful, as there was a lot observation and evaluation going on, but I did well and learnt a lot from it. Sena and Aiyana made me this sweet card to celebrate.

Now, I'm on track to officially receive my teaching certificate in June.

Also, I have 2 job offers currently, and have to decide which one to select.

Peace

Asynchrony

You gave him your rarest flowers

But he was too wrapped up in his own pain to notice

And now I see you

Dreaming in your garden

A thousand birds and butterflies surround you 

Peace

Happy spring!

That moment, first thing in the morning,

Before the fears and worries arise,

Before the tangle of your thoughts takes over;

That moment when your heart feels

Simply glad

To greet the sunrise of a brand new day,

A brand new spring,

That's where your treasure lies

Peace