February

February can be tough. There’s not a lot of natural light as we don’t see the sun for days or even weeks at a time. There’s little fresh food growing, and we don’t spend much time outside, so I think that all of these things combined can make us feel depleted and blue.

But there’s spring to look forward to, and even though it’s not obvious right now, life is quickening inside the earth. Sap is rising in trees, snow-drops are getting ready to emerge, and before we know it, spring will be here.

It’s good to take advantage of this time of the year to rest and renew, let go of whatever it is we no longer need, and clean the slate, spiritually and emotionally speaking. I read that the name February itself means “to purify”.

This week especially, I am feeling the need to rest. Since Christmas, I have been very busy with one deadline after another: I had to get the 2014 CSA info out; put together the yearly soil amendments order; do seed orders. In addition to homeschooling, cow-related activities, and the usual cooking and housekeeping, all of it has left me a feeling a little low. But, silly as it may sound, I have a hard time relaxing. I feel the need to be productive in some way or another.

The most relaxing time I’ve had recently is doing cow chores at night. I’m in charge of bringing water to them at around 8pm, and making sure they’re settled in for the night.When I go out, it’s pitch dark and cold, and as I walk across the field to where the cows are with two buckets of water in my hands, I find myself having to stop often to give my arms some rest. The nice thing about this chore is that it’s the last thing I have to do at night. So I don’t have to rush – I can take my time, walk as slowly as I need, and enjoy the stars, which have been shining brilliantly overhead these cold nights with clear skies. When I get to the cows, I also enjoy very much being around them. They are usually lying down, chewing their cud, and they watch me placidly as I break the ice and pour warm water into their buckets. There’s a feeling of calm, safety and warmth around them, and the hay in their stalls smells sweet. I often linger, just wanting to be near them under the big starlit sky before returning to the house.

I want to share this passage from an article written by Bert Gunn, recently published in Natural Transitions magazine (full article here). I met Bert at the sweat lodge ceremony a couple of years ago, and since then he’s become a teacher and someone I really look up to. In this article, he describes the death of his own teacher, Tlakaelel, a Mexican elder. I’ve been coming back to this one part of the article over the past few days:

"Tlakaelel often recited an ancient poem in the Mexica (or Nahuatl) language about an old man on his deathbed. As he looks at the four walls around him, he asks himself: “Is that all there is? Do we just pass like the wind? Will there be nothing of my name or of my fame left in this world? Do we just come to this world to grow up, reproduce, and die? At last, an answer comes: “At least we leave flowers and songs.” The flowers are the projects we have done in this life—perhaps a book we have written, a work of art, or a bridge or building, or our children. The songs are the people we have touched in this life, those who remember us, and the “seeds of wisdom” we have planted. Tlakaelel left many flowers and songs".

Peace

LT's winter break

Here's our best hunter, L.T. She lives outside in spring, summer and fall, and she works hard hunting in the fields. But in the winter we let her come in the house. I think she likes it.

peace

Mozarella - total failure

I made my first mozarella and it was a total failure. All I got was a whole bunch of whey and some very small curds. No ball.
Everything was going well until the step where I was supposed to put the curds in the microwave to melt and stretch them. Since I don't have a microwave, I went with the alternative option of working the curds in hot water. Very hot, 172F. I couldn't really do it with my hands, and I was working with two spoons, but basically my curds desintegrated and where I was supposed to get a ball shaped thing, I got some really small curds, all separate, and a whole bunch of white watery liquid.
Oh well.
I'm not giving up yet, though. I'm going to get some rubber gloves so I can work with my hands in hot water next time, and I'm going to try another recipe.
In the meantime, since I can't bare waisting a full gallon of that beautiful milk I started with, I'm eating the minuscule curds myself (in soup), and I plan to use the whey in cooking and to make ricotta. I know I can get that to work, since my last ricotta came out great.

Cow news:
The cows are getting more comfortable on our farm. They're both coming out of their stalls now and spending the day outside eating hay and the little one even eats the grass she digs out of the snow.
We've been doing a lot of reading and learning about cow training, and cow behavior, stuff like how to read their body language, what different postures mean, etc. We want to treat them right and be tuned into their signals, and at the same time we must make sure that we and the kids are safe around them, since they do weigh 600 pounds.

Opal was getting somewhat pushy with Aiyana, so we had to learn how to be more assertive with her. Basically, what we're finding is that they really need to know who's in charge, because that's how they work in a herd situation, and if we don't make it very clear that we're in charge, they will think they are and be pushy. Opal wasn't bad at all, she just nudged Aiyana sideways with her head, but it doesn't take much for such a large animal to hurt someone much smaller. So, after checking in with their ex-family and doing a whole bunch of reading, we've been much more clear about our personal boundaries with both cows, and we're working on training them to obey our direction. It's all very interesting, and the learning curve for us is really steep right now.

Tomorrow, our good friends T, C, and K are coming to help us halter and lead the cows. These guys are great at working with animals, since they have their own goats, chickens, rabbits, and horse. The horse was pretty wild when they started to work with him, but now he's much more tame, so I'm sure they'll be helping us with some of their techniques.

All that being said, we are so lucky to have found Opal and Jasmine. They're both so friendly, and good-tempered, and easy to work with. And, they're fun. I have to admit that before getting them, I was mostly focused on what they'd give us, i.e. milk and soil fertility. I didn't realize how much I'd like them for who they are. I really enjoy going out there and being around them, cleaning their stall, bringing them hay and water. It doesn't feel like a chore, at least not yet, more like a good opportunity to get outside and get some fresh air and quiet time. There's an air of peace and tranquility and well being around them, and I can see why they're revered in some parts o the world. They give us so much, and ask for so little in return. They feed us, make our soil fertile so we can grow our crops, and they multiply. Cows were a symbol of wealth in the past, and although that is no longer the case given the way we think of wealth, in my world, they still are, and I feel more secure now that we've got them.

Peace

love this picture of Sena getting hay in Opal's barn

cows and cooking

Aiyana with Opal

 and with Jasmine

Sena, cleaning Opal's stall. She and Aiyana have chicken and cow chores every morning.

Sena, making lunch. She's been a big help lately, and lightened my load considerably by cooking a meal per day. She made the delicious spinach pie below a couple of days ago.

Some of the food we grew and preserved: dried beans, dried cherry tomatoes, canned tomato sauce, pickles, apple sauce, roasted red peppers, and corn.

peace

Opal. Isn't she cute?

Sena and Aiyana, practicing a stretch for Karate.

No more waiting till the cows come home

A summary of the past few days:

On Friday, we went to see the cows and meet with the vet. Following is an email we sent to our CSA members that night, which will give you an idea of how everything went:

Want to help on the farm immediately?

To

Date

Fri 23:19

The cows are coming home.
Mission: To have 2 stalls ready for them by Sunday at noon.
When we need help: Any time on Saturday, rain or shine heavy rain.
Problem: Only one stall is currently ready. The other is filled to the brim with wood and other stuff, which needs to be removed and restacked. The stall then needs to be cleaned, and a barn wall and gate need to be built.
Jobs you can help with:

• Move out and restack the wood
• Pickup nails and other objects off the ground (dangerous to the cow)
• Help install hay racks and salt licks.

Tools that would be helpful to bring if you have them:

• Cordless skill saw
• Cordless jigsaw

How we got into this situation: We had one barn ready for the cows, but we found out just today that the two cows we’re getting should be separated for a couple of weeks, and thus require two stalls. We also just found out tonight that we’ll be getting them this Sunday, a lot earlier than we expected (although we’re very excited about it).
Why we’re writing this email at 10pm (usually we’re in bed at 9): This email is actually being written as we drive home on I-91S, after closing the deal on the purchase of our first cows! This email is also being written after having had a flat tire on the side of the highway, driving around aimlessly trying to find a gas station that had air so we could inflate the spare from 10psi to 60, and then proceeding home at 50 mph with flashers on the whole way.

ps. If anyone knows about tractors, our Kabota won’t start.



The response to our email was great. We had a dozen people show up, and the work was done in a few hours. It would've taken Ed and I several days were we to do it alone, not to metion the stress we would've experienced. Like this it was actually fun for everyone.

The cows were delivered today and everyone is extatic. The girls are besides themselves. At one point, Aiyana shyly whispered to me: "I fell in love" .
Everything is going really well so far. The family who sold us the cows is among the nicest we've met. On Friday night, after we sealed the deal, the sent us home with fresh, home-made cookies. Need I say more?

The cows are: Opal, who is just about 2, and she's most likely pregnant, due around June; and Jasmine, who's 6 months old and just weaned from her mom. Opal is the perfect family cow, mild disposition, nice size, already had a calf and gave birth unassisted with no problem. Jasmine is timid. She'll need more time to become accustomed to us and our farm. But she's also very sweet. Right now they're both a bit stressed by the travel and the new surroundings. We're being really gentle and calm around them, and we'll be spending lots of time with them to get them used to us. They'll be in their stall for a couple of weeks until they get comfortable here, then we'll let hem out on pasture.
This feels great.

Jasmine with her previous owner

 Opal and Ed

Peace

Our first Feta! and Ricotta!

Sena and I made our first Feta last night. We used raw, Jersey milk from Baldwin Brook Farm in Cantebury. Everything went well, up to the salt brining step at the very end. My recipe called for 3 days of brining, but we only brined overnight, and when I tasted the cheese in the morning it was way too salty.In the future we will brine for one ot two hours only. Fortunately you can reverse the saltiness, which is what we did, by putting the cheese in a pure whey brine or plain water until it comes back to the desired saltiness. 

I made Ricotta with the whey left from the Feta. I had some topped with peaches from our tree, which I froze in the summer, and it was delicious.

I've also been making cultured buttermilk, a big hit with the family and super-easy to make.

Adventures in dairy have begun!

My grocery list for this week has only 3 items on it: milk, cream, and nuts. The milk and cream will soon disappear - we're going to see our (hopefully) future cows on Friday. The nuts, I'm not so sure. We grew peanuts this past year but they didn't do well. Maybe we'll try a different variety in the future, but for now, we're buying nuts. In any case, I feel like we're getting closer to our goal of self-sufficiency, and that is encouraging.

Here's a picture of our cheeses. Ricotta is in the glass bowl, the rest is Feta.

Peace

I guess I was a little overzealous with the work when I got back from Montreal. I went out a couple of days ago and harvested the last hundred pounds of (super-sweet) carrots from the greenhouse. I wanted to get them out of the ground before the real cold came, and I felt the need to do some work outside. My hands were frozen by the end of it, but still, I felt good. The problem came with transporting the carrots from the green house to the root cellar. I didn’t use a wheel barrow, because of the snow, I just carried them in a bin. I only carried about 30 pounds and asked Ed to carry the rest, but the way I walked with the bin made for an awkward position. I guess my back did not like this, because yesterday all of a sudden I started having lower back pain, which has intensified quite a bit since. Now I feel like an old woman, and that exuberance that made me go out there for the carrots in the first place seems like it belonged to someone else. I’ve been sitting around the fire and shelling beans, a task that had to get done, so at least I feel like I can still do something useful.

Cow update: Things look good. We found a Dexter cow who’s pregnant and due in about August, and a 6 month old Dexter heifer, both on a small farm in New Hampshire. The family selling them seems very nice and easy to deal with. We’re hoping to go up there next week to have a vet assessment of the two of them, and pick them up shortly after, weather permitting.

Sena made her first cheese, with my help – paneer. It came out delicious, I thought, but unfortunately I was the only one who thought this. I made curry with half of it, and ate the rest raw all by myself. It was a real treat, and I was kind of glad I did not have to share it. Sena was really proud of her first cheese even though she did not like the taste, and now she wants to try other cheeses, but I told her we’ll have to wait till my back feels better.

 Peace

Happy New Year!

Aiyana and I went to a sweat lodge last night to celebrate the New Year. Initially I wanted to stay home and just have a quiet night, but Aiyana really wanted to go, so we did, and I am glad for it. There was a great bonfire, and the night was cold and clear, with a new moon and lots of stars. It was beautiful, and the lodge felt like the perfect place to be to welcome the new year.

I’ve been reflecting on the year ahead. What I want mostly is to use my energy and good health in a good, useful way. For some time now, I’ve been feeling a sense of urgency to get things done. I don’t know if it’s age-related, but I feel that this is the time to act, to put my energy to use in a practical and concrete way. I feel particularly driven in these areas:

Homeschooling – I want to give Sena and Aiyana as much as they can hold, and lay a solid foundation, one that they can turn to for the rest of their lives. We’ve had good progress so far, and it’s amazing to watch them soak up the knowledge - I feel that there’s almost no limit to what they can learn.

Farming – I need to keep farming, at this point I cannot imagine myself not doing it. I’m very excited about getting our cow, (which looks like it will happen soon), and integrating her with the rest of the farm. I want our farm be self-sustaining, i.e. operate with no external inputs, and I feel like the cow will bring us closer to that ideal by closing the loop on soil fertility (right now we’re buying in a significant part of our soil fertility in the form of compost).

Share what I've learned - I also feel an urgency to share with people what I found to be true, in regards to the earth and our impact on it. I now know that we, humans, are affecting the fundamental forces that make life on earth possible. We have changed the weather, and we are affecting the quality of water and air.

I want to encourage those who are willing to simplify their lives; reduce the amount of stuff you buy; reduce the amount of energy you consume; and in general think about your impact.

In my experience simple living is not equivalent to deprivation, quite the opposite. Simple living has brought me abundance, joy, contentment, and peace of mind. 

I don't want to get preachy, but I feel that I must speak about this. A wise man I know said "what good is your knowledge, your love, and everything you have been given, if you don't share it?" I do feel that consumption, besides leaving the earth in poor shape for future generations, is not bringing people the happiness they seek, whereas a more modest living can be much more fulfilling and sustainable on both a personal level and large scale.

This is not about "saving the earth". I do believe that the earth will be fine. The earth can bounce back and regenerate, but maybe not in a form that's suitable for humans to live. So this is about saving ourselves, and about leaving the earth in better shape than we found it, so that our children and future generations can also enjoy this amazing life we have here.

 

Happy New Year, and Peace.

This year's Montreal visit

We just got back home from Montreal. Sena, Aiyana and I went to visit my parent for the holidays. We had a nice time with them, and Sena, who's doing a family tree, initiated a lot of conversation and story telling about family members from long ago, which was a great bonding experience.

My sister and her family were there too for a few days, so we got to spend some time all together, which was a little chaotic, but still, a treat.

Today, the girls and I drove home, and I have to admit that I feel relief. I don't like and don't feel well being indoors for long time, but in the city, it feels like the only thing to do outdoors is walk around the streets and shop. I'm not into shopping, so the girls and I walked around, and went to some cafes, but I felt empty. I'm sure that if I had to I would re-adapt to city life, but right now it feels difficult to live in a place with so few trees and so little natural landscape, and so much man-made stuff.

So I felt great driving through the mountains of Vermont today, and when I got back home I had a surge of energy. Went for a walk around the fields and I can't wait till tomorrow to get my hands dirty again, and work with the soil. I'll find something to do in the greenhouse, some weeding, or planting, or anything just to get me grounded again.

Peace

The funniest

Check out my little niece, Stella, singing Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah, on the potty. Here she is.

The gift that lays unopened

There are mysteries
that will never be revealed,
As they shouldn't.

The mountains, wise and old,
will hold their secrets, quietly,
As they should.

Majestic old trees,
made of sun and earth,
Will not divulge the workings
of time and nature.

Birds will not tell
of never-ending voyage
across boreal forest, mountains, deserts,
But they will sing of it.

Whales will not speak
about the sacred ocean,
whose depths they only know;
It's written in their eyes.

These secrets are not for distracted, insensitive humans.
They will not be bought or sold, ever!
They cannot be told,
But must be felt, experienced,
Through pure yearning, desire, and deep humility.

This precious knowing of the earth and our place on it is our gift at birth,
A forgotten gift we search for all our lives,
not knowing what we're looking for,
down busy city streets,
in stifling office buildings,
in failed relationships.
A gift that's ready to open when we're ready.

Look to the powerful beings who know!
Pay them deep respect, and you may be granted a glimpse.
A glimpse that makes this life worthwhile.

Peace

Sena is 10!

My beautiful Sena turned 10 yesterday! I can hardly believe it, which is what every parent says about their children, but it is nevertheless true. She is truly a beautiful person, and wise beyond her 10 years.

She teaches Ed and I as much as we teach her, and about more important things. We teach her how to get along in life, and she teaches us about seeing clearly. I want to give her the necessary tools to get through life, as far as practical knowledge, etc., but I don't want to interfere with or muddle her inborn sense of justice, her integrity, and her clarity about what's important.

One of the greatest gifts Sena, and Aiyana have given me, is the ability to get over myself, and just get on with life. They have given me a much wider perspective on life, which on one hand diminishes my own self-important attitude, and on the other hand spurs me into action through the realization that what I do is important, and does have tangible consequences.

We had two parties to celebrate, one with Sena's friends and one with her grandparents and cousin. We also celebrated quietly, together, just the four of us, by watching pictures and reminiscing about Sena's birth 10 years ago. As far as presents, I knitted her a scarf/hat, Ed got her a focus pad to practice her karate kicks, and Aiyana got her some pretty yarn to use in the knitting and crocheing. It was a good birthday.

Peace

Winter Solstice

Happy Winter Solstice! Today, we celebrate the return of the light, as the days start to slowly get longer.

For me, this is a time of introspection, rest and renewal. Just as everything in nature is now at rest, seeds laying dormant in the ground, animals hibernating in their shelters, so for us, humans, it feels good to slow down, let our bodies and minds rest from the activities of the past year, and renew for the coming season.

Winter Solstice reminds me that everything is a continual death / rebirth cycle. I see this played in front of my eyes throughout the year in different forms, on different scales; within humans too, this cycle is happening. So I ask myself, what physical aspects, ideas and ways of being are fading in my life, what do I need to let go of, and what is being born that needs to be nurtured?

I hope you enjoy and appreciate this special time of the year.
Peace

The cow fell through

We just got word today that our cow arrangements fell through. The warts that the cow had on her teats got worse and she's been hard to milk because of that, so the woman selling her does not feel that it is right to sell her like that. Which is nice of her, but....

For us, this is very disappointing, as we've been waiting for this cow for a few months and we're all set up for her to come, and we've passed up some other nice cows for her. But at the same time, we don't want a cow with problems, especially since she'll be our first; so we'll have to start looking again. At least I'm glad that there's been some resolution, and we know where we stand, and we can move forward from here.

The "Grow Your Own Food" course Ed and I taught last week went really well. We put a lot of energy into it, ad we were both exhausted at the end (7 hours of intense focus and talking can do that), but sleep put us right again. We had 12 people attending, which was a good number given the size of our house. We had excellent feedback after the course, and people seemed really excited about what they learned and about going out to their gardens and applying it. One thing I found really uplifting and encouraging, and this is not the first time I've noticed this, is that people really do want to do what's right for the land, as far as working the soil in a beneficial way, without using toxic chemicals or poisons, but they just need to: 1) know that this is possible and realistic,  and 2) get the practical knowledge on how to do it.

We got some snow on Saturday, so yesterday we had to dig out the greenhouses. We can't have too much snow accumulating on top of them or on their sides, or we'd risk the plastic covers getting ripped or even collapsing. So we shoveled, and it was a lot of work. It felt really nice to come in the house and sit by the fire afterwards. Unfortunately, once I sat down I didn't want to get back up, but diner had to be made, dishes had to be washed, and the children had to be put to bed. But, I did take some time for myself later, after everyone was asleep and snoring loudly - just the cats and I sitting on our soft sheepskins, staring into the fire. That felt luxurious.

Ed and I will be heading to the NEFV (New England Fruit and Vegetable) conference this week. It is a huge conference with thousands of people attending. Last time we were there, two years ago, we learned some practical things that served us well since. After we come back from the conference, it will be Sena's birthday, then Christmas, and then the girls and I will be going to Montreal to visit my family. Busy time of the year!

Peace

Snow!

We got about 3 inches of snow yesterday, and today Sena said that she knows what people mean by "winter wonderland". Everything looked so beautiful.

This morning, we went sledding with some friends. It was really fun, but the play got kind of rough, and on the very last run down the hill Sena fell off her sled and got a bump on her forehead. Her gymnastics coach said that it's easy to tell that Sena and Aiyana spend a lot of time outdoors - they always come in smelling of fresh air, looking like they played in the dirt, and today with a scratch and a bump...

 It was just us and these geese.

Peace

Fog

The land looks barren at this time of the year. Yesterday, the fields were covered by thick fog all day. But if you know them well, through the fog, you could catch a faint suggestion of what used to be, and what is yet to come.

Peace

These have a story to tell

My sister and I were talking about used clothes yesterday, and how much they can mean. To me, used clothes are clothes with a story to tell, so much more interesting than new.

These are my favorite shoes:

They're my Doc Martins, and I've had them since 1995. They've been with me in Montreal, when I was working at Pratt and living the city life; they came with me to the US when I decided I had to try something new; they're still going strong and serving me well now when I work in the field or ride my bike.

Peace

What's going on with the cow?

Back in late summer, we were looking at cows. We saw a few and finally settled on a Dexter.

Her name is Ramsey and she was pregnant at the time. We were expecting her to have the calf in October and we thought we'd get both mother and baby here soon after . But it turns out the woman selling her to us was off on the pregnancy date, so Ramsey didn't give birth until November. Then, we had to wait 6 to 8 weeks to give her and the calf time to adjust after the birth. We went to visit them both last Saturday, and it seems that they're about ready to come here, except for the warts.

Ramsey has some warts which were exacerbated by hormones after birth, and they're on 2 out of her 4 teats, which makes it hard to milk her. We've been talking to a vet about this and it turns out it's not a big deal, and should resolve itself in a few months.

Where we are right now is that we're waiting to get vet signup on getting her moved here, then we have to arrange transportation. Hopefully they'll be here in the next two weeks.

We've been eagerly waiting for them to come. The good thing about all this waiting is that we got ready in the meantime. Ed got two barns ready for them: one is an old barn which he fixed and cleaned up. The other is a barn he built from scratch; it is a movable barn on wheels, similar to our movable chicken coops, the idea being to avoid an accumulation of manure in any one spot.

Ed also got fencing set up around the pasture. We're planning to do rotational grazing, which means that the cows will be moved to fresh pasture every day. This requires special fencing arrangements, but I think we're all set with that.

In the meantime, I've been reading and learning about cheese, butter and yoghurt making. I'm very excited. Sena and Aiyana have been practicing milking. They got one surgical glove each, filled it with water, tied it so the water would not spill out, poked a tiny hole in one finger, and then pretended that finger was a teat and tried milking. Ramsey's current owner told us that this would make good practice, but if nothing else, it's been great entertainment for the two of them.

Other than that, Ed and I have been spending quite a bit of time working on our "Grow Your Own Food" course. We're going to be teaching it this coming Saturday from 9am to 4pm. I think it's going to be good. We put together a lot of practical information that we've learned from our own experience, plus reading and talking with other farmers. I honestly wish someone had given us a course like that when we first started farming. And now, I wish someone would give us a course like that about small-scale pastured dairy cows.

Peace